I Now HAVE To Have Evidence Of A Medical Appointment For EVERYTHING!! Ffs!

[PurpleWolfe]

DS (7) brought home a letter from school yesterday "....DS's attendance has fallen to 89.62% for the academic year to date." "Blah, blah, blah.....I have been monitoring DS's attendance since the beginning of the academic year and it has continued to fall, month on month. As a result we will not be able to authorise any future absence without evidence of a medical appointment"! Signed by the headteacher.

I'm not angry - I'm fucking apoplectic!!! How bloody dare they!!! The headteacher knows me and knows I'm not a 'push-over' Mum! I've dragged DS in there lots of times (in tears) and had three way conversations with her and DS about how important it is to go to school and not say there's things wrong with him when there isn't! (He had a difficult time after the split from his Dad). I have three very strict criteria for keeping them home - either/and/or high temperature (have a very accurate 'in the ear' digital thingy), puking or the squits - and - unfortunately for me, I require evidence of the last two, not just their word for it (mostly due to DD's (12) fantastical claims of vomiting to get off school! See, I ain't falling for that ol' chestnut!). So, single Mum of three is going to have to trawl down to the Dr's for every raised temperature or dose of the runs??!! The Dr is going to be well chuffed with me, too!! I can't believe it, really. What makes my blood boil is that so many parents take their children out of school for holidays (not judging this action, btw, but have never done it myself) and seem to get away without any punishment at all - even members of the school staff do it ffs!!

I fully understand the implications on DS’s education brought about by reduced attendance. However, on each and every occurrence DS has been genuinely ill and therefore his capacity for learning is greatly diminished anyway – not to mention the fact that he would be passing on whatever illness he has to his classmates. On these occasions, had I sent him to school, the onus would have then been on the school to have to send him home again – as he was ill!! Oh, and, whilst I'm at it - how much crap will I get from them if I send him to school less than 48hrs after a bout of S or D!?!?!

I've had a long and successful relationship with this school (and headmistress) over the past 8+ years. Both my older children have been through the school without any attendance issues. I'm at the school every day, twice a day. Why did she not think to talk to me about this instead, and maybe try avoid this awful, punishing rule? I have had the basic 'Mum' decision of whether my child is too ill for school or not taken away! And, yes, I understand, too, that the 'flag' for this will have come from some sort of computer print-out and that it will be government guidelines to follow it up but - where does common sense come in? Where has the personal touch gone? Why is it not possible to take past knowledge of the family into consideration? Grrrrrrr!

DS is, on the whole, of good health. I have taken him to the Dr's in the past and he has been pronounced hale and hearty. He just seems to catch whatever is going round his school and his sibling's school. Just life, really.

I'm in the process of writing a letter of complaint about this. Calm, to the point and concise. (It's taking ages just to take the expletives out!)

This has all made me feel like a really bad parent and the next time they put a request out for friggin' cakes or donations.........!

Venting finished, rant over. Sorry. Ta.

Wow! Thanks to all the positive posts here! I haven't checked back for a while. I wrote my 'angry', yet well-thought (edited!) out letter to the school and it dissipated my feelings. I haven't sent it - yet!

Just a few notes to the negative posters: Despite being a single parent family - we are not, and never have been, a 'problem' family - this fact is borne out by the exemplary attendance of my daughter and older son who have both been through the same school with no problems whatsoever. All my children are bright and well thought of by their teachers and are in their top sets at school. Taking DS's temp and discovering a raised reading is only because he has complained of other symptoms. I am not some weird, overly protective mother. Usually, he/they have complained of a sore throat/aching/D&V/cold/hot etc. or has flushed cheeks/disturbed sleep - just the sort of things that we, as Mothers, recognise as an illness. He just seems to be a bit more susceptible than the other two.

Again, thank you so much to the people who have proffered support. This ruling seems such a draconian measure, metered out, irrespective of knowledge of the family, willy-nilly!!

Due to the change in school structure in Suffolk, my son will now be in this school for a further 4 years. After a previously great relationship (I ran the second-hand uniform stall at events, took photos for the school web-site, volunteered for reading with other pupils, helped out at the school office and days out) I'm loathed (and a bit chicken, tbh!) to upset the establishment.

Good luck to everyone who has come up against these rules that do not take into consideration previous and current conduct.

Oh, and, the DS in question - genuinely hasn't been ill since!!!

I hate that parents are now encouraged to send their ill children to school. Many a day we have ill children sat in the classroom - a child with a high temperature (38+) is quite often lethargic, unable to concentrate, up and down with tissues, drinks and toilets - and generally not actually learning at all. They find PE and playtimes harder to deal with, they can't complete classwork to the best of their abilities and often cannot eat their lunch fully. In short - they cannot fully engage with the day's learning at school. They also quite often end up feeling ill for far longer - it drags on.

In that case, they do not belong at school. They belong at home in PJs curled up in bed or on the sofa being looked after.

And what makes it worse - they then pass the same bug to everyone else in the classroom, including the teaching staff and also any vunerable children around.

Thanks Hula, my point exactly - and probably the reason my son gets so many minor illnesses!

I'm an educated and switched-on parent whose (bright) children don't get away with 'stuff'. They try it on, like all children, but I'm pretty astute. When they've played up in the past (and they're not ill) it's because there is another, under-lying issue which needs addressing - and I have. We've coped with bullying problems and separation issues. All have been challenged, recognised and sympathetically - but properly - dealt with. I'm bright enough to know the difference when my children are ill, upset or just wagging!!

There is no point is sending a genuinely ill child to school! He/she won't/can't learn, is a drain on the teaching staff, is unhappy and is spreading whatever bug they have to all and sundry!!

Oh, and one last note. The teaching staff know me and my children (and their attendance) well as there are only 80ish pupils at the school.

i dont think anyone meant you personally, you know, just like those letters are not meant personally.
my kids go to a small school too and ds has a long term, pretty serious at times, health condition. we still get the crappy letters and referrals to school nurse (yay, obv way better than the consultants). its just not meant personally. one size fits all.

i definitely send mine in with minor things like sore throats, colds, high temperatures. up to you if you dont but obv it will affect attendance records.

You seem to be taking comments on this thread personally-just as you are taking the letter. Nether are intended to be taken that way.

we had the same request from school.
i wouldnt go to GP TBH.
but a good idea might be a chat with the school nurse, inundate her/him with requests for notes and the school might face a backlash.

Excellent plan slartybartfast!