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Education

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For those who did, do you think going to an all girls school was a good thing for you...?

254 replies

BraveMerida · 09/12/2013 04:19

...or did it scar you for life ? Why?!

And would/did/do you send your dd to one?

just interested. Brew

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 12/12/2013 08:54

Not for me - in fact I am extremely wary of all-girl competitive environments. I want to know what girls can achieve in a mixed environment, not what they achieve in a single sex environment.

notyummy · 12/12/2013 09:00

Worked for me. I was pretty bright but hugely unco and unattractive and was slightly sheltered in an environment where very few people were going out with boys so physical attractiveness not such a crucial element of life. Was a comp in a rough area but got pretty good results.

notyummy · 12/12/2013 09:01

'Uncool' not unco....

notyummy · 12/12/2013 09:06

Oh and lasting effects on ability to mix with opposite sex.
Joined the RAF as an officer in what was obviously a male dominated environment and had loads of male friends.

I can quite see how it depends on the school and the individual, but for me removing pressure of having to look attractive for the opposite sex as a teenager was hugely helpful.

HerrenaHarridan · 12/12/2013 09:12

Yes and yes.

The other day woman's hour did a science special and all of the top female scientists on it attended girls schools

MumpiresRedCard · 12/12/2013 09:15

Wow. Interesting herrena

MumpiresRedCard · 12/12/2013 09:25

Bonsoir, that sounds confusing. You want to know what girls can achieve in a mixed environment? Like it's an experiment you're detachec from.

Bonsoir · 12/12/2013 09:30

Sure, I'm not a schoolgirl. I'm much more interested and impressed by a girl who achieved 45/45 in her IB, AAAA or 18/20 in her bac in a mixed school than in a single-sex school.

Stropperella · 12/12/2013 09:32

I wish there was an all-girls school where I live as I would have liked a choice for my dd. Although all single-sex schools are of course not equal.

I went to 2 very different all-girls schools. One was a very socially-mixed local grammar with not particularly high academic standards. I was there for 5 years and I don't recall there being any significant bitchiness. It was a really friendly and supportive environment, which counts for a lot in the long run. The other school, which I attended for 6th form, was an extremely academic, very selective girls' boarding school, not in the least bit socially mixed. I wouldn't have wished those 2 years on my worst enemy - "friendly" and "supportive" are not the first words that come to mind when describing the atmosphere of the place, although others who were there at the same time might well disagree. It was clearly entirely the wrong school for me, all-girls or not, whereas the first one probably wasn't.

senua · 12/12/2013 09:46

Sure, I'm not a schoolgirl. I'm much more interested and impressed by a girl who achieved 45/45 in her IB, AAAA or 18/20 in her bac in a mixed school than in a single-sex school.

I'm slightly stunned. I've never before heard of anyone applying this sort of single-sex / co-ed sorting criteria. So you would be more impressed by someone achieving results 'despite' their co-ed grammar than someone who went to a single-sex sink school?

motherinferior · 12/12/2013 09:51

Paint me pink and call me Gertrude but an A is an A is an A, in my book.

senua · 12/12/2013 09:57

Oi, Gerty, a mere A won't do. In the land of Bonsoir it is nothing less than several A*.Hmm

steppemum · 12/12/2013 09:58

I went to an high ranking academic all girls independent boarding school.

There were lots of pros and cons. Some relating to the fact that it was all girls.

Many of the girls did not know how to relate to boys at all. I have 2 brothers, so that wasn't an issue for me. It meant that if there ever was any socialising with the boys school (very, very rare) the girls went a bit mad, with clothes and make-up etc.
The boarding houses could get quite bitchy at times, but that was more to do with how they were run than the fact that it was all girls, and I don't think the same applied to the classrooms during the day.

On the academic side, I think there were definite advantages. We were very focussed and the underlying unspoken expectation was that we would be achievers, high flyers, the next movers and shakers in the world. There was no sexism, no gender put downs, no insults and snide comments relating to 'being girls' Most of the teachers were real blue stockings, and so there was this amazing sense of what was important (school work obviously!) A bit Miss Jean Brodie in a way.
That sense of being as good as/better than boys was very important. It was a great feminist place actually, although I am not sure most feminists would recognise it at such.

Because my experience is single sex and private, I can't compare it to a co-ed comp, but I have imagined (probably wrongly) that the girls have to fight harder to prove themselves.

Ds will go to a single sex boys grammar in sept (I hope) He would prefer a co-ed school, but the only grammar we can get to is a boys one. It is next door to the girls grammar. They have a joint canteen, joint orchestras, theatre productions etc and then a joint sixth form. They can talk over the fence on the field at lunch time! I like this, it seems like a good balance. I like the fact that in the boys school there are lots of make teachers, good role models and lots of people who like boys and understand them (don't think our education system always does that, but that is another thread) My dd will try and get into the girls school. I like the fact that as a quiet but bright child, she will get some space to blossom, where girls are highly valued.
But dd2 would do better in the boys school! She doesn't like girls and all her friends are boys. She is only 6, but I am wondering what we will do with her, as I am not sure a single sex school would be the best.

Ultimately, having just done the agonising selection of schools for ds, I would prioritise the atmosphere of the school, the results and the behaviour over the fact it is single sex or not.

Our second choice school is a great co-ed comp, with high standards of behaviour and good results. Although I like some of the things about the grammar being single sex, it wasn't the single sex issue that decided us, quite the reverse, we would have preferred a co-ed Grammar.

NigellasDealer · 12/12/2013 10:07

honestly you lot talk as though the only interesting and worthwhile people are those who score highly on school tests -

steppemum · 12/12/2013 10:23

nigella

I think we all want our kids to get the best results they can. My ds for example is very clever with numbers. I would like him at 18 to have the choice of any career that would suit him, which would probably mean one with a high mathematical content eg egineer.

But he is also a great drummer, and likes football, and as we have looked at secondary schools, we have made sure that they have a lively music department, with band rather than just orchestra, and asked about their football teams.
If I had a kid (like one of dds best friends) who is amazing on stage, but not very academic, then I would be pursuing the options in the schools which specialize in performing arts.

With regard to the single sex thing though, as someone said up thread, all the top female scientists went to girls schools. That raises a question about how we create the space for our kids (boys and girls) to pursue their strengths and weaknesses, whatever the school they are in.

NigellasDealer · 12/12/2013 10:29

yes of course we all want our children to do as well as they can, but the way that some people go on on mumsnet, you would think that only 'bright' 'academic' children that score all As and go on to 'Russell Group' universities (a bracketing that has nothing to do with teaching or undergraduate experience btw) are even worth discussing.
Actually it is a sad reflection of our education system.

Stropperella · 12/12/2013 10:35

Wot NigellasDealer said ^^

MumpiresRedCard · 12/12/2013 11:17

Bonsoir, put u wouldnt put your own dd at that disadvantage would you? Just so that (if) she su ceeds it is more impressive!?.

MumpiresRedCard · 12/12/2013 11:20

That's crap nigellasmum.
My posts and many others posts have been about a happy environment.
This thread has not focussed purely on results. You need to be happy to reach your potential though.

NigellasDealer · 12/12/2013 11:24

it is not 'crap' Mumpire it is what I have observed here.
and I am not 'Nigellasmum' I am Nigellasdealer. Quite a different proposition.

MumpiresRedCard · 12/12/2013 11:27

Nigellasdealee, your accusation to "you lot" so off the wall im wondering if u meamt to post it on this thread or the other active thread wrt education.

Nobody on this thread has mentioned russell group universities.

This thread has been very useful to me, to read othhers'experiences, and figure out the kind if environment where my dd might be the happiest.

Think u fired off an insult to the pepple who've contributed to a really interesting thread, without readi g more than bonsoir's post.

NigellasDealer · 12/12/2013 11:29

i had no intention of insulting you mumpire, and so i must apologise, you are quite right, bonsoir's post did rattle my cage a bit. I still think what I said is true though perhaps this thread was the wrong place to put it.
apologies again if you feel offended.

stickysausages · 12/12/2013 11:35

I can't imagine it, the bitchiness & potential bullying... lack of socialisation, seeing boys as forbidden fruit....

MILLYMOLLYMANDYMAX · 12/12/2013 11:39

Went to an all girls school and hated every minute of it. Bitchy, nasty anorexia ridden bullying enviroment.

zooweemumma · 12/12/2013 13:03

Are girls in mixed schools not bitchy then? My friend has just taken her dd out of her high performing state coed because of horrendous bitchy clique of girls. I really don't think bitchy cliques are the preserve of girls schools. There's the odd queen bee at dd1s school but enough grounded, friendly girls to make them pretty meaningless.

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