For those who did, do you think going to an all girls school was a good thing for you...?

[BraveMerida]

...or did it scar you for life ? Why?!

And would/did/do you send your dd to one?

just interested.

[womma]

I went to both types of secondary school. I agree with the PP who said it depends on the personality of the child.

What I've taken away fr

[bigTillyMintspie]

I went to a 1950's style girls grammar school in the 70s/80's.
I found it strangely out of touch with reality and although I was not unhappy, it wasn't me. The teaching was dull and turgid (and banda sheets galore) and the ethos was very, very old-fashioned. Only "girls" stuff on offer - cookery and needlework, and definitely no mixing with the boys from the boys grammar. All very strange after being at a very ordinary neighbourhood mixed primary.

It definitely coloured my judgement on wanting a vibrant mixed comp for my DC.

[womma]

I went to both types of secondary school. I agree with the PP who said it depends on the personality of the child.

What I've taken away from attending an all girls' school is that I prefer mixed company. Being the only female in my familly (my mum died young and I have three brothers) I felt a bit out of place in an all girl environment, I didn't understand the bitchiness and cliquiness that adolescent girls excel at. I would choose a mixed school for my DD.

[Floppityflop]

Yes and no. Excellent academically and for extra-curricular activities. It was very pressurised and bitchy though. We did have the opportunity to mix with the boys from the grammar school for plays etc. and had some optional subjects with them in sixth form. However, despite that, I would say I have a problem with men but I don't know whether that stems from single-sex education or not.

[AngelsWithSilverWings]

I went to a girls school but the boys school was on the same site in a different building and with a separate head teacher.

I loved it being just girls but then from the fourth year the top stream were mixed so we shared the classroom with the boys right through it the upper sixth.

I remember that a lot of silly behaviour and disruption started as soon as the boys joined us ( mainly from one little group of boys who would always head straight to the back of the classroom and do their best to disrupt the class) I remember being a bit intimidated by the fact that there were boys in the classroom suddenly and I would be shy about speaking up or answering questions.

I'm sure that these days the bad behaviour would be stamped down on but we got away with murder back then.The teachers didn't care even though we were top stream pupils.

[SaltySeaBird]

It was fine for me and probably delayed me being too interested in my looks / sexualised. I wasn't really interested in boys and did well academically (As at GCSE and A Level). Looking back I was quite immature. I didn't really socialise with any boys at all.

It didn't have any negative impact on my relationships with men, I went to university, met lots and studied alongside boys, was all perfectly normal. Right after I left uni met a particularly lovely one who is now my DH of 13 years. I've got an equal number of male and female friends now.

I can't say that it was down to my schooling though, things may have been the same if I had been in a co-ed situation. I'd look at how good the school was, the results and access to extra curricular activities. The single sex thing would be far down the list in terms of importance for me.

[ThreeBeeOneGee]

I went to what was the best school for me. It happened to be a girls' school. It was a positive experience and I did very well.

I am sending my older two to the best school for them. It happens to be a boys' school. I plan to do the same for the younger two.

[Merrylegs]

I went to one. I was a quiet shy kid and instead of inspiring me I think being surrounded by a lot of brilliant girls rather intimidated me.

However DD was desperate to go to an all girls school because she has two older brothers who tend to squash her (literally and figuratively). She is thriving there. Loves being surrounded by girls- although she says that when she's 15 she will 'probably need a boyfriend' so she will have to go to a mixed school.

If she had been an only or just had sisters I think I would have sent her co -ed.

[magicstars]

I loved being at a girls' school, I was totally boy mad but don't know if that would've been any different at a mixed school!
My school was very academic and I was average, so that was difficult at times.
I would hope to send my dd to a girls' school.

[AthelstaneTheUnreadyFucker]

Can't compare as only went to the one school from 7 onwards, but academically and practically it was very good; there were no gender boundaries to knowledge, so there was never any handwringing about whether it was geeky/a boy thing to do greek, or further maths, or extra A-levels just for fun, because you just followed up what interested you most/what you were best at.

Woodwork was compulsory for a year, as was Greek, as was sewing - their attitude was that a child should know as much as possible about everything - no such thing as a useless skill.

We were all pretty well behaved and I never came across any bitchiness - I was more shocked by the things the Notre Dame girls down the road would say to each other...

[throckenholt]

I don't think it scarred me (I think I am fairly sane :))

Personally I think mixed primary is fine, but single sex secondary is good - with all the emotional and hormonal turmoil going on in the teenage years it is good to have a haven away from the pressure of it all. There are enough outside school hours to socialise with the other sex.

And I do think there is an issue of perceptions of boy/girl subjects in a mixed school which are easier to avoid in a girls school. Having said that in my school we had one very bad physics teacher and two good biology teachers so it really did reinforce the science split stereotype. I didn't do a level physics because I couldn't face the teacher for another 2 years (didn't do biology either because I found it tedious !).

It would obviously depend on the particular schools, and for me also whether there is also the opportunity to mix with boys (eg I had a brother close in age so always loads of boys around, plus the school bus (1 hour journey) was for both schools).

[TobyLerone]

I went to a girls' grammar at 13. I didn't want to transfer from my mixed comp, but there was no question that I would.

It was actually excellent. I loved it. And I needed the academic focus (although how much of that was to do with the fact that it was a grammar and how much was to do with the fact that it was single sex is unknown).

I would have loved DD to have gone, but she didn't pass the 11+.
DS goes to the boys' grammar and is thriving there.

[tumbletumble]

I was at a single sex school and it was a positive experience for me. I had lots of friends, did very well academically and had a pretty healthy attitude towards boys and sex. Maybe it helped that I had a brother.

I now have 2 DSs and 1 DD and the schools around here are both mixed and single sex, so I'll be making this decision too in a couple of years. At the moment I have an open mind but leaning towards single sex.

[Pukkapik]

My DD, aged 15, is at a single sex school. We chose it because of the style of teaching that suited my DD rather than the fact it was single sex. But just within the last few months, I can see how its single sex aspect is actually an advantage:

• there is no boy distraction during class
• all subjects and potential careers are taken seriously by the girls so there is truly a feeling of Can Do, Will Do. English, Drama and Psychology are not seen as being natural girls subjects any more than Physics or Maths, Geology or Engineering.

I was at co-ed. I and many friends were expected to gravitate to the arty social subjects, which we then did. My DD is inspired by both, and IMO, for her, that is a good education.

[Pukkapik]

PS my DD has 3 brothers, so no shortage of male company at home!

[wordfactory]

I attended a co-ed secondary but have chosen single sex for my DC.

DD went to a co-ed prep then single sex at 11. She's now 15.

I can honestly say that it's been fab. The atmosphere is very supportive and nurturing. Like a big sisterhood. Issues of appearance are pretty much marginalised at school, which saves a lot of time and angst. DD mentions often how glad she is not to have to worry about this like some of her friends at mixed schools do.

That said, DD has a twin brother, so her life involves lots of boys. They're not other . She's intending to go to a co-ed school for sixth form.

[SonorousBip]

I'm looking at exactly this at the moment. I did mixed primary, single sex secondary. My school was emphatically NOT an academic hot house-type girls school and was about as far removed from Malory Towers as you can imagine: large, urban girls comp. I did well, but found it very constricted for 6th form. I wanted to go to a mixed 6th form college and still think that would have been a v good option. Had I changed then I think I would have been v positive re the Y7-Y11 all-girls experience.As it is, I'm a bit meh. But it wasn't the type of school that celebrated pioneering women, and I think - it was different times - that it pigeon holed girls every bit as much as a mixed school would.

For DD, you can only look at the schools available to you. For us, there are quite a lot of all girls, particularly GDST types. They fall much more into the "girl power"-type, which is a vibe I like! TBH, she has a brother quite close in age and so at the moment my only view is that mixed or single sex is not the defining issue. I think I would be a bit less relaxed if she had no brothers.

DS is at a co-ed school which makes a deal of it being co-ed and I have to say it has opened my eyes to the fact that it does seem - for him - to be a good thing.

[MyNameIsWinkly]

My girls school was definitely the right one for me.

I was shy and not confident, but very academic. The boisterousness I've seen from boys whilst working in coed schools would have scared the life out of me. I chose maths and science A Levels and there was no issue about them being traditional male subjects.

On an A Level field trip we fought over wellies and waterproofs, and the people running the centre commented how the girls from the coed schools wouldn't go near them, for fear of looking less than perfect in front of the boys. It was good not having to impress anyone.

There was bitchiness, but I think girls can be bitchy anywhere, and possibly more so if there are boys to fight over. Most of my closest friends are my school friends. It didn't scar me for life; I had no problems with a coed environment at university (I had become much more self confident by then) and I work in a very 'male' environment now without issue. I would send a Dd to a girls school in a heartbeat, if it was a decent school. That said, I would probably prefer to send a DS to a coed school.

[nomorecrumbs]

No, not socially. I got very good academic results but think I would have actually done even better had I been around boys more. I was a tomboy and preferred to hang out with boys as a child. After 10 years of only socialising with some very bitchy girls, I couldn't even look at boys until well into Uni. I was terrified.

It's a really unnatural environment IMO and totally doesn't prepare you for adult working life.

[GooseyLoosey]

I took my shy, underconfident dd out of a mixed school and put her in a girl's school. Her confidence has soared as has her ability in maths. She does not have to compete with the more confident boys for the teacher's attention and it has made a huge difference to her. Of course I cannot judge whether there will also be social issues for her as she gets older but as she has a brother only 15 months older than her, there are lots of boys in her life so I hope not.

[MummyCoolski]

I liked my girls' school. I did plenty of extra-curricular activities around music (choirs & orchestras), so had lots of friends from other schools, many of whom were boys.

At school there was a feeling (at least amongst my peer group) that there was no shame in working hard and achieving academically, which seems to be an issue in some other schools I have heard of, though I'm not sure this is linked to co-ed/single sex.

[Golddigger]

Hmm. Accedemically, much better. I think that virtually all of us did better than we would have with boys there.

But on the social side, I remember being shocked when a couple of girls in our last year got pregnant. [We are talking end of 70's]

[nomorecrumbs]

I think it's more likely to be low-achieving schools in deprived areas, MummyCoolski - I lived in a deprived area and went to a very academic, private all-girls school. I was the neighbourhood "swot" and "posho"!

Didn't stop me playing with the boys at home, but by 14 (after 6 years of all-girls' classes) I became very, very reclusive and shy around them.

[wordfactory]

Article here about gender bias www.mumsnet.com/Talk/in_the_news/1934406-What-should-schools-be-doing-to-address-this-gender-bias