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Original poster

good state or excellent private?

78 replies

nothercules · 14/07/2006 23:30

cant post lentghy as using onsceen keyboard

if you could afford it would you send kids privately to excellent schools or to good state?

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 14/07/2006 23:31

state

CristinaTheAstonishing · 14/07/2006 23:33

State school, esp if private one was single-sex.

ninah · 14/07/2006 23:34

good state

brimfull · 14/07/2006 23:36

depends if I lived in a community where they would be outsiders by going to the private,I think going to a good state school and being a part of local community wher you and your neighbours all go to the local school is invaluable.

However if I lived in the middle of nowhere and had the dosh I would choose the private as the local frined thing wouldn't be as important.

hope that made sense,have had a lot of wine tonight.

Greensleeves · 14/07/2006 23:36

state

bloss · 14/07/2006 23:44

Message withdrawn

CristinaTheAstonishing · 14/07/2006 23:47

Bloss, not being controversial here, but wouldn't the social aspect be a factor in your choice too? Would you put academic achievement above personal frienships?

Original poster
nothercules · 14/07/2006 23:47

that's the difficulty. It'sa gamble as to what'sthe best and excellent is better than good. but could bethe same andsave a packet

OP posts:
sparklemagic · 14/07/2006 23:49

I would look closely at both places and choose the one which I thought my child would be happiest at.

Original poster
nothercules · 14/07/2006 23:49

not sure about social thing. kids shoud beall rounded but having experienced astate comp not so sure.

OP posts:
mears · 14/07/2006 23:49

Academic achievement does not necessarily mean private. Sometimes private school can be better for children who get 'lost' in the state school with bigger classes.

sparklemagic · 14/07/2006 23:51

hee hee you can tell I DIDN'T go to private school. Perhaps I should have said "choose the one at which my child would be happiest".

Grammar was an optional extra at my inner city comp.

Original poster
nothercules · 14/07/2006 23:52

ds needs pushing but bright. difficult in large class.

he would settle in both

OP posts:
brimfull · 14/07/2006 23:53

do all his local friends go to the local state?

Original poster
nothercules · 14/07/2006 23:56

yes but he is confidant and popular so will make new ones.

OP posts:
Gobbledigook · 14/07/2006 23:59

I agree with others that you need to just look at both your options very carefully and pick which suits your ds best in all aspects.

I'm always tempted to just put 'state' but that's because I'm lucky enough to have an excellent one on my doorstep with a great community round about. There are too many variables in peoples own circumstances AND between one private school and the next and one state school and the next to be able to say 'state' or 'private'.

There are private schools round here there is no way I'd send mine to (far too 'off the planet' and 'snotty') and there are others that I'd be happy for them to go to, had we not a fabulous state option.

brimfull · 14/07/2006 23:59

so if he goes private you will have to drive him to see friends etc.If you're happy with that and he is too then I would decide by seeing which school suits him best and he prefers.

dixia · 15/07/2006 07:25

Though I'd jump on the bandwagon. I went to an excellent single-sex private. Mum was adament that I went as she thought I wouldn't be pushed at the state and do as well as I could. I'm sure she was right. I had a fantastic schooling - loved it really. I consistently improved year by year, but its different for each person. Some of the girls hated it. single sex environments work for some people and not for others. For me, I developed a great confidence which stood me in good stead for making relationships with boys and girls outside school. If you do send them to the private school, I recommend that you try to get them involved with clubs or groups outside school. This way they mix with both sexes and children from a different demograph.

Also, v. important is how close you live to both schools. The closer you live to a school the better. a lot of my friends at school had to travel on the train for over an hour to get there every day - this puts a huge pressure on the child and seems a waste of time to me.

sorry for long post!

bloss · 15/07/2006 11:04

Message withdrawn

bloss · 15/07/2006 11:05

Message withdrawn

sandradee · 15/07/2006 11:08

Privately to excellent schools - it's a no brainer when you put it like that.

Ladymuck · 15/07/2006 11:49

If money isn't an issue, then to the excellent private. You sound as if you have already determined that one is "better" than the other.

If you can afford it, then don't let the fact that you're paying necessarily put you off. Look at the "product" rather than the price. Paying more doesn't necessarily get you something better, but I think that an excellent schooling is very valuable. Of course that excellent schooling could be free or expensive, but that is a secondary issue if you have the cash to spare.

I can't say that I am getting an extra £7k per years worth over education/experience for ds1 over what the free state school would have offered. But I couldn't be happier with the school we've chosen, so it is worthwhile for me. For some purchases there is merit is paying as little as possible (though frankly not many IMO), but for me education isn't one of them.

I suspect attitudes to private schools will change over time as variable university fees become the norm and people face having to choose cheaper degrees at some unviersities versus more expensive courses at others.

sallystrawberry · 15/07/2006 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fattiemumma · 15/07/2006 12:09

ds has SN so if i could affor4d to privatly educate him i would. without a doubt.

DD i would prefer for her to go to a good State school. in an idealw orl there would be no difference in the standard of education...in reality there is usually quite a gap.

its a bit like saying..if you were a millionaire would you still buy PRIAMRK?
there's nowt wrong with primark but if you can afford designer you probably would

sandradee · 15/07/2006 12:11

I went to a public school. I think what benefitted me was the fact that it gave me the confidence to go out into the world and be me, stand up for myself and not be afraid to speak out. The school I went to was huge on discipline and respect and it definitely carried on what my parents had taught me at home. As a result I do have high moral values and in part I owe it to my school.

It also taught me to be very independent - I could cook when I was 16 and I did all my own washing. Lots of people think that you are a snob if you go to public school - but it's not always very nice. No mummy to go crying home to.

What I can say is that from it I have made so many amazing friends that have been there for me over the last 20 odd years - and for that I'm very grateful.

I am not saying that if we were in a catchment where DS cold go to an excellent state school that I would not send him there. DH went to one of the top comprehensives in the country and beat many top public schools in the lague tables.

But it is not all about league tables, it's about so many things. A school should be nurturing and caring and take the child's individual needs on board. Different schools suit different children.

There is a big difference between private schools and they all have a different ethos.

I knew people who hated the school I went to, whilst other thrived. It really does depend at the end of the day not only on money (of course that is a huge factor in the choice you make) but also it's down to the individual child.

It's a shame that there is such a divide between schools in the UK and that sometimes going private is the only option.