back from sports day for reception age - very upset

[Spatz]

Just been to our first sports day for about 25 years! Shocked by the treatment of small children - I thought the world had moved on. DDs reception class had to do egg and spoon, obstacle and sprint races then some throwing and jumping. The events were all won by the same few biggest children (all boys).

As far as it went that's okay because they had fun in the events, but the prizegiving at the end went on for about 15 mins while each of six races had three certificates and a medal for the winner - some lads had 5 or 6 prizes by the end and most children ended up with nothing. They became sadder and sadder as they realised they wouldn't get a certificate and many ended up in tears. At the end the head of the junior school said they should all go to their class teacher to make sure they got a little 'I'm a good sport' thing to pin on.

How are other sports days run? Is this normal?

he is ok - totally copes with football now (which at one stage I nearly stopped because the emotional trauma of it all was too much for everyone) and the school say he is ok (but he is only in nursery so not much scope for it to come out yet!) but we played a few board games the other day and he was beside himself again (when he lost) and was trying to engineer a win for himself - I think we take 2 steps forward, 1 step back

I have hope that he will get better as he gets older

was totally distraught at the world cup

Ours isn't till 24th July so will have to come back to this later!

However, I think it's pretty pointless if it's not competitive but agree they could make it less blatant if the same few won everything - that's equally boring - at least for 4 and 5 yr olds.

I'm looking forward to the Mums race where I'll properly whoop their asses

poison my ds1 is 8 in August. He weeps tears of rage when he has not won in sports of his team has not won. Nothing I can say wiil calm him down. He is , however, learning to deal with it, and if he thinks he has lost I get him to look at what he wants to do to improve his chances for next time. i must stress that I always say that is his choice and that I am quite easy about it but can see that it makes him suffer.

Cod's point about the culture of the school is what really worries me - are they going to crush all the children who aren't great at something or encourage all of them to try hard and feel proud of their achievements and then they may try harder next time.

our sports day the kids were all divided into teams

and the team with the most points won

dd1 won the egg and spoon in her wheelchair - her SSA pushed her really fast so she won a race

and for the obstacle course which she did in her walking frame she was the last by such a long way but everyone was clapping and cheering all the way

I don't see why if our school can make a disabled child feel good about sports day, any school can't make a perfectly able one feel confident too

DS2 is 5 in August and came last in his Reception boys' race. He said consideringly to me on the way home,"If all the others had been 4 as well, I might not have come last" .

My 8 in August boy generally fibs to me now to cover up the fact that he never wins any heats. He is still a lousy loser.

yeah, it's crap.
I am all for achievement, but what about participation? effort? the right spirit?
this is the way to turn the majority of children right off sport from the start.
it isn't even about "trying harder next time" either. some children are never going to be the fastest or strongest.
how would this work if you were to transfer thisattitude to the classroom? celebrate the top 5% of academic achievers all the time, and ignore the rest?

oh fgs obviously there is "real life" competition at the olympics, but they are not children.

real life is full of disappointment, death and people who don't think your every scribble is a work of art, but we don't shove that in kids faces "because they've got to learn sometime" do we? and anyway most of us couldn't give a fig about the olympics, never mind compete.

(that post aimed at mummydear btw)

come to think of it, I came second academically every single year at school, in almost every subject. never won a prize. sniff.

a standing ovation is better than a prize though.

I guess it is only once a year, though, and schools do acknowledge other achievements through certificates, assemblies, concerts etc throughout the year.

though I must say I ran very hard in the parent's race today

Life is competative, yes to some extent, but most of us chose which things to compete in.
The child with learning difficulties is not generally expected to stand up in front of the entire school and their parents and read aloud, or do mental arithmetic, so why are small unco-ordinated children put through this level of public humiliation.

My dds are in reception and year two and are well aware that theycan't run, but their school does traditional races. Thankfully it doesn't go as far as the award ceremony. Stickers are given out as the races are run.

Really sorry to hear about your experience today, Spatz. Can't bear to think of your DD unhappy or any of her class mates for that matter. Looking forward to a good natter sometime. What are you upto tomorrow? DH v involved in anniversary of 7/7 so I'll be around an about.

My kids' school gave stickers for 1st-4th in every race - no prizes but like the OP's, the same kids ended up with loads of stickers and the rest with none and it used to break my heart seeing them going hopefully up to the teacher with the stickers at the end of each race, because they didn't have a clue where they'd finished, and being sent back to their seats with nothing - why couldn't they all have a fecking sticker, it would have cost about 50p to give every child a sticker for every race they were in - my blood used to BOIL

In the juniors (house system) they gave points (4 for 1st, 3 for 2nd etc) for the first 4 finishers - I tried, when a gov, to get them to give 8 points down to 1 (the races were run in 8s) so that everybody got something for trying, but they couldn't be arsed. More boiling blood.

jasnem I really disagree with the idea that children with learning difficulties shouldn't stand up and be proud of their achievements in front of the whole school

the whole point of this thread for me is that everyone, whatever their abilities, should be proud of how they perform however it compares with everyone else

a child with learning difficulties gets the same kick out of praise and recognition as anyone else, and they deserve it equally

I wish I had a pound for every time I have heard parents complaining about non competitive sports days and yearning for the return of the egg and spoon and the sack race.

At our school, they organise all the pupils into teams (red, blue,, yellow and green)

On each team, you have a number of children from each year group. The children only compete against other children of the same age, but at the end, all the points are added up and one team is announced the winner (ie a quarter of the total pupils win)

It seems much more sporting and the older kids look after the younger ones in their team.

I lost every single race when I was child, didn't just loose but came in last on almost every occassion. I used to get so nervous about sports day, that i would be physically sick because I knew that i would be humiliated.

Even as an adult, i am reluctant to get involved in team sports as I jusr don't feel confident enough.

ours is a mixture of competitive and non. there are races but also "displays" (4 year olds throwing beanbags to each other etc). At the end they announce who came first and second in all the races and they get a clap (one big clap for all of them) and then everyone gets a rosette and an icecream.

parents race is always silly - one race, for mums and dads. last year it was on child-sized space hoppers. One mum had to nick a pair of trousers off another one (who was left standing in her long tunic-y top) because she was wearing a miniskirt and thong which would have been OBSCENE on a space hopper! so not competitive, no, and no prizes for parents!

I like the sound of that, pph - esp "(one big clap for all of them) and then everyone gets a rosette and an icecream".

(Everyone used to get an icecream at ours too but rosettes (or stickers) all round too would have been a great improvement )

Agree that a balance has to be made between the winners and people taking part and achievemnet , but its seems in this PC society that we are afriad to recognise winners in case we offend someone.

What incentive is there for anyone to do well and improve in any subject whether it be sport or an acaddemic subject if everyone who takes part is recognised with a certificate and there is no differnce bewteen someone who may be talented and someone just taking part.

I know we are only talking about young children but its the thin edge of the wedge. Children do have to learn that there will be winners and losers and that you cannot have it all all of the time.

If children show no talent or interest in sport ther are plenty of other subjects and interests they could excel at.

QPH - I have a rather vivid image in my head involving a space hopper, mini skirt and thong now!! I am going to have nightmares Thank God she found a pair of trousers..

Our school is split into three houses. Every child gets points (1-6) depending on finishing position. All the children get applause, more so those who aren't so fast, or who struggle in the obstacle race etc etc.

Most, if not all, of the children seem to enjoy the day, and most are happy to get out of lessons for the half-day. The emphasis is on participation, even though each race has a winner, and one house wins overall.

Interestingly, one of the new mums said she was glad to see a "proper" sports day as at the children's former school it was a non-competitive afternoon.