back from sports day for reception age - very upset

[Spatz]

Just been to our first sports day for about 25 years! Shocked by the treatment of small children - I thought the world had moved on. DDs reception class had to do egg and spoon, obstacle and sprint races then some throwing and jumping. The events were all won by the same few biggest children (all boys).

As far as it went that's okay because they had fun in the events, but the prizegiving at the end went on for about 15 mins while each of six races had three certificates and a medal for the winner - some lads had 5 or 6 prizes by the end and most children ended up with nothing. They became sadder and sadder as they realised they wouldn't get a certificate and many ended up in tears. At the end the head of the junior school said they should all go to their class teacher to make sure they got a little 'I'm a good sport' thing to pin on.

How are other sports days run? Is this normal?

Well, no. I didn't mean the whole prolonged prizegiving (for anything). But a completely non-competitive sports day sounds a bit odd to me. There will be races. People will come 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc. Badge/certificate for the top places, stickers for everyone I reckon. Team events are good idea up to a point, but a bit sad for the fastest child in the class partnered with my ds and therefore not winning anything. And more likely to lead to a falling out.

I'm sure it won't last, gs

It depends on how important "winning" is, really

(no, SP, probably not. Lets savour the moment )

DS2 has sports day tomorrow (non-competitive team stuff, everyone gets a sticker personally from HT for taking part.)
But ds2 has badly damaged elbow and consultant has specifically banned sports day (along with bike riding, skateboarding, playgrounds, PE, tree-climbing, and everything else he might have done this summer!) So he can't take part, and neither dh and I have been able to arrange time off to attend.
But his lovely teacher has promised him a "special job" for the day
I hope he remembers!

Do you know, I'm going to modify my previous mollifying stance now. I'm moving beyond reception age, but as children get older, some of them are going to find out that they're quite good at certain things. It might be running, or swimming. And they like being good at it. And they work hard at being good at it. And they think they might take it further. And for them winning will be REALLY important. And if they're not given the chance to win, where's the motivation for them. How many top class sports people aren't competitive? It's the nature of the beast. And it should be encouraged.

Some people do actually find other motivations for pursuing excellence other than the pleasure of stamping all over the competition, however

And there are huge differences between an average reception child and a top-class sports star. It may be the "nature of the beast" in some cases - but not all children evolve into the same kind of beast!

I don't think this is the way to encourage it - those who are actually good at very specific things will do them voluntarily and be coached by people who know how to bring out the best in them, not by discouraging and upsetting them.

The sports day today tested a very limited range of physical activities, which is why only 5 or so boys came 1 2 and 3 in everything NOT because they had any talent - they were the oldest and biggest ffs. One of the little girls might be a brillian gymnast or tennis player and be put off sports (and school) by this kind of treatment.

I say this because dh's school had no competitive sports at all. No football team, no sports day. Any child who was any good at sport either left to go elsewhere (if they could afford it, not a part of the world with much choice), got out-of-hours coaching, if their parents supported them, or missed out.

I'm really not advocating cut throat competition among the under 5s. But sport IS competitive. I've seen the under 7s football team. Denying it, and talking about winning not mattering, is pie in the sky. But I think I'm going to have to stop arguing with you Greensleeves. It's happening a lot today.

I can't see the problem. It's a debate, not an argument. But please yourself

My ds (age 5) came last in the reception race! He ran along waving at all the mums then realised that the others were way ahead. He was the only one who realised he was last because the others were all yelling about who came first, second etc. He even laughed about it afterwards .

Sorry, I meant to add a

And I don't mean the word argument in a perjorative sense. I love a good barney.

I'm just worried about the impression you are building of me ATM. From todays posts, you probably think I habitually ignore my children and when I do speak to them I'm threatening to chop off their legs for coming last in the sack race (evil )

No, I don't Actually I quite like you

Ours all get a sticker for each race they enter and at the end each one goes up for a "I took part" certificate and any winners got a rosette at the same time. This way every child had a reward at the time, all got to go up to the Headteacher for a clap and certificate and yet the winners also got recognised with an extra prize without any extra time taken up. All happy, no tears - just a couple of over emotional proud mums

LIfe is competitive. Children have to learn that there are winners and loosers and that they can't always win and that they have to learn how to loose.
I'm not advocating the school of hard knocks, but I think that if we encouraged competetive sports in our schools more then England wouldn't be so crap at so many sports.

i knwo of a scjool that had one but paretns werent allwoed to come!

poppyflower, as I and others said many posts ago, life isn't really competetive. at least it's not competetive in the same rub-your-nose-in-it type way that sports day is. I think that is a facile argument.

have just been ot paretns evening where ds2s teacher commented on the size of ds2s calf muscles, he is 5

is he your competitive one?

thankfully no
you have one too dont oyu?
ds1 is the one, now he has been very happy recently and his teahcer said she has seen loads of intsances whrehe has held it togethter! she says august born boys are like that - he is doing ok witht he shcool work but temtotionally is very young.

Agree with poppyflower on this one.

No parents races allowed at our school ...too competitive in previous years !!

Imagine 2012 in London, stickers and fluffy bunnies everywhere !!!

yes I have one

he is about to start reception - am dreading all the stuff dressed up as non-competitive because ds will see straight through it

(august boys have it tough - I have an august girl and she struggles enough with the emotional school stuff as it is)

our place manages to keep it competitive wihtout going over board afterwards dronign on and on about the winners
so apprentle one house won but no one is so sure by hwat amount
there is a happy meduim adn it depends on the culture of the school to find that and have it runnning thoruhg out all shcool acitivities nto just one day

here endeht the lesson

well done your ds1 - is he nearing 8? someone told me they start learning to hold it in slightly better at that age (oh I live in hope)

All my children are competetive, not just in school sports, but they feel very strongly when say their fav football team doesn't win. They are having to learn that you can't always win, but you can learn to improve your performance IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT.
We have nevr said to them that we want them to win. We have always that that knowing that you have tried your best is what counts.
Life is made up of goals, self set and those set by others. As adults we have to learn to deal with disappointment and work out accordingly how to modify our behaviour to acheive our goals.
A child who has been protected from 'loosing' will have one hell of a shock later on in life and will find it much harder to cope.

yes he is 8 in august
how is ti with you?