2 children, 2 schools, 2 parent events, 1 job: or how to be in 3 places at once

[Medea]

Dd, in preschool, has her first "school concert" on the July 5th. She's been talking about it for weeks.

My unsporty ds, in year 1, has his first sports day. Takes place same day as concert. He, too, wants me there.

On that same day, same time, I'm supposed interview for a job I very much want. I wasn't given any choice about the interview; I was told "This is the day and time we can offer you."

Dh just started a new job; no way can he miss half a day to attend either of the kids' events.

Is this a common problem: having to choose which of your children you'll disappoint? And what if work enters the equation too?

Message withdrawn

That's REALLY bad luck!

Work never enters the equation for me (my boss is FANTASTIC in this respect) but we've also been lucky (so far) and managed to sort out something between ourselves if the children's stuff clashes.

Any grandparents, aunties, good friends who could take your place??

Not ideal I know.

lol @ pray for rain. Yep, that would solve one problem.

And I think the dress rehearsal idea is a good one too.

ditto snorkle.

i think that in the long run the interview is most important. and that way you can explain to both children that you cannot attend either event, thus disappointing both but not making one feel left out or less worthy than the other.

schols usually video these events and you can buy them from the school....i realy like snorkles idea of trying to attend a dress rehersal, or if maybe theyw ill repeat the performance.

when i was at scholw e always had to do at least 2 shows so that all the parents got a chance to come and see....there wasn't enough rom in our small hall for everyone to come at once.

its a tough decision but if you get the job you can treat both children to ease the pain

Oh tough one ! I'd probably do the interview too, then rope in granny, your sister, whoever, to attend the events. And do the video idea too.

I once had to miss my 8yo ds star in a school play It was the first time he had a big role too. But I picked up mil, a friend dropped her off at the school, and a parent who was already videoing the event happily agreed to includ e lots of footage of ds. Afterwards I met ds and mil back at my house for tea and buns. He was fine (thoufg i was still guilty).

Hmm. Could dh invent an appointment or just be honest and ask for a half day? I think in your position I'd take the day off, tell the interviewing people you can't make that day, sorry, (and if you HAVE to give a reason, which I don't think you do but if they push it I'd give a work related or dentistry one) and go to both. Is that possible?

Good suggestions, everyone. I'm an expat and don't have any family nearby (alas). . .MIL, who lives nearish enoughan hour away is unwell. Don't really have close friends here who have much of a relationship with my kids. . they tend to be based abroad. I see now another advantage of having your "people" near.

Dh is going to see what he can do, www. And I'll call HR tomorrow about rescheduling interview. But if interview can't be moved, I'll feel less bad about it (thanks to snorkle & fattimumma. )

Very good & practical suggestions--much appreciated.

hello medea - hatstand as was here. haven't seen you around for eons. how are you? I would definitely give rescheduling the interview a go. could you say that since speaking the first time you've had a hospital appointment come through for something mundane and routine but which they won;t change.

can I ask what the job is?

btw I am very ignorant and I didn;t know the story of medea, but I do now.

Oh hi there thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat! I was wondering if you'd undergone a namechange: I like it v much! As for "Medea". . .yeah, that's my inappropriate sense of humour at work, I'm afraid. Oh, the interview is for a creative writing lecturer post. I've had the job unofficially for 6 months (as a deputy tutor) but am applying for it permanently now. How's everything with you? Thanks for further advice.

I'm fine. just finished my exams which were horrendous - I've loved the course and I've learned vast amounts but find the unseen 4 essays in 3 hours exam model ludicrous - just impossible to say anything of particular interest with that kind of time pressure. Am struggling to give myself a kick up the bum to get moving with my dissertation now - just enjoying feeling a bit more relaxed and spending more time being mum. The job sounds good - nearly applied for a lecturer job myself, but realised I was being unduly influenced by the 5 minute commute to Kingston University. I could have taken the girls to school and been at work for 5 past 9. I could get a dog and walk it every lunchtime. I'd never have to stand on a train staring into space cos it was too crowded to read teh paper. But then I remembered (partly prompted by dh) that I don;t actually want to teach! Good luck with the interview.

Well done! Can't believe you've finished the course now. Best of luck with exam results & dissertation.

Sounds like rescheduling the interview could be a realistic option if they know and love you already, Medea? And dh needs the new job to get used to him bunking off as necessary. Good luck with all the juggling.

What course are you doing, hat? Hope you do well in the exams- they sound hellish.

hi scummy - I'm just coming up to the end of a masters in law. it has been great, but yes, exams were hellish.

i really wouldn't reschedule a job interview for a reason like this. i don't think it looks too great for potential employers.

last week I went to dd2's school assembly rehearsal which they did for the school, rather than the official parents one tomorrow. dd2 was fine with that (she's 4). can you do that? go to the rehearsal?

otherwise, if you go to most of their school events, or even some, maybe that's enough. of course it matters that you go to your children's things but it's not always feasible to go to them all. i go to some, and miss others. i make quite an effort for the ones which aren't in my work time and hope that makes up for missing the others which are more inconveniently timed.

good luck with the job interview

Fennel, just saw your post after I attempted to reschedule job interview. (I didn't give a reason for wanting to reschedule--just asked if it'd be possible. It wasn't!)

So job interview must stand. Dd's preschool has agreed to let me see dress rehearsal. And I think I'll just about make it to last bit of ds's sports day & lunch. So thanks, everyone. . .such great suggestions.

Well that sounds like a reasonable compromise Medea, good luck wtih the interview.