Think Carefully Before Opting for Private Education

[PRMum2012]

i am a mum of two (23 months and 3 in august)I am self-employed, part time and married to a lovely architect. We have a great life and two happy kids.

On paper I would say I have not done too badly with my life and my aim is to work full time as soon as possible now my kids are a bit older. If the work was available I would happily work full time now.

Despite setting up my own business I can't help feeling like a failure that I can't afford for my own children, what my parents did for me.... It annoys me that I put so much importance on it ... I am now passionate about finding a decent local primary school for my children so they don't feel the same pressure i do now, when they are older and looking for schools for their kids ....but i'll be honest ......assuming i can afford it i would try and do it from 11 if i can....!!!!...

Hopefully by then, my kids will have an input too and they will be forming their own opinions on the issue.

Depending on mortgage and family support I can't see that it's possible for anyone with two kids earning under £80,000 - £1000,000 + (as a family income) to afford private education anymore, my advice is unless you have a thriving business or two, work as a dr, lawyer or banker.... Forget it.

It's really hard to watch my younger sibling do it for her kids, they are paying for private prep while we cant afford it.... But it really upsets me I feel like this... why can't I just be happy for them and quietly satisfied that I don't need to pay on top of my taxes for my kids education.

For my own primary education i went privately, tried the local school for secondary education but was bullied so moved back to the private system.... I had a mix of private and state during secondary - my second private school was amazing but the second state school I attended for 6th form (my choice) was great too so why is this all having such an impact on what I want for my own kids.

My DH is much more laid back, he went privately all the way through but doesn't place as much value on it as I do/did....I wish I felt the same way but all I feel now is pressure to earn more money so I can pay for them both from 11.

Right have to be brief being a workaholic and all. Firstly DH's family aren't minted GPs paid for his schooling. Secondly I agree about belittling what you can't or have choose not to have. For example MTS doesn't want to believe that .my dcs will do just as well at state school as they would had we both worked ft and lived on economy chicken so we could afford the school fees.

"But I think people like the idea that advanatges like being rich or going to private school is actually a curse. It makes them feel better"
Talking of making them feel better it never ceases to amaze me that those who are anti independent education also in the same breath manage to state that there is no difference between what a good state schools offers and achieves and any independent schools. If this was the case why attack independent ed so vociferously? I don't like Cath Kitson but I don't go on an on line forum berating people who IMO waste their money on it. Its my money why cant I spend it how I choose especially if the outcome will be identical or as some seen to state (hope) even worse.
MTS word I am not convinced that serious "shed loads" of money makes you happy. My DH has the pleasure or not depending on your point of view of working with the some of the richest people in the world (although they pay his wages and therefore our bills including the school fees). They are certainly no happier than we are and have many problems in thier lives. A good friend whose DH is high on the Sunday Times Rich List once told me that no one has ever said no to her husband. I just can't equate this this with happiness.

As it is we have two pt jobs, 2 foreign holidays a year eat out plenty and believe our dcs are doing just fine.

Wish If I stated what you stated my DS are doing just fine etc I'm accused of being arrogant.
Your DC's are doing well and happy at their school I'm delighted for you and many others in state ed do but many don't for a whole variety of reason but do flourish and thrive in independent ed. Such is life.
It is those who don't have the financial recourses to afford 2 foreign holidays a year and eating out regularly and therefore cant give them up to afford the fees and who live in cachments with crap state schools that concern me.

Absolutely happy. I came on here to make OP feel better.We would have a v. low threshold for switching to PE. We are fortunate to be in that position.

And I don't think PE confers advantage. I think having MC educated involved parents confers advantage.

"I think having MC educated involved parents confers advantage."
Absolutely but not in the same league as having multi millionaire parents.

Multimillionaire and involved

Maybe not overly involved multimillionaires its all about who you know.

wish - where do I make the assertion that other people's DCs can't be happy in a state school?

The OP asked how people on £80-£100k can afford private education. I told the OP how we can afford it. I don't recall telling you or anyone else that their DCs can't possibly be happy or successful at a state school.

And we are not making sacrifices in order to pay school fees. The kids get to go abroad with their schools. We get to go abroad on business. So come 'holiday time' we don't want to hop onto yet another plane.

As for eating 'economy chicken' we buy chicken in bulk from a wholesaler. Just because you like to buy 'posh' chicken from Waitrose doesn't make me penny pinching.

MTS I know we've had tis argument before I will be happy to accept you figures if you break them down I know my maths at times is a bit crap but I just cant £28 000 PA n an income of £80 000 pay. Unless 1 is not on PAYE and therefore not being taxed to to the eyeballs.

Happy - I am not saying that money makes you happy (the happiest guy I know is the guy who cuts my grass and trims my trees and hedges) but to listen to some people talk friends and relations only became grabby and entitled after they got rich

Yup, happy, I really do want to detail my finances on MN for all to see, just to convince you.

MrTGroupie Yup, happy, I really do want to detail my finances on MN for all to see, just to convince you.

Well don't ask others ( me!) to do something you are not willing to do yourself.

I suspect your income is nearer £100K than £80K- why give such a huge range anyway? Or you are self employed and perhaps avoid tax at the full rate. or you are not contributing to a company pension pot and keep more income that way. or you are topping up from your partner's income and just not saying!

You have yet to convince me and others how you support a family of 4 on £500 net a week ( which is left after you pay school fees) if you have anything like the average mortgage, council tax, utilities, fuel, and insurance policies.

I dont think you just need to convince me there are others who are sceptical as well! You don't have to detail your micro expenses just give us a rough idea. I've just done it and once you've paid all your mortgage (£1000 in your case) life insurance car insurance petrols utilities food road tax you know all the essentials you've got about £200 PCM left for a family of 4 and no room for any unexpected bills eg dentist new clutch etc or clothes school uniform etc . I think most people would think that pretty tight.

This was two adults on £80 000 PA one earning £50 000 the other £30 000 both paying PAYE no company car.

MTS - Meet me

Monday- Thursday I work in the offices of a plumbing company. Evenings, Friday until 8pm and Saturdays I work at a children's drama class

Monday- Fruday my husband works as a teacher. Evenings. & weekends he gives private music lessons. Holidays he does freelance workshops.

Multimillionaire and involved

Bella - read the OP it ask how people on £80-£100k can afford to go private. So why are you asking ME why I am giving such a wide range?

Also, I was originally asked to detail my outgoings. I simply flipped things around and asked people to show me why they can't afford it.

The 'funny' thing is that I am not out to convince anyone that THEY can afford to go private. Yet people are keen to convince ME that I can't. :)

We live on £500/week and out of that have to pay school fees. (we have a bursery though) That includes running 2 cars.

Fair enough, MTS, you know best.

Happy - NHS polish and clean once every 9 months (blessed with healthy teeth) Children obviously free so no unexpected bills there.

Uniforms? 2nd hand shop at school for branded stuff. Tesco pack of three blue shirts. Matalan grey trousers.

Clothes? Casual at work so no expensive work clothes to buy. I buy expensive looking but cheap stuff from HK when I'm there on business :)

Car? Car is old and so am I'm. That plus low crime area means house and car insurance is neglible. Car is built to last plus I am a kind driver so no burning tyres at traffic lights and screeching stops either so new tyres every two years plus new disk pads is as bad as it gets most years.

Welcome Derek. Finally, some backup.

We go camping for our holidays though, can't do the foreign holidays