Why on earth would you go state if you could afford private?

[Schmedz]

This thread is for Maisie and happygardening . I like dares!

Arisbottle - some would say you didnt try hard enough and you're a teacher, surely you know what can and cannot be done.

Some say these situations are very rare and the vast majority of schools are more than fit for purpose.

IMHO - you did exactly the right thing!

Your circumstances dicated that what you did was right for you! We have the money to afford private ed so that is right for us having looked around both state and private. Even Seeker who claims that she is totally against selective education knows she has made the right decision. Kent grammars are great! She just wont come out and admit it. FGS - when her DS didnt get into a GS she appealed!

But my DH and I pay large amounts in tax, my DM was a state school teacher. I was state educated as was the rest of my family. But -there is no way I would vote for the Labour party in any way..

Thanks Chazs. It was an awful time and I hope it is all behind us now. I do not know what his original school could have done, I am not blaming ds for his bullying but it has stopped because he has made changes in the way that he deals with people. I love my son but I could understand why other children did not like him.

seeker that sounds dire for your DS.

Is there any chance of moving him elsewhere?

It is all clear now! Grammar schools are not selective, they are setting.
Private schools (who require entrance examinations to be passed and then take the top students from the exam results) ARE selective.

...oops, just re-read seeker's post and have also realised:

Setting (in general) is not selective - is merely choosing children who are working at similar levels so that they can best learn in an environment with other students of similar ability who are likely to work at a similar pace and achievement level and with a similar level of interest.

Now it's clear.

at the reasons seeker comes up to justify her double standards.

I too am in favour of setting. We don't live in a GS area so the set which would suit my DS is in the private school. So I'm guessing that you don't have any problems with that.

I ask again - what is the difference between you and the rest of us apart from the fact we aren't hypocrits?

wordfactory - I think that you are confusing seeker's DS with the poster whose DC was being bullied.

..... Unless you think that it's 'dire' for seeker's DS to go to an academically good school but doesn't have a school orchestra to join.

If it's the latter then I personally would reserve the word 'dire' for scenarios where a kid is being bullied or where the teaching is substandard.

I really hope that totally bs is not at my son being driven to a suicide attempt

Sorry I have misunderstood , an getting a bit touchy now which is exactly why I don't talk about ds on here .

TotallyBS - so your local comprehensive school had very few children working at level 5 and none at level 6 on entry, did it? If that's the case, then yes indeed there is no difference between our situations.

seeker there are plenty of comps like that!

socareless you rent is very cheap we don't even live in the SE and you cant get a one bedroomed flat here for under £550 three beds are pushing £1000. Council tax on three beds here is £150.
Totally maybe I'm being thick here but if you earn £40 000 why do you have £27 000 when when you've paid fees which your saying are £13 000? As far as I'm aware fees are paid from your net salary which would be £32 000 if not less leaving £19 000 to live on or £1500 pcm. I will be delighted to be wrong so please can you beak your figures down then I'll shut up about this.

happy

Depends - some people who are self-employed manage to pay a lot of things from their gross salary, apparently (not me!)...

Yes I know this argument arose on another thread for simplicity I said a couple both earning £20 000 PA each.
Maybe I'm crap at math but I cant make it add up!

In our area we have the grammars, the 'choice' if you dont pass the 11+ is the sec modern.

I have many friends children at the grammar's so know about them. We have money to go private so we have chosen to do that.

But a comp - what are they really like, not ideologist claptrap about what they SHOULD be like but generally. I suspect it will be very much the area, although someone I am sure is going to come on and say that their DS went to a failing one,where knives were common and parents evenings were barren and STILL got 10 A* at GCSE and 4 A's at A'levels and got into Cambridge....

But really, are comp's the way to go? Where all abilities go? No grammars at all.

What I found when looking at the state system for primary was a horrible mess where it seemed they were all lumped into together. When I asked whilst being shown around how the brighter and less able were catered for I was told that the bright 7 year olds helped the less able because the teacher couldnt give her attention to everyone at the same time...

The head was new and clearly didnt know her way around the school and we walked into a couple of cupboards a few times (couldnt she have asked someone to help her!). At sports days apparently they didnt clap the winners, they clapped everyone spectators included. Everyone got a medal regardless of whether they participated or not!

I made a run for it......

Seeker I really don't understand why you feel the need to justify your choice of GS for your (obviously) academically able son or why you seem to argue that grammar schools are undesirable, when clearly without one he would be the only one in his 'set' at the comp.

Some would suggest you should 'have more faith' in him and let him go along to the comp where there are no others like him academically because he is clearly bright and will do well wherever he goes.

Some might even suggest that by sending him to a school which best suits his academic needs you are causing the local comp to suffer because if all the bright students don't attend then it will stay academically poor.

Some might say that by attending a GS - 'apartheid by ability' - you are contributing to non-diversity and intolerance in society, intellectual snobbery, feelings of superiority, or that you are just too 'privileged'.

Clearly all those arguments are nonsense. There should be more grammars so that the issues of super selectives disappear. There are plenty of children working at level 5/6 and above at the end of primary school who STILL narrowly miss out on places at these sorts of grammars. Sadly this doesn't usually mean that they all attend other local comps, as there are no catchment areas for super selective applicants, so you have the situation that these very bright near-miss children are spread few and far between other comps (or they go private with or without scholarships) and don't necessarily form a cosy set in one or two alternative schools.

Please stop feeling guilty for supporting grammar school which is clearly the best place for your son or you wouldn't have sent him there.

Or is it your daughter who is at the grammar? Apologies for the ignorance!
Substitute appropriate noun in above post, please

Are we onto rental costs now... Well I guess in Stoke the rent is cheap and did like the 2nd house!

It does all depend doesnt it on exactly where you are, 4 bed houses are £2500-£3000K per month around here. Complete nonsense but realitity and people are paying that. And of course London - dont even know where to start on that!

Schmedz
For info
Seeke'rs older DD goes to a grammar school, her son recently failed his 11+ and goes to a SM.

gah Seeker's
I do know where apostrophes go, honestly.

maisiejoe123

A real ideological "comp", I think, will never exist because of that thing called postcode lottery... where comps in wealthy areas may do better than others. Went to a US high school for a while that should have been a comp - but it was in the posh side of town, so students were very, very much upper middle class (no, not even 'just' middle class).

It was my favorite of all the schools I've been to though...

I dont think Seeker does feel guility about her Daughter going to a grammar school at all. She tried to get her son in and raised an appeal!

I think she knows which side her bread is buttered. However - she claims to be a socialist so coming on here claiming she hates GS's makes her feel better. She must be a bit of a nightmare around her friends who I am sure are looking at the grammar schools themselves for their kids.

'Dont go for a grammar school, they arent right for society, they select, oh Seeker - what school does your DD go to - answer - a grammar school.......'

Sorry to be somewhat slow but I really dont get this at all....

Someone will come along soon Tasmania and say they went to a school on Special Measures and got straight A's....

Funnily enough Maisie, my friend's DS did exactly that but he really would have learnt anywhere. He is now a doctor ....but am guessing the other potential good students in his year may well have been failed.

I think there are some fabulous schools out there in the State system, My son is in a very nurturing and inclusive mainstream Primary. I cannot put into words how scared I am about secondary level though.

Yeah... and afterwards, they went on to Oxbridge, did an MBA in Harvard, sold a company for billions, and are now setting their sights on the PM role.

This whole I'm a socialist, but not really stuff does remind me a lot of New Labour.