Why on earth would you go state if you could afford private?

[Schmedz]

This thread is for Maisie and happygardening . I like dares!

You can only be risk averse if you are capable of doing a proper risk assessment. People who commit to >18 years fees out of earned income these days are gamblers. Which is the opposite of risk averse. Obviously people who pay fees wholly out of unearned income - inheritance, lottery win, savings, sponging off grandparents, are different. But committing anticipated future income to something really important is a textbook definition of risk taker.

@narked loads of them are. Many of those who go to state schools end up doing better. Badly phrased question.

bulletpoint, I simply think the point is exaggerated if our parents made sacrifices to pay for our education. "We didn't do what our parents did for us but we could have done" .

Lots may be, but lots aren't. And for those DC who are firmly on B s and C s, private can lift them to B s and a couple of A s.

Narked,

The statistics locally seem to say that DS's who are on a par with each other academically at 11 do better at the state comprehensive than they do in the private schools... in fact, given that the private schools are [slightly] selective whereas the state school in question is in fact a secondary modern with the brightest creamed off by the local super-selective grammar, children who are slightly below the private schoool pupils at 11 do better than them at 16 and 18....

"My sense is that quite a few people (who can afford it) privately educate their children because the thought of a "disaster" - however unlikely - in state education would bring on horrible feelings of guilt. "Could we have done better for our child/ren?". This would be particularly strong in parents who were privately educated themselves."

That is definitely a view that I have come across in families I know who privately educate their children.

Where are the stats? I know at the school I attended there were DC who sat the maths paper where you can only get a B and single award science. They all got 9 A* to C and many didn't get any C s.

I think grandparents wouldnt like to be accused of being 'sponged off'. You can give your money to whom ever you like!

Russian - is it ok to have private education if you can afford it without any GP's. lottery wins etc?

Grandparents can choose when to leave their money. It makes more sense to give an advance on inheritance sometimes as that may be when the money can make the most difference and it avoids tax.

I kinda get where grovel is coming from.

DH and I assumed ourDC would go to state school. DH and i did.

Then we visited a prep school on the advice of the nursery owner and after that felt like it would be churlish not to apply, given we had the money. It felt like it would be wrong not to give our DC that, even if in the long run I'm sure they'd have done just fine in state school.

Narked,

I don't paricularly wish to 'out' myself by identifying the schools in question - because as is always clear on these threads, comparing all state schools with all private schools is daft and meaningless. The only sensible comparison is at an individual school for an individual child level, so I would have to give you school by school data.

Grovel - perhaps it depends on who you mix with. In my culture it is ingrained in you from day one, wether you are privately educated or not, you do the best you can for your children, and investing in their education is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Therefore if there is a great state school nearby then by all means go there, but if not and you can afford a good private school AND you decide NOT to send them there, then the guilt forever be on your head if the outcome is dire.

I'm guessing from what you've said this perhaps happens mainly in the quarters of the privately educated in this country.

RussiansOnTheSpree

If that's how you define risk, then no one would get a mortgage to buy a house. It is perfectly fine to save several year's school fees upfront (which you can, if DC starts at state school for the first few years), and then, while the DC is at school, save the rest while he/she is attending the school. Also, there are insurances.

Look at the following risks, and the solutions:

(a) unemployment - But if you have saved up the first few years (let's say 3 years?) of school fees, you give yourself quite a lot of time to find another job. Plus, there is a thing you can get which is called income insurance that provides you with a bit of money while you're unemployed.

(b) death of parent - Hopefully, this will never happen, but again, there is life insurance and school fees insurance which pays when a parent passes away.

(c) loss of income due to illness - Again, there are insurances for this...

Yes, as a parent, you have to assume that you will stay in a well-paid job for quite some time. But the thing is if you can't assume that, then you shouldn't get a mortgage either.

Pus... what do you mean with sponging off grandparents?

They pretty much already lived a pretty good life at the cost of the younger generation!?

Do these threads cause anyone to change their views?

I get the feeling that as the thread "develops" posters become further entrenched in their views, rather than even trying to reach any consensus, or identify common areas of agreement.

Yet, I think each of us would offer support and encouragement to a poster in need. Can't we at least try to find some common ground?

Newferry - "The voice of one crying in the wilderness"

'A voice said 'cry!', and another said 'what shall I cry?' '

"Seeker - Its very sad when we have to get down to floor level to determine not wether 'hooray henry' is offensive or name calling but which one is weightier between 'scrotes' and the later. Very sad indeed, and just sums up the whole attitude towards private education on here."

Bulletpoint-I'm not sure I understand you. I was challenging the statement that there was a lot of private school bashing. I find that when challenged, it usually transpires that there is very little - and what there is, while reprehensible, is mild compared to the routine anti state school comments. The scrotes remark has stayed with me because it was so particularly horrible, but i did take exception to it being glossed over. But all the other examples I came up with were glossed over too.....so hey ho.

@maisiejoe Anyone can spend their money on anything they like, obviously. But it isn't risk averse to commit future income before you have earned it. It's gambling.

What shall I cry?

How about:-
I want my children to be educated in a supportive and encouraging environment, where they can learn to be the best person they can be, while respecting and supporting others to do likewise
I want my DC to achieve educationally so they have choices as they become adults
I do not want my DC to spend their days being undermined or belittled for who they are, or for the dreams they hold

Anyone care to continue?

Have we moved away from private/state to education generally, new ferry, or is your "I want" an argument for for one sector or the other?

RussiansOnTheSpree I am assuming you have no mortgage then?

Seeker-trying to build bridges and find consensus. I think we are better than some of the entrenched views being expressed here.

Hear hear NewFerry!