Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Changes to 11-plus to stop middle-class parents 'buying' access to grammars by hiring tutors

999 replies

breadandbutterfly · 01/12/2012 21:48

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2241411/Changes-11-plus-stop-parents-buying-access-selective-schools-hiring-tutors-children.html

Similar article in the Times apparently but paywall.

OP posts:
Ronaldo · 02/12/2012 12:20

Am I exceptionally wealthy? I dont know,how do you define "exceptionally wealthy"?

Is my lifestyle different to the average state school parents? Therefore will my DS find it difficult to be seen as like them?

Well, put in a nutshell. I have a home in Canade as well as here in the UK. My DW is Canadian and my DS has duel nationality. I doubt that is "normal" in state schools.

We travel to Canada several times a year. I dont suppose that is normal for state school. It is normal in many independent schools.

My previous occupation is likely to make me different. I am also older - doubt many state school kids have a dad like me. Independent schools, I am not that uncommon.

My DW has also had a good education and is musically gifted and has been career led that way. DS plays the piano quite exceptionally well ( may not be common in state schools either).

He is also bi lingual - alkthough both DW and I are actually English speakers.

We all speak RP. We sound "funny" we make people have incontenence.

He is intelligent by any measure ( not PC on MN), so another feature to make him an obvious target for bullies in state schools (not so much in independent ones). He is also gifted at maths.

I and my DW are married and live together...... is that unusual too these days?

We live in a decent middle class house in a small hamlet in SE England
(middle Englander country). We have a study and library and a collection of books. We all read. We all write.

We have two cars here. We have a car in Canada as well.

We have dinner, go to the loo, eat meals together at a table usually, say please and thank you always. We wash daily and wear clean clothes and are well groomed. I get my hair cut at a barbers every six weeks.

We do not swear except under our breath or privately.

I woiuld rather take my DW to dinner and a good ballet than I would to a pop concert and show her a good time with fish and chips afterwards ( although we do get F&C on a Friday night sometimes).

I own a DJ ( thats Dinner Jacket).

We listen to classical music ( played by my DW often or by my DS sometimes). We have a collection of classical music too.

I have about three modern pop records - from the 1960's!

We value a good education. We do not break the law. We stand up for what we believe.

We ride, I play golf, we dance sometimes but we do not have animlas because we go away too often. We do have a cat.

I love my DW.

Just ordinary. Thats a snapshot. Go on laugh. But the finallaugh is on you because you fail to realise how important those things may be in the future. So children need to mix with all kids - how are your state educated children ever going to meet people like those who run governments or big business in your state schools?

I may disadvantage my DS by being an oldie and a bit eccentric and having some avant - garde and names not to be dropped lightly friends and being middle class. The least I can do is ensure he mixes with people like us as far as possible.

Ronaldo · 02/12/2012 12:21

Lots of very bright children manage to be successful in state schools

Do they? Really? There is success and SUCCESS.

tilder · 02/12/2012 12:26

Ronaldo, just curious, but what would you define as SUCCESS.

Firelighters · 02/12/2012 12:35

"I think kids at private primaries should be banned completely from going to state grammar schools"

Drop their tax as a consequence and a lot wouldn't mind.

GlitKnit · 02/12/2012 12:37

Ronaldo you sound like a cock.

rainbowinthesky · 02/12/2012 12:37

Ronaldo - I hate to say this but your list is not so dissimilar to a list I would write or many of the parents of other state educated children. I was expecting something very out of the ordinary and your list simply wasn't. We aren't going to Canada this year for Christmas but will be next Christmas.

rainbowinthesky · 02/12/2012 12:39

You have a rather strange view of how families in state schools live.

Ronaldo · 02/12/2012 12:40

Someone who has an entry in who's who.

rabbitstew · 02/12/2012 12:42

Ronaldo - your post about what you think would be unusual and make you out of place in state schools just makes you sound utterly ignorant. What sort of state schools did you actually teach in?! Did you once have a missionary zeal and deliberately seek out the worst performing state schools in the roughest areas?... Fwiw, my dh was privately educated and I was state educated and I fit better with your mad list than he does. Personal taste is personal taste, you don't have to go to the "right" school to develop it unless you are a pathetically weak individual with no mind of your own and no family to set any kind of example for you.

Ronaldo · 02/12/2012 12:42

As I said Painbow, there are not so many differences - I am an ordinary bloke.

But because of afew of the things I mentioned above, I wont be putting my DS in a state school. Ifyou choose to , thats up to you. Clearly there are differences there - maybe I havent mentioned them?

GlitKnit · 02/12/2012 12:42

Ronaldo has No clue about anything apart from his own little world where what he does is right.

He needs to do some work with people from wealthier and poorer backgrounds to realize what a smug twat what a blinkered and bigoted view he has.

Ronaldo · 02/12/2012 12:43

I shpuld have added above I love my DS and my DW and they are the best things that have ever happened to me in my life and I will do everything I can for them

GlitKnit · 02/12/2012 12:43

My sons state school got the top in the league tables for the new eBac.

It outstripped most private schools.

Poor son. Poor boy. ;)

rainbowinthesky · 02/12/2012 12:44

I'm leaving this thread as I think you are using it as a platform to elevate yourself and I just can't respond in the way you expect i.e. look up to you with awe and wonder at your brilliance as you're just not doing it for me.

GlitKnit · 02/12/2012 12:44

My nephews state school sends SIXTEEN to Oxbridge every year
Even to study medicine etc.

Poor nephew

rabbitstew · 02/12/2012 12:45

I fail to see how your approach to your ds is going to make him a SUCCESS rather than a success, though, Ronaldo. I can see your ds becoming a minor academic, but I'm not sure you are going all out to groom him for SUCCESS, for which you need a thicker hide than the one you appear to have.

Ronaldo · 02/12/2012 12:47

I have worked in state schools, I know exactly what they are like. Yes I am being snobbish - so what. I dont value the cultiure of state schooling.

I can just imagine what would happen if my DS goes to school and says to your rainbow or mintyy or any one of you " XXXX (famous top politician or composer or author ) came to dinner last night or stayed the weekend or we went to theirs "...... how you would react.

Ronaldo · 02/12/2012 12:48

I do not think my approach will make him a SUCCESS rabbitstew but it will give him the best chance of making it if he has the ability.

You see, itsreally about what I havent said - about who we go to school with, who we mix with. I believe the modern parlance is networking.

GlitKnit · 02/12/2012 12:49

And how will he network with normal people when he works?
Is he like little lord Fauntleroy ?

BoffinMum · 02/12/2012 12:50

Ronaldo, I've actually worked in the prep school sector and pulled one of my children out of it as a consequence, as the education was far too snobby.

I speak as someone who went to prep schoo herself and public school. Independent education is a lot snobbier than it was, to its detriment.

Arisbottle · 02/12/2012 12:50

Ronaldo I an sorry but you are quite ordinary. Increasingly families have dual nationality , they travel , lots of couples are married and own their own home . Lots of husbands and wives play gold and I suspect we all read.

The only thing that sets you apart is the fact that that you think you are better than anyone else.

Ronaldo · 02/12/2012 12:50

I can do better than that GL - we had 20 who went to Cambridge Colleges this year and around a 1/3 of the year who went to Oxford. Private education. Not many went elsewhere.

PolkadotCircus · 02/12/2012 12:50

Why Firelighters?In a civilised society most people pay for benefits they never use.

State grammar schools were designed for state pupils not wealthy private pupils with parents hoping to save on school fees.If you buy out of the state system you're out end of.

It's fundamentally wrong for privately educated kids who have experienced an education the vast majority could never afford to steal places from the state children grammar schools were designed for.

Personally I think parents who do this should be ashamed,it's wrong,wrong,wrong.

rainbowinthesky · 02/12/2012 12:51

Coming back for a moment - I would ask who especially if a politician as pil was an MP (in another country) and travelled the world meeting other VIP people as part of his work on human rights. DH continues to work on human rights when he is not working at his day job and mixes with a lot of MPs because of this. Oh and DH also went to v expensive boarding school in another country whilst I went to a comp yet earn double his wage.

Ronaldo · 02/12/2012 12:51

Arisbottle its all in that thought though isnt it?