I think I do want to understand you seeker. so I'll take post 13:41 sentence by sentence.
"I'm obviously not expressing myself properly. In grammar school areas, there is no non selective education- you are either selected for grammar or high school
I think I get that why you think people are been selected.
"In comprehensive areas, the children who would have gone to grammar school go into the top sets and do as well as the would in a grammar school"".
Are you sure about that? We do not have any grammer school in my county, the best comp in my area was no 554 on GCSE league table, the nearest private in another county was no 46 on same league table.
In the state school league table for A levels, the nearest grammer also in another county was no 6 for girls and 54 for boys for A levels - the comp was 224 for A levels.
The difference is that those top sets and what is taught and learnt in them is available to the other 77%. it's not about your child being a role model. It's about the opportunities that your child has at school being available. If you can't see it, there's no way of you finding out whether you want it or not!
No, I don't get this point at all. I give up.