I send my child to private school because....?

[jabed]

Well, I don?t actually, I just work in one. But it seems to be a constant source of questioning on MN and given the current news articles (I have been reading the DM and Tory graph online) about how many of our left wing leaders hypocritically claim to be egalitarian and socialist whilst buying education for their children , or have had education paid for by their own parents. I just wondered, what is it we expect from education, and why is it some of us are willing to pay for whatever that is and how they see that as worthy of their money.

There you go. :)

Since the majority of posters who disagree with your viewpoint are also saying that the post should not have been removed I think you are whistling in the wind somewhat, jabed.

However, clearly it offended/upset someone, and MNHQ reacted hastily accordingly.

What annoys me is that people could walk away with the impression that Xenia, Jabed and Sohia somehow represent anything close to a "typical" parent who chooses an independent school. That is not my experience at all whatsoever.

Well Jabed, since many other people have provided multiple (verifiable) definitions from reputable sources including Oxford dictionaries that prove you wrong please do go ahead and have your 'full scale argument'. I'd be intrigued to see why you think you have a leg to stand on.

"I would argue with you, but my Mummy MNHQ won't let me" - equates directly to "I cannot put a coherent and logical argument together without resorting to personal attacks" surely - because what else would you have to fear?

@stealth I certainly don't think Sohia is a typical private school parent. Xenia is much closer to my experience and that's fine - she is right about many things and as for the things she is wrong about - at least she is generally entertainingly wrong. The vast majority of my colleagues are private school parents (although almost all of them would send their kids to my DD1's school if they lived close enough - including the several who have their kids at Habs - because their one common defining characteristic is being prudent ) They are all nice. All the private school parents and teachers (and headmasters) I know IRL are really nice. It's just some of the ones on here who are a bit.....odd. As for Jabed - I don't believe anything 'he' types, to be honest. Too many inconsistencies and improbabilities.

LOL at "generally entertainingly wrong" - that she certainly is (and consistent, too, to be fair).

I do not think sohia said anything terrible. I suspect the way she expressed it was what cost her. Unlike Xenia and me, she doesn?t have the ability to skirt issues. I wonder why that is? A failing of the state education perhaps? She shot it straight and expresed strong views and MNers are intolerant. Bigoted even? :)

As I said previously, I may not agree with you but I will defend to the death your right to express your opinion no matter what. It?s called free speech.

You can think what you like metabilis. I have my opinions of you too. I am just too polite to express them.

Why is Sohia's inability to skirt issues a failing of the state education system, Jabed? You were state educated too, were you not?

It is not a question of the thought police. No-one's right to their opinions is being challenged. But MN is a community which has a large number of parents of children with SN and with SN themsleves and, in my view, a very honourable tradition of not only tolerating but supporting that particular group. As such I think it is entirely appropriate for people who do not uphold that particular tradition - who have plenty of other places to go to join those who think, if think is the word I want, like them - to find themselves excluded.
This is a welcome refuge from a very intolerant world for people like me and I am grateful to MNHQ for acting to ensure it remains so.
And as the sun is over the yardarm, I propose to now toast them with a very large G&T.

Why is Sohia's inability to skirt issues a failing of the state education system, Jabed? You were state educated too, were you not?

Yes in part, and I may once have had some of the same failings. I am much older (I imagine) and have had a much broader education.

I have not read back but the gist was that most of us don't want chidlren who disrupt our children in class. I am not sure Sohia said any more than that and most of us would agree with that. As I said above if that is caused by a naughty childre or one brought up badly or one with AHD or whatever it is it doesn't matter. Those children will not be in class with mine as mine need to learn. if I had a child who was disruptive in class I woudl not want it in a class ruining the education of others. YOu can't generalise about special needs - my oldest is very bright, in her first job on £60k etc did well at school but slightly dyslexic. That is not something that disrupted anyone's education, to have her amongst them. Other conditions do that have effect and indeed children with needs no more special than requiring a parent to tell them off at home who has neverh ad that can be difficult in class too. I am needs blind as it were to this issue - if they disrupt they need to be out on their ear (and indeed out and into an environment where they can learn without disturbing others).

There is a very interesting debate to be had with parents of special needs though. I would imagine most of us are sympathetic to their concerns but rarely does censorship do much good. Of course we all now want to know what was censored. I presume parents with chidlren with special needs do not want any other children in the class room with theirs who stop them learning too. The issue of disruption is separate from that of whether there be a special need or not.

My own preference is that my chidlren be segregated from children with an iIQ below 120 or whatever the most acdemic schools use and to be in single sex schools (the old grammar school stuff which nowadays you have to pay for). So I am paying to ensure they are educated with other children the few others who have their level of IQ. It works very well.

Jabed I swear you would argue black was white.

On the issue of receieved pronunciation. O too want my DS to be well spoken and use what we used to call "BBC English". I speak that way. My DW has some transatlantic accent but its refined. Why should we not want our DS to do the same? I do not want my DS being taught to speak with an accent.
In fact I do not really like accents. As you get older I can tell you that mild hearing loss is inevitable. Its not that one cannot hear, its that sometimes accented words are muffledand you mis hear - very badly sometimes. I know I find this with the TV now.

RP is clear, that is the reason for using it. Of course it also has social advantages and I do not think that those can be denied, no matter how one tries. It is about perception at the end of the day - how we see people, make assessments of them, and speech is part of that.

I have not read back but the gist was that most of us don't want chidlren who disrupt our children in class. I am not sure Sohia said any more than that and most of us would agree with that

That was exactly what I read her as saying too Xenia. I would also agree with it.

sorry Received Pronunciation..... etc. Typos . Time to give up the keyboard.

No she said effectively that she didn't want her children mixing with 'SN children'. She talked about resource allocation rather than disruption. And then she made that blanket statement. So, Xenia, she wouldn't want her DCs mixing with your Dyslexic DD, for example.

Then you both missed the deleted post Jabed

I am needs blind as it were to this issue - if they disrupt they need to be out on their ear (and indeed out and into an environment where they can learn without disturbing others).

Steady on there Xenia! I agree with you. I too am needs blind. But this is precisely the ground that seems to cause such offence to some.

I don't think anyone here has supported the right of any child to disrupt the education of others.

Xenia - what do you think should happen to said disruptive children?

And what if said disruptive children have an IQ higher than your child?

I'd really like to know what you think about those two points?

There is a very interesting debate to be had with parents of special needs though. I would imagine most of us are sympathetic to their concerns but rarely does censorship do much good

I agree again, but we need to be careful how we say this. I took my own DS out of a school because I felt the issues there were disadvantaging my DS 's learning environment and I didnt like it. But as I said I took my DC out.

Ah it was mixing with 'SN children'.

I think she meant though just in the class. I doubt she meant their mere presence might cause some infection or difficulty. Most private schools at secondary level actively encourage teenagers to be involved with people with disabilities and the elderly as one alternative if you're not in the CCF.

It is certainly an issue even SN parents debate - whether they want inclusion or special provision and it pretty much depends on the disbaility and the child as to which will be right.

I don't think I or my daughter would have any problems with anyone not wanting to associate with us whether it's because we speak with received pronunciation, are too short or whatever the objection might be. I've never really understood the argument of state school parents that it would be some massive favour and benefit if my little darlings were educated amongst them as if they have some kind of shiny glow which will improve the state sector if I had deigned to allow my off spring to mingle with the proletariat.

I think the crux of it is that certain posters (yet again) do not think those children with SN should be mingling with those who have an extremely high IQ. They are too disruptive.

Wait until your privately educated children get out into the real world and have to mingle with all walks of life - that's when they really learn what life is all about!

Private schools can expel children easily. My TA's child was expelled from one - he was out within days of his offence. Subsequently, he was 'relegated' to an education at the local state school.
The private school HT only has to inform the parents that their child isn't welcome anymore and then s/he washes his hands of the whole situation.

Not quite the same as a state school, as the state is obliged to provide an education.

lovechoc Michael Gove's pronouncements illustrate the fact that he's never had to mingle with anyone with an IQ less than 120. Nothing he says ever acknowledges that there are less academically able individuals within our society.