I send my child to private school because....?

[jabed]

Well, I don?t actually, I just work in one. But it seems to be a constant source of questioning on MN and given the current news articles (I have been reading the DM and Tory graph online) about how many of our left wing leaders hypocritically claim to be egalitarian and socialist whilst buying education for their children , or have had education paid for by their own parents. I just wondered, what is it we expect from education, and why is it some of us are willing to pay for whatever that is and how they see that as worthy of their money.

There you go. :)

Happygardening. Some state schools are equally as good and some indies are equally as bad. Yes there is a tendancy for parents to believe that private is better but not necessarily. It certainly isn't better for my dd, although I believe we should have sent ds2 as he didn't reach potential in his school at all. Ds1 went to local sink comp and completely reached his full potential and would not have done any better if he'd have gone private.

morethanpotatoprints - would you tell me more via PM about your schooling provision? Really really interested .

Happygardening - just because it is the opinion of a number of MN posters doesn't make it true. I am not under any misapprehensions, I simply CHOOSE to use state education. I am very happy Witt my DC's school, as are they. I cannot think of a single thing they are missing out on by not attending a private school.

I perfectly happy to accept that you, and others like you CHOOSE to send DCs to private schools. I am not particularly interested in why you do so and do not appreciate any kind of implication that my opinion, or my choice, is wrong.

Where have I said that I am a private school hater?!
I specifically said that I was going to send DS1 to a private school when we lived in an11+ area and although he was only 7 yrs I had looked into it thoroughly and chosen the school. It was a lovely one for secondary and I would gladly have sent all 3 there, if I could have afforded it. As it was we moved and state schools were the first priority. I then looked into it for DS2 in year 7 but I didn't like the local independent school ( the private sector are not all good!) but before I looked further afield the school met his needs.
My nephew has been privately educated from 3 yrs old to having just done his A'levels and although some things have impressed me, e.g. He plays a sport at county level - at the end of the day he hasn't done any better than my DCs and it has certainly cost - he is an only child which helps.
I am all for choice, I think it sad that 93% don't get a full choice.
I am anti the grammar school system and had no intention of my DCs going to a secondary modern and it would have been deeply hypocritical to send them to a grammar school. I am fully aware that I paid for an excellent comprehensive with my house so it would be hypocritical to say that people shouldn't pay school fees!

"Seeker there is a lot more than private education that perpetuates class division. Besides I think anyone born in this country is born privileged"

I agree about there being more than education perpetuating class division. But this thread is about education!

And I agree that everyone born in this country is born privileged. But some are more privileged than others. And it's alwqys the same people who get the privilege.

Iyatoda- out of intest, what did you want from your children's school that you couldn't get?

Sadly, I can't clam credit for the muddied oafs quote. Wish I could.

Pianomama- aree you actually interested in engaging in any sort of sensible debate or not?

Jabed you must be rubbing your hands in glee at the can of worms you have opened here...

No glee at all. Not as I think it has proved to be a can of worms. I am enjoying reading posters replies. I feel many of the things said do ring with me in many ways. For example I agree with the comments of others that suggest they have chosen private education following their own negative experiences of state schools. That they wanted something different for their own DC's. That is certainly true of me . I know even as a 14 year old young boy I promised myself that no child of mine would suffer as I suffered.

IMO there is only one valid answer to this - "because I choose to". (I choose not to, btw, though we can afford it)

Only valid because it is measurable? But I do not think that is what I asked and at the end of the day a choice is based on some form of reasoning
(rational or not). I am interested in reading about that reasoning. The choice is self evident.

I am heartened that posters who have chosen the private school route have felt able to speak freely on this thread.
Its certainly focussed my own thinking. Thanks.

No, Jabed, only valid because it is purely a matter of opinion. Others could argue until they lose their voices that independent is 100% better than state and it wouldn't change my opinion. Naturally, it works the other way too, and that is absolutely fine.

I find it odd that so many people feel that they have to argue so vehemently in order to justify their choice. Surely it's no one else's concern?

I do think that of all the reasons to choose private education, the parent's experience of state education is probably the least valid. Many older adults experience of private education is far from positive. Education in both sectors has changed out of all recognition in the past 30 years- and I would hate to think that any child now would experience the brutality that many children in catholic schools experienced in the past.

OSN - thank you for that - I misread it as muddied oars, which now I think about it doesn't really make sense as oars don't get muddy normally!

I find it odd that so many people feel that they have to argue so vehemently in order to justify their choice. Surely it's no one else's concern?

I don?t see posters arguing vehemently here (except for a few who are anti private schools on principle maybe). The majority have addressed the question, which did invite opinions and reasons and feelings. I hope no one has felt the need to justify themselves in any way beyond reasoning their choice. From what I have read that has been the case.

I suppose it is no ones concern. I asked the question. I am happy posters took the time to reply. They did not have to justify themselves. I asked for opinions only. No one should feel pressured into contributing or defending their contribution IMO unless they wish to do so, and then we should be respectful of each other I think. Largely I hope that has been achieved here.

Seeker

I wanted regular homework, but currently 1 week you see them and 8 weeks you don't

I was rather disappointed to learn/discover that they only bring their work books at year end. Would be useful if they brought home everyday what they did.

No timetable of what they did. Only told pe was on tuesdays.

Consistency in approach. I am having keyboard trouble will leave for now.

iyatoda I was rather disappointed to learn/discover that they only bring their work books at year end. Would be useful if they brought home everyday what they did.

Yeah, brilliant idea. So the next day, half the class have forgotten their books.
Umm.... parents are allowed in to schools to look at books.

You really sound quite controlling, iyatoda. Why on earth would you want to know what your dc had done everyday? Perhaps they didn't record that day. Perhaps the teacher needs to take in the books to mark them after school.

Anyway, each day is part of a learning process, not an end itself.

And.... you could have asked for a timetable.

I think that most adults are coloured by their own experience of education as a child. I failed 11+ and therefore I am an ardent supporter of (good) comprehensive education. My nephew is privately educated because that is his parents response to failing 11+. I know quite a few people who went to boarding school and are adamant that their DC wil go to a day school. I know a few who were privately educated and wanted their DCs to be state educated and I know a great many more who were privately educated but can't afford it for their own children. I know some who hated the whole thing and HE. I know some who have done very well at both state and private and those who have done nothing much from either. I even know some who send their DCs to their old school.
We do what we think best. The whole system is unfair - and always will be.

I also know quite a few who have children in state and private, at the same time, and those who use both at different times. People make it sound as though it is a divide and you have to be on one side or another, instead of a foot planted firmly on both sides.

Blimey exotic. You know lots of people.

iyatoda, can you explain why you'd want to see a workbook everyday?

Maybe the teacher doesn't want the rigidity of a timetable. Taking books home would be an utter nightmare - it is bad enough getting the homework books in on time.

I am quite old and have lived in lots of places.

A lot are just acquaintances.

I also know teachers in the private sector and some of their stories are quite off putting!

iyatoda - I am on it with you. I want to see them doing homeworks, everyday, not 20 mins a week colouring something in. I want to know what they learn,what they read and what they think about it.

Have you thought of just asking them?

seeker - what would you like to discuss? I already posted my reply ..

What exotic said.

WHY do you want to see them doing homework every day? Are they not allowed to just be children? To relax, read for pleasure, play?