I send my child to private school because....?

[jabed]

Well, I don?t actually, I just work in one. But it seems to be a constant source of questioning on MN and given the current news articles (I have been reading the DM and Tory graph online) about how many of our left wing leaders hypocritically claim to be egalitarian and socialist whilst buying education for their children , or have had education paid for by their own parents. I just wondered, what is it we expect from education, and why is it some of us are willing to pay for whatever that is and how they see that as worthy of their money.

There you go. :)

I suppose the logic went roughly as follows:

1. I wanted to do the best I could for my dc.
2. I judged that to be private school having looked at the options locally (that didn't involve moving).
3. I wasn't aware at the time what a contentious issue it was.
4. Even now I am, I would probably do the same.

StarBallBunny you cannot tar all children educated in independent schools with the same brush because of a few ridiculous politicians. I who work with Joe Public meet many who are completely out of touch with the real world and in particular those scraping to make ends meets who've never even heard of the Wall Game let alone played it. Most are products of the state system that so many rave on about I am shocked by the uninformed prejudices of the average man walking down the street to the homeless, "Mercs round the back" immigrants "terrorists" and those living in severe poverty "benefit scroungers and cheats".

I dont really care what people think they get out of the educational choices they make for their children so long as they don delude themselves that the privileges they buy along the way make them or their children better people.

Gnome Is it more a case of some people deluding themselves that those in private education delude themselves that they are better people ?

happy £33000 a year is a lot of money . I wonder how that is distributed between buildings, staff, resources, admin, etc.

TBH in primary ed, I don't think small class sizes are important, so I could keep staffing costs low. And our buildings and grounds probably don't need as much upkeep as most private schools... so that could be kept to a minimum. So I think I could make savings on your fees by keeping the status quo.

All I'd need to do is organise a national programme of sport and music, provided by experts! Stopping the funding of un-winnable wars sounds like a good idea. Needless interference by education consultants, curriculum reviews, resource changes, exam re-printing, overpaid Ofsted inspectors, superheads, etc would save a fortune. The Olympics (oh no, can't stop that now). Bank regulation. Enforced 'philanthropy' from sacked business chiefs. I don't know - there's so much waste everywhere and we forget that the children are our future.

Its the staffing costs that must take up a large amount of the wages I think we have there is a ratio of 7 boys for every one teachers! The facilities/recourses of course are superb the buildings medieval must cost a bit to maintain. "Needless interference by education consultants, curriculum reviews, resource changes, exam re-printing, overpaid Ofsted inspectors, superheads, etc would save a fortune.
Bank regulation. Enforced 'philanthropy' from sacked business chiefs."
I doubt you would generate enough money to give that much more to every school in the UK, Paying more taxes/council tax stopping unwinable wars or reducing our dependence on oil might.

Pianomama I dont think that the delusion is common though I have been told a couple of times that if I made more sacrifices then I could send my children to a 'better' school. The implication being that these sacrifices are a 'good thing' rather than simply lifestyle choices.

On the whole it does simply come down to that, lifestyle choices.

When we had the choice to send the DCs to a private school with someone else paying the fee (my employer), we chose not to as we wanted the DCs to attend the local school and integrate into our new home town. Ultimately it was a lifestyle choice.

I think the honest and straightforward answer is because I did, my husband did, my parents did; because we can; and because they are happy and achieving lots....

Also, can I just say how much I love it when someone gets Xenia out onto a thread, so thank you jabed.

Oh and I meant to say in response to
"organise a national programme of sport and music, provided by experts!" sports programme would have to have facilities every school would need a swimming pool squash court fives court dojo 15 rugby pitches stables menages etc whose paying for that?
And what about those who want to be astronomers where the observatory? Or two theatres for the budding thespian and 35 practice rooms and a couple of concert hall for the talented musician ? Its a lovely idea flexybeck but completely unrealistic I'm afraid you'd have to significantly increase peoples taxes to pay for it and then there would be riots on the streets. Those of us who are able to send our children to such school are frequently labelled as "selfish" by others on MN but I can assure you if people were told that their taxes were being increased to 45p in the pound to pay for improved education for all then we wouldn't be the only ones who appear selfish.

Pianomama- are you seriously saying that my belief that if you are a member of, say, a school, you should take a full part in the life of that school is tantount to a totalitarian regime?

I think she might be, seeker . Which moves me to actually post (rather than just think) that although we have very different views and have made very different choices for our DC, I do recognise that your views and choices are based on strongly held principles and nothing else, and I respect you for that.

I know it's unrealistic and inequality is a sad fact of life. As average family income is around £21500 (and dropping, year on year), few people can aspire to send their children to private centres of excellence.

I do feel a tiny bit miffed that most of us are deprived of all the things you mention just because of our birthright - all that untapped potential and wasted talent. (If 7% of the population produce 50% of our Olympic team, just imagine what the other 97% could do, given the opportunity.)

I think I'll move to Lithuania where they haven't even heard of private schools, and people pay for university based on their exam results.

Gnome - I know what you mean. I have been told lots of times that I shouldnt spend money on school fees by people who I work with for example, i.e.with similar incomes and opportunities available to them. They are happy to boast about heir brand new cars, new kitchens , house extensions and expensive holidays and yet they feel free to openly diapprove of how I spend my money. May be they suspect that I delude myself/my DC of being "better then them" .
I don't. My DC don't. In fact, we do not divide people into goodies or badies.
It is exactly what you say - a lifestyle choice. Small house, old cars and cheap holidays/expensive schools for us. So what ? We are all different.

"I do feel a tiny bit miffed that most of us are deprived of all the things you mention just because of our birthright"
Although I do accept that birthright definitely plays apart we are the from average middle class back grounds nothing flash by any stretch of the imagination, luck also plays a part being in the right place at the right time making decisions which with hindsight have turned out to be very beneficial even if they didn't appear that way at the time and unfortunately this is outside of anyones control. I just want to add I know I've said it loads of times before that many of the top school do offer generous bursaries Eton Winchester St Pauls (I only do boys schools) are all moving or have moved towards open access needs blind admissions. Obviously this does not open up this kind of education to all but it does enable some who would not in the normal run of the thing have a chance of experiencing it.

Ah, well, I send my children to state schools because I am quite happy to sacrifice their wants and needs to my overriding Stalinist principles. They cry every night, obviously, and DD1 has only just learned to read Biff and Chipper very basic books at the end of Y6, but it's worth it.

Yep seeker - its your drive to want to sarcifice individual for the abstract common good and the aim to bring up everyone as "robust and all-rounded" because it is what society needs sounds very much like what totalitarian regimes are very good at.

I am beginning to feel that it is not going to work out between us after all.
Sorry - its not you, its me..

I thought public schools were all about jolly all-roundedness and Play Up Play Up and Play the Game?

pianomama I have been told lots of times that I shouldnt spend money on school fees by people who I work with for example, i.e.with similar incomes and opportunities available to them. They are happy to boast about heir brand new cars, new kitchens , house extensions and expensive holidays ...'

piano.... the average family income is £21500. That is £413 per week. Out of that, people have to pay utility services, food, transport, clothing, essentials (e.g. tampons, toothpaste, shampoo). Hardly sufficient to buy brand new cars, house extensions and expensive holidays.

You sound like some of our politicians - living on another planet.

happy you and I can afford not to have those working class prejudices.

For many looking for scapegoats, in those on benefits, of different races or even with learning difficulties is a survival mechanism. They are desperate to feel better than someone else. It boasts their self esteem.

It is wrong, but it is how a section of society survives.

I have a dyslexic DD who was bullied horribly by on particular boy. When he did it out of school I gave him a mouthful.

His main carer was furious, but the upshot of her argument seemed to boil down to the fact that DD is a bit eccentric and deserved to be bullied

flexybex - I dont think I live on another planet. I am in a professional job , the one you would expect to get with an avarage uni degree after some years of experience in the industry. Nothing like Xenia mentioned - i.e. no private islands .
x2 obviously as I am lucky to have DH who works on a similar level.

flexybex my DH works for multi millionaires and he will tell you that they are getting richer and richer whilst those at the bottom are getting poorer and poorer that is the nature of the society we now live in. Just like pointless unwinable wars I'm unconvinced that anyone has the muscle to do anything about it. My DH feels that if this goes on there will be riots but so many in the UK just seem to accept their lot and buy more lottery tickets in the hope that they will win something. I do not know what the future holds but I suspect for many not having access to music practice rooms and good sporting facilities are the least of their problems.

StarBallBunny maybe its just the people I work with (all upper working class/middle-class so called professionals) or maybe where I live smalltownsville but I'm shocked by how narrow minded and racist people are especially towards 1st generation immigrants and how critical they are of people who they perceive are scrounging off the state. They've swallowed the outrageous propaganda in that bloody Mail hook line and sinker!

piano You used an example of 'people you work with.. with similar incomes' to illustrate the 'life-style choice'. They choose expensive holidays: you choose private school. All well and good.

However, for the average wage-earner on £21500pa, state school isn't a life-style choice, and their children - in your opinion - are not getting the opportunities your dc have at private school. If they were, poco-pianos would be joining them at St Chav's Academy of Excellence.

Schooling is only a life-style choice for those with enough money to make the choice.

happy I think sometimes dreams (i.e. lottery tickets) come to an end and reality will kick in. Not sure about riots, but a charismatic leader could have quite an impact.

Pianomama- you quoted me from another thread. In the interest of balance, I need to say that my comment there did not refer to my desire for a totalitarian state, but was in response to your wish to protect your musical child from the "muddied oars and the flanneled fools", and your assertion that most ( or was it many? Can't remember) musical children don't enjoy sport and should not be made to take part in it.

::Puts on hard hat and prepares to be flamed::

Any DC's of mine will be going to a private school, because I've taught in the majority of the schools in this area (supply) and know what goes on behind closed doors and I can (fortunately) vote with my feet and bank balance.