Calling any mums who have been through the trauma of DC leaving their much loved boarding prep - help!

[SoggySummer]

13yo DD left her much loved boarding prep school earlier this week.

As expected there were many tears amongst her and her friends on the final day.

Yesterday she went to sleepover leaving party and came home this morning. So probably is very tired as well.

Just after tea she was sullen and rude about something to do with her new senior school. I was sympathetic and as supportive as I could be as I suppose its understandable as she is so down about leaving her prep school.

The harsh reality is that because her prep was a full boarding school the pupils came from far and wide and some are unlikely to ever see each other again.

She is the only one from her prep going onto her next school but thats the case for most of her friends. She is being so negative about her next school its worrying me. Obviously this is day 1 and leaving her prep is still raw for her but she is worrying me because she is being so rude about her next school and saying the friends wont be the same (which they wont be initially), the school cant offer any more as her prep did everything blah blah blah. I have tried to explain friendships dont happen overnight and she was not keen on some the kids that became her closest friends by the end of her prep school and that may be the case at her new school but she isn't having any of it.

She is normally such a bright happy go lucky, open perceptive and postive girl its quite a shock to see her like this. Sullen is just not her - but she is just that right now.

She has cried alot today and spent the day attached to her mobile and facebook, sharing pics of their recent leavers trip and events etc etc.

Please someone who has been here before - who knows how hard this is tell me it will be OK. It has been (even for me) a very emotional week and I am now sat here in tears (DD in bed). Am so worried about DD and September. To make matters worse DH is about to deploy for 7 months so I will be coping with this alone.

Please can some one talk me through this - someone must have been here before.

Obviously it does. Wealth would be redistributed equally. 25% of the population wouldn't hold 75% of the wealth.
It's ok to say that's life, cos it is. but some people want change, for the better. And things do change they have before and they can again.

krumbum you spout utter bollocks.
suggest you study agricultural productivity in the former ussr in the 70s
DH and I pay more than £75 000 tax/year, every year
If wealth was redistributed and we did not benefit from our stupidly long hours then we wouldn't do it, so we would earn a lot less, so the exchequer would suffer, multiply by many higher earners and there would be even less available than now for benefits and the less well off.
Note - we do not resent paying our taxes, we do resent unpleasant and unkind comments like yours.

How would wealth be redistributed? The super wealthy have power and influence they cannot be made to give up their wealth this is not the Russian revolution. The rich will move to another country they will find other places to educate their children they are not inhibited by countries boarders in the way that the poor less wealthy are they many have home yachts palaces and connections all over the world. They will find other are happy to provide the schooling they want and are happy to pay large amounts for it there are plenty of ambitious entrepreneurs of would set up the education that the super rich want in India or China. Wake up Krumbum we live in a globalised world.
Even the Chinese have discovered you need a socialist ethos underpinned by a capitalist economy.

I understand that your situation is different (and quite possibly more emotional) because your DD was a boarder whereas mine were at day schools. But I do know that while the summer holidays were tough and the kids were snappy and anxious towards the end, once they started in September they never looked back. And I'm absolutely sure it will be the same for your DD.

Firstly a government could stop people move abroad.
The idea that someone who earns a thousand times more works a thousand harder isn't true. Many people work long hours doing jobs that take a lot of education to be able to achieve and dont expect to be super rich, so that's just a fallacy.
Revolutions do happen. 2 happened last year.

I think you should start your own thread, Krumbum, and then people need only read it if they wish to. It has nothing to do with OP and seems to have no knowledge of history.

Just because something has been done badly in the past doesn't mean it couldn't be done properly in the future.
I'm only answering what posters are asking me.

Yes if we live in a dictatorship governments could stop people moving abroad or we could follow the example of the Russian peasants and shoot them and their children or we could imprison them like Stalin or perhaps follow Maos example and imprison those who don't share our views. Then of course Hitler killed those who he didn't like as did Pol Pot and let's not forget the tragedies in Rwanda the DRC or Darfour. I would love to have lived/live in one of those countries where fantastic education and health care of the highest standard are free for all and of course free of any corruption. I'm sure the majority of MNetters would also want to bring their children up in a dictatorship Krumbum do you read the papers have you ever heard of the "Arab spring* Aung San Suu Kyi these have lived under a dictatorship they know what movement restrictions actually mean and there testimonies should make us count our lucky stars as to how fortunate we are. How would you police this movement restriction shot then if they tried to leave shoot their wives childers imprison them I for one don't see your alternative vision for our society as better or one that I would want to bring my children up in.
Sorry OP for hijacking the thread will go awa now.
Good luck all will be fine you see.

Krum needs to learn why they failed... A small phenomenon known as human nature.

OP I just want to reiterate what others have said. She is just afraid and expressing that fear as teenagers do. Good luck to her and to you.

I went to boarding school - paid for by the RAF as my family moved around so much. I didn't feel abandoned, neglected or sent away. The schools abroad weren't brilliant so it was the best option for me. My parents actually sacrificed them being with me to send me to the best school they could - how is that abandoning their child? Why would you not send your child to the best school you could? Now that's selfish.

OP Your DD will be fine, I used to hate the holidays as no friends lived near me at all, but nowadays with skype, face book etc she will be fine :) She will gradually start getting excited about her new school too. I was always grumpy for the first few days of holidays as I missed my friends, but then I would gradually settle back home, and loved having time with my parents :) Good luck!

Soggy Summer,

I hope you and she are feeling brighter now. Overall, I think it can be better for children to go to a secondary where they don't know many other children. they get a chance to learn how to make new friendships, how to overcome the problem of loneliness and missing loved ones, and realising there are people nearby who they can get to know equally closely. Life chucks lots of changes at us, and learning that you can handle those changes is a vital skill.

I have tried to keep us relatively busy this week but the whole family seems to have been struck down with some nasty cold lurgy and we are all feeling rather rank tbh. What with the endless rain the past few days as well its been hard to do much.

DD seems a bit brighter though and she had her ears peirced (she only recently started to show some interest) earlier this week, so is feeling rather pleased with herself.

As we are stuck in I have made a start on the endless name tape sewing.