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Original poster

Would you feel happy with this school?

84 replies

GooseyLoosey · 17/04/2012 08:50

Ds is due to move from his state primary to an indepedent school in 1 week.

Dh and I have no previous experience on the independent sector and were very excited. However, I now feel, before he has even started that we have made a terrible mistake and that the school is completely wrong for him. Feel that they just couldn't give a toss about us or him.

My reasons are all fairly petty but they seem to have mounted up to a really negative feeling about the school. They are as follows:

When we went to look around, I had arranged it weeks in advance and taken a half day off work. Told when we got there that the head had a meeting somewhere else and we would have to see the deputy.

Arranged for ds's assessment day, again at their convenience, and the week beforehand we were asked to rearrange it for the benefit of someone else.

Arranged again to see the head - another half day. When we arrived, he was nowhere to be found. I was told we were early. I displayed the e-mail which said we were not. Eventually they found him.

It took nearly 3 weeks for them to send out a welcome pack by which time it was the Easter hols. The uniform supplier listed in there no longer supplies it and there is no one at the school who can help so I cannot actually get ds all of his uniform for day 1.

Am I being petty or do these things amount to enough to be hacked off? They don't really affect the quality of the education on offer I guess. What would you do?

OP posts:

LittleFrieda · 17/04/2012 08:56

Why are you moving him from his state primary?

mummytime · 17/04/2012 09:01

At private school the attitude of the Head is if anything even more important than at State school.

happygardening · 17/04/2012 09:04

Despite their inefficiency from day 1 you initially still went ahead and accepted the place so there must have been something at the time you liked. Or maybe there isn't! Don't be blinded by swimming pools large playing fields and other things.
If you take this place and it's a disaster can you go back to you primary school or another acceptable one?

iseenodust · 17/04/2012 09:12

Presumeably your DS is in himself ready for the excitement of a new school. I would go ahead and give him positive vibes. The matters you have mentioned are admin inefficiencies and yes a bit rude. I would just make sure I know the names of the senior team and address them by name and look them squarely in the eye every time from here on in

Original poster

GooseyLoosey · 17/04/2012 09:13

The reason for the move is that ds has a history of being bullied. The other children perceive him as odd (and tbh, he is a little). It was thought that he might be on the autistic spectrum so he was assessed by various people. The conclusion was that he is just very bright and has no understanding of the motivations of his peers. It was also suggested that he would be much happier in the most accademically selective school we could find. That was why he has gone to this school. They are used to dealing with odd children like ds.

OP posts:

Original poster

GooseyLoosey · 17/04/2012 09:13

iseenodust - that is what I am telling myself - it is all admin not the educational side - but still...

OP posts:

Gumby · 17/04/2012 09:17

I wouldn't worry
It's understandable that the head is very busy
If hecwas sitting in an office available all day that would be odd
If you'd arranged to see him a while in advance it does make sense that an unforeseen meeting could have come up
I think it's fine to be shown round by the deputy tbh

iseenodust · 17/04/2012 09:27

If I was playing devil's advocate I would suggest that may be the school caters well for the slightly odd / highly intelligent because that's what they've got at the top? Minor details are for the merely average??

Original poster

GooseyLoosey · 17/04/2012 09:28

That's reassuring. I just look at it from my perspective - if I could not make a meeting, I would let someone know and give them the option to rearrange. I have let all the niggles get to me and I really need you lot to tell me to out it all in perspective.

OP posts:

takeonboard · 17/04/2012 09:30

They are small things and you are probably very sensitive (understandably) because of your DS school experiences so far. The school sound administratively inefficient, but if they are on the ball academically and that is what your DS needs then that is the most important thing. Although if it were me I would want him to have the correct uniform on his 1st day, just to help him fit in as quickly as possible.
Good luck, I really hope it works out and your DS is very happy there.

Original poster

GooseyLoosey · 17/04/2012 09:34

The uniform thing is driving me nuts - I do desperately want him to have the right uniform for that very reason but I have absolutely no idea how to get hold of it!

OP posts:

wordfactory · 17/04/2012 09:35

It's not a great start is it?
The whole point of private school si that you get to choose the best fit for you and your DC.

What about the school is s good fit if anyhting?

Original poster

GooseyLoosey · 17/04/2012 09:37

Ds went for a taster day and he said that it was the first time he had found a lesson challenging for years. That did it for us.

I just expected it to feel more welcoming somehow and less like they couldn't care a less. I guess I wanted to be treated like a valued customer rather than someone who is lucky to be graced with a place.

OP posts:

happygardening · 17/04/2012 09:44

It's sadly not that uncommon for some very selective schools particularly selective preps to be quite rude I've heard other similar stories from friends. Some preps seems to almost think they're doing you a favour taking your child. But hopefully once you're there it will all be fine.
If you've after 3-4 terms (maybe 5-6 is more realistic) you've really managed to find a prep that is able to effectively adapt to the needs of a quirky highly intelligent child's you should make a recommendation on MN because IME these gems are few and far between!

happygardening · 17/04/2012 09:46

RE the uniform type ST ..... or whatever its called Uniform into google you might be lucky and at most schools staff etc come back at least a day early!

happygardening · 17/04/2012 09:47

Apologies for typing errors!

diabolo · 17/04/2012 09:50

I wouldn't be happy either OP.

I don't want to fawned all over by people, but you need to feel that a school (be it state or independent), is actually interested in you and your DC's.

The uniform thing especially - why are they sending out of date information to you? How is that there is no-one at the school who can help? Several members of staff at DS's prep are in occasionally over the holidays so could you could leave an answerphone message asking someone to contact you urgently?

Does the PTA sell uniform (a few Preps I know do this) Do you have the Chair of the PTA's contact details (usually in the information pack)? Even if she doesn't sell uniform, perhaps she could tell you where to go.

What about other parents? Who did you speak to about the school to find out what it was like from a parents point of view? Can that person help you?

Good luck.

Bletchley · 17/04/2012 09:50

If you phone the office they may well help you with the uniform

Original poster

GooseyLoosey · 17/04/2012 09:52

Thanks for the suggestions - I have left messages with the office and e-mailed them. The junior school administrator has replied that she has no idea and has left messages for the senior school! Hadn't thought about the PTA - could try that.

There is a second hand uniform shop, but it's only open in term times.

OP posts:

LittleFrieda · 17/04/2012 09:54

I would email the school with a list of questions re uniform etc. Say you realise they are busy but when they get a moment, could they please answer your queries.

Most schools have a friends of St Snots association run by parents. See if you can get a contact email address as they will probably be very helpful.

Sorry about the bullying, I hope the new school is free from that.

LittleFrieda · 17/04/2012 09:54

Ah cross posts.

takeonboard · 17/04/2012 09:56

HG is right selective preps can make you feel very indebted to them!!
There must be a way to find out the uniform suppliers before school starts, can you ring and email the school so that the staff get back to you (hopefully) before school starts. Also try your local John Lewis, they list on each stores website which schools they are suppliers for...............

Original poster

GooseyLoosey · 17/04/2012 10:00

Right - nothing on google other than John Lewis. They have scoured their branches for me and have nothing. They have been really helpful.

Sent very friendly begging e-mail to senior and junior school and asked what will happen if we can't get it.

Have e-mailed parents I know and asked them if they have any spare uniform items. Problem is I am missing a blazer and most people only have 1 of them.

Any other suggestions - you lot are good.

OP posts:

happygardening · 17/04/2012 10:05

The junior school administrator has no idea!? This school is certainly very inefficient I do hope you researched this school very carefully rember many preps particularly outside of London are struggling to fill their vacancies and will tell you what you want to hear! Your DS was bound to feel that the lesson was more stimulating than his primary school because it's different. If its only a prep you should look at the destintion of the leavers are the overwhelming majority going onto super selectives/selectives? Remember the term term buyer beware applies as much to prep schools as second hand cars and horses!

takeonboard · 17/04/2012 10:06

Can anyone put you in touch with a member of the parents association who may be able to sort you out with some 2nd hand uniform before school starts

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