Would you feel happy with this school?

[GooseyLoosey]

Ds is due to move from his state primary to an indepedent school in 1 week.

Dh and I have no previous experience on the independent sector and were very excited. However, I now feel, before he has even started that we have made a terrible mistake and that the school is completely wrong for him. Feel that they just couldn't give a toss about us or him.

My reasons are all fairly petty but they seem to have mounted up to a really negative feeling about the school. They are as follows:

When we went to look around, I had arranged it weeks in advance and taken a half day off work. Told when we got there that the head had a meeting somewhere else and we would have to see the deputy.

Arranged for ds's assessment day, again at their convenience, and the week beforehand we were asked to rearrange it for the benefit of someone else.

Arranged again to see the head - another half day. When we arrived, he was nowhere to be found. I was told we were early. I displayed the e-mail which said we were not. Eventually they found him.

It took nearly 3 weeks for them to send out a welcome pack by which time it was the Easter hols. The uniform supplier listed in there no longer supplies it and there is no one at the school who can help so I cannot actually get ds all of his uniform for day 1.

Am I being petty or do these things amount to enough to be hacked off? They don't really affect the quality of the education on offer I guess. What would you do?

As a school administrator myself, I am that any administrator at the school can't tell you where to buy uniform.

(sorry, that sounds really pompous, I don't mean it like that), but all staff should be able to at least tell you this simple bit of information.

The uniform problem would annoy me. If they have uniform you can't obtain from the usual high street chains, they should make sure parents have up to date information on how to obtain it. As your son has had a taster day at this school, liked it and found the lessons stimulating, that would ease and make up for a few minor niggles.

I'm sure it's different in the independent sector.

But if you turn up at my state school on day 1 without the correct uniform, they get you one. Either sell it to you, or get it from lost property / emergency 2nd hand stock.

We don't let kids start on day 1 in the wrong uniform.

Indigo - I would love to get the uniform but it is not possible and I really, really have tried. I have even ordered a blazer (at vast expense) in a size too small in case I really do need to have one. There appears to be no one at the school and I did not receive the uniform list until the hols had started.

The administrator is clueless and I know that other parents at the school find her to be so and avoid her where possible. However, I do wonder at a school that allows her to be their public face.

In terms of research, I live outside a small city and there are 5 independent schools. One is all girls, one is far too expensive (and not very accademic), one is catholic (and as a lapsed catholic who went to a catholic school, dh just cannot do that). That leaves 2 - there is not too much to choose between them - one has a reputation for being more accademic and the other for being more sporty - we chose the accademic one. Each school primarily feeds into its own senior school.

I'm saying,that when you turn up there on day 1, they should be able to sort you out a uniform - even if it's just from lost property.

Ahh - I hope so, I really do. I so want ds to fit in!

I have just pulled my child out a school where I had similar niggles including no welcome pack. We turned up on the first day and no one could remember who we were or that we were coming. Organisation and management on every level is diabolical and there were endemic problems. We handed in our notice after one term. The school is very prestigious. I would be worried and I also think if your child hasn't fitted into primary school then it may well be because of his personality. I would be wary that the school, with such disorganisation and a poor attitude will find your child an inconvenience if similar issues occur.

I would be fuming over the uniform issue. If you live in a relatively small city you could tty googling school uniform suppliers or checking yellow pages and ringing each one to ask if they supply uniform for school X. Good luck

I may have missed a post but is it not on the schools website? my sons independant school has a specific parents website and the uniform supplier links are on there as well as on the main website.

It is a poor show really and would annoy me too. If you have a meeting arranged with the HT then it should be with them.

Is it a really big school? If thats the case it could be just be one of those things and they may have had admin staffing issues for a few weeks, it may not always be like that.

When uniform has been an issue at the dcs school (and unfortunately it does seem to eb the case that at certain times of years there is simply no stock), the office will have called the PTA reps who handle 2nd hand uniform in order to at least check whether there is something available. How large is the prep school?

The school website refers to John Lewis. JL are adamant (after making lengthy enquires) that they are no longer contracted to supply uniform for the school. I can find no other supplier referred to anywhere and the Junior School administrator knows nothing about it.

Junior school has about 160 pupils. Senior school 650.

Lou - that's what I thought about the meeting too. It showed a complete lack of respect towards me to change the arrangements and not tell me. Fine if he had to be somewhere else, but they could at least have notified me and given me the option of the Deputy or rearranging.

Lark - I fear we may go that way too but it was such a big decision to move him at all, I so wanted this to be the only move.

Big question - would you let the school know how pissed off you were if you were me, or would you just suck it up?

GooseyLoosey If you know other parents of pupils already at this school could you beg or borrow a set of uniform for the first day? Kids hate being different from all the others so It would be better than having the wrong stuff.
The Head may be ok but needs a better admin/secretary to organise his time for him. There may be a superb class teacher working away in the classroom when you get to know the setup a bit better.
On the whole I admit it does not sound too rosey. Good luck!

OP - you are paying for your DS to attend this school, they should be providing you with a quality service for your money.

I think you should complain, it is stressful enough moving schools, they should be doing all they can to help make it as easy as possible for you.

DS attends a disorganised indie school. We put up with it because they have a very good rep for pastoral care (what DS needs).
First day, We just sent DS in the right colours & if they had spares they would loan him.

Actually I am increasingly feeling like I have made a terrible mistake. Part of me thinks I could give notice before term starts but that would be silly. It would wouldn't it?

How would you be feeling if a state school had treated you like this? This isn't a loaded question- it's just that if you wouldn't put up with this treatment from a school you don't pay for, they why would you put up with it from one you do?

And -I'm sorry to add to your doubts- but you say your child has some issues with his peers and so on. Do you trust this school to be on the ball about dealing with them and keeping you informed about what's going on? I wonder if you don't, and that's what's really worrying you?

Seeker - I think you are right that I may have other nagging doubts. I would certainly have confronted a state school about this - I think I feel slightly out of my depth dealing with this school, but perhaps they are relying on that.

I was sold on the accademic strength, not because that is what I care about most but because it is ds's primary focus. They promised me that they are used to dealing with children like ds and that he would not be so unusual there but of course I have no evidence of that.

I really do think I may have got it wrong.

Oh, help- what can you do? Have you thought of what options you have? Could you put off his move until half term, for example, so you can get some more answers? Or isn't that practicable?

Thing is, I am not going to know whether or not my doubts were ill founded until he actually goes and we see what happens. The other parents I know seem happy with the school and some of them do have slightly "odd" children too. I honestly hoped that this move would resolve all of our problems and that ds would finally be happy - maybe I have too much invested in that.

Good idea Maples - I have a friend with a child there. I will e-mail her, although I know she won't be completely objective.

OP Sorry about this situation. Try it out for now but keep looking about for a plan B. You have nothing to lose do you?
If this is your first taste of private school you are bound to feel a bit apprehensive. At least you already know a few other parents there.
Your Dc will quickly pick up on your thoughts so try to sound positive for his sake.
I would certainly not hold back with any concerns you have. Make sure you do it by letter or email though as phone calls are quickly lost and forgotten.
For now, keep a log of your concerns, however minor, so that you have definite dates and facts.
It may all turn out well.. here's hoping.

Gah. Just call them and say you have no uniform and what should you do. It won't help your son's cause if he joins his new school as the only boy not in full uniform.

" I honestly hoped that this move would resolve all of our problems and that ds would finally be happy - maybe I have too much invested in that."

I think maybe your expectations are a bit high!

OK. Tell us 3 fantastic things about the new school.