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Would you send your kids to private school if money were no option?

277 replies

Beetroot · 04/02/2006 20:04

and if so why? or why not?

Mine go to a private school. I justyfy it tom myslef becase they are specialist musicanans, they have 'special needs' which would not be fufilled in the state sector (round 'ere anyway)

Was totally against it though, until I fell into it by mistake!

OP posts:
Angeliz · 07/02/2006 10:18

Some private Schools must be like that i suppose with so many accounts but csn i just say, my dd is 5 soon and all her and all her little freinds dress mainly in Princess stuff from Asda.
Her main 2 friends also have older siblings, 8 + 9 year olds, and they dress in similar clothes. I've yet to see someone in designer gear so the pressure is not immense in all Private Schools i can assure you.
Also what is the 'typical' Private School rule?

veuveclicquot · 07/02/2006 12:42

Oooh I think this is very tricky. I was a state school student until I was 10 and then I went private. At state school I was top of the class without trying - as soon as I went private I was bottom with trying - and I'd missed out on several years of French and Latin.

Just based on my experience I am planning to send DD private from the start of her schooling.

For me, private was about the whole thing and pupils' attitude rather than the schooling as a whole - there were never any children there who didn't want to learn or who weren't driven towards being the best. I think that maybe I took it more to heart than my compatriates - my family were working class and made a lot of sacrifices to send me to my school and as a result I got a lot more out of it than my richer friends - I now earn more than everybody else in my peer group. I think seeing them all with their big houses and swimming pools made me really go for it. `

I think that's also another thing when considering private schooling. Unless you can keep up your child will be an outsider. I think it's more important than you think - they have to share the same lifestyle or they will be an outcast or teased. And if that happens it's not worth it - send them state and pay for private tutorials.

hollyhocks · 07/02/2006 12:55

Hey all, do you think that parents who choose to go private are selfish and snobbish? I went through private education all the way through my school career, from primary all the way to A-levels. My mum had to work extremly hard as a single widowed parent and made HUGE sacrifices on order to give me the best education she could. Although my baby girl is only 4months old I want to put her through private education because I think it did me the world of good. What are your true opinions? Please dont hold back I really want to know what you think of it all!!!

Passionflower · 07/02/2006 13:27

Yes DD's go private.

Where we are the choice at primary was out of one state school, one selective all girls (CofE), and one non-selective all girls (RC). The States of Guernsey don't allow any choice of school - you go to the one in your catchment end of. As the local state primary was an over my dead body senario we opted to go private rather than move house. And yes we do appreciate how lucky we are to be able to choose.

Also I totally agree with springintheair's post.

batters · 07/02/2006 15:14

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niuserre · 07/02/2006 17:24

I went to private school and my partner didn't. The difference in our standard of education is absolutely astounding and from talking to his state educated friends and my privately educated friends I could not imagine sending my children to state school.

My little girl will be going to private school no matter what sacrifices I have to make in order to afford it.

bossykate · 07/02/2006 17:35

niuserre, what differences have you noticed?

tortoiseshell · 07/02/2006 17:36

I think I would only send ds or dd to private school IF they didn't get into a good state school. We really can't afford it, but have been looking at what they cost here, as our area came bottom in the country this year, and there is only 1 decent state school, so we will be very lucky to get in. Fortunately it is a few years off!

Cam · 07/02/2006 19:10

Yes that was kind of the point I was making mcmudda, although I don't think it needed to be made quite so forcefully....its just another aspect to consider in the whole shebang....

Common Entrance would probably be hard to take if you haven't had the years of classics etc, I can't imagine how hard it would be to be crammed. However you only need this if you're going for one of the biggies.

beatie · 07/02/2006 20:58

niuserre ~ I'm intrigued to know what you see as the differences. Perhaps your DP went to a considerably poor state school. I'm not sure you can generalise. My partner and I both went to state schools. Mine was excellent and the stories he tells me about his make me go

Wordsmith · 07/02/2006 21:09

Rarrie, re your post yesterday, I didn't say I thought state schools are crap because middle class parents all leave. But I don't think it helps if they do - certainly not those left behind anyway - the ones who can't afford to go private or travel to the best state school which isn't so close etc etc.

And I certainly wouldn't blame private schools for the problems in state schools. The problems in most state schools have nothing at all to do with private schools - I just don't think it helps, that's all!

And of course kids are going to get better results in private schools - if you only have a 10/1 pupil/teacher ratio, all the resources you could ever wish for, less influence from outside forces and lesser-able pupils overtly or covertly weeded out, what do you expect?! I would be seething if I'd paid for an expensive education and didn't get value for money. But that doesn't mean the state school has less able teachers or less able pupils. Just, generally speaking, less room for manouevre.

We'd all like to think our children get the very best we can offer, and that if we fail to make sure they do better than little Johnny or Annie then we've failed them in some way. The trouble is that, if we take that view to its logical conclusion, other children are going to miss out through no fault of their own or of their parents. I prefer to think that the time, effort and money spent ensuring that my child could step over his or her less fortunate friends, could be more productively spent on trying to create a better school for all the children.

I don't believe the Government has it totally right. I only have 15 months' experience of the state school system as a parent to inform me - I may totally change my mind by the time my kids get to secondary education - but I don't beleive private school is the anwer. It helps to perpetuate a divisive society and anything we can do to avoid that should be considered, IMO.

donaldduck · 07/02/2006 22:18

I will send dd to private school in fact I was just talking about this to dh tonight. I think that children in private schools are encouraged so much more than those in state schools. I can only say that I will do my bit for my dd and any other children that I may have I do not feel that I have to answer to anyone else about that.

springintheair · 07/02/2006 22:50

Wordsmith,

If it was only private schools that were divisive I would agree with you and probably wouldn't want or wouldn't need to take my kids out of the state system but did you read my earlier post about the state system? 18% of our state schools are faith schools which mean they 'discriminate' as the head of Canon Slade school (which took only 3 kids from its two nearest primary schools last year)proudly puts it. In theory, only in terms of faith (frightening enough anyway IMO) but it's not just coincidence that these schools have less students with special needs, free school meals etc and then surprise, surprise come top of the league tables. And then there's the grammar schools, the house prices and Education Bill which this Govt is putting through to encourage more of this sort of stuff.

Why should my kids put up with the state education system when so many Labour MPs don't (their kids go private) and they're encouraging the very divisions that you (and I) hate?
Also, you couldn't be more wrong when you say we send our kids to private school so they can 'step over their less fortunate friends'. I want them to go there because I know they'll be happy, supported and challenged there (this doesn't sound like so much to ask of a school but actually it really would be too much to ask for my kids of the schools near me and I know cos my partner's taught in most of them and I've taught some of the lucky kids who come out of them and go on to college).

I actually do my (tiny) bit for my kids 'less fortunate friends'. I try and teach them and so does my partner (who works in a school for kids with emotional and behavioural difficulties). I also write to my MP and tell him I think his government should put more money into the state system, scrap faith schools and grammar schools, reduce class sizes and so on. I hate to tell you this, Wordsmith, but he isn't listening. Do you really think that if I send my kids to the local school this will make him sit up and take any more notice?

DominiConnor · 08/02/2006 02:33

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batters · 08/02/2006 09:21

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Angeliz · 08/02/2006 09:25

"I just want my child to be happy" is not code for anything when i say it. It's the truth!

Passionflower · 08/02/2006 10:26

Me too, "I just want my kids to be happy", means just exactly that when I say it.

Passionflower · 08/02/2006 10:32

If I didn't care about my DD's happiness or education I would just send them to the cheapest boarding school I could find.

TBH I don't actually agree with anything DominiConnor has posted.

Cam · 08/02/2006 20:46

Dominiconnor, when parents say thayw ant their children to be happy in a school/educational context it means that they want their child's educationall,needs accurately assessed and developed and encouraged, as well as social.

batters · 09/02/2006 08:31

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Cam · 09/02/2006 21:44

Thanks Batters, I used to be able to spell as well.....

AngelaD · 09/02/2006 21:54

I must say when i hear "i just want them to be happy" it does worry me, I want my girls to be happy too but that means working very hard to achieve the job/lifestyle that will earn them enough money to be able to make choices in order to be happy.
I want my girls to be happy but they don't know what will make them happy yet (watching Cbeebies all day is probably a good bet) so they have a regular kick up the bum from me and their teachers.

Angeliz · 09/02/2006 22:10

AngelaD, obviously 'i just want them to be happy' doesn't mean i'm going to pander to their every whim!
Can't beleive people are analsing or worrying about the phrase!

MrsSpoon · 09/02/2006 22:15

We are incredibly fortunate to have very good state Schools in the area and we are fortunate that the two Schools that are considered best in the area are walking distance from our house.

MrsSpoon · 09/02/2006 22:16

Doh, so that's a no from me on these grounds as I don't see the point whether it could be afforded or not sending my children miles away (as it would be in our case) to private School when there were very good Schools within walking distance.