What are my rights to withold school fees?...

[mummytippy]

Hi everyone,

I'll try and keep to the point with this very stressful and upsetting matter.

My son started at an independent school just after Easter. At this point he was 4. He turned 5 at the end of June.
We were due to move house (a move of just over 20 miles) so I decided on a school close to where we were going to and have now moved to. This was to try and ease any upheaval... as at least I hoped he'd remain at the same school despite moving house.

Upon enrollment the Headmistress advised that as the Easter term was short, and my son was a summer born boy, his progress would be monitored. She said that should he need a little more time to settle in he would continue after the summer hols in Reception and join year one after the October half term.

He settled in well. On the whole he's a very well behaved child and if anything he adapted well with the transition from nursery (free-play environment) to the more structured classroom environment.

At first things seemed fine, I found there to be small problems... little things... for example, letters home about uniform and important dates would name my son incorrectly... and I too would be addressed in-correctly (wrong surname and title). I dismissed these as felt they were minor.

As the summer hols approached I wasn't contacted as discussed by the head or my son's class teacher regarding his progress.
The head does have a reputation as quite formidable. Most parents find her very intimidating.
Instead of being contacted personally as I'd believed I would, I received a sheet of paper on the last day of term with a tick in the box telling me my son's progress was 'satisfactory'. This was not expanded upon.
I asked another parent with children in the same class... and apparently if you 'hadn't heard' it meant your child was going to start in year 1 after the holidays. I was pleased, as I felt my son must have met the required standard... in such a short term... and importantly it meant he could remain with his class mates.

After the (8 week) Summer holiday my son returned to school. After 3 days in, I found a compliment slip in his bag asking me to go into school as 'his behavior was causing reason for concern'. I was very shocked and worried... and wondered what on earth could he have done?

I arranged to see the headmistress the next morning. At the meeting (which the headmistress kept me waiting 20 minutes for) I was told my son had been sat 'twitching' at his table and 'fidgeting' with the contents of his pencil case.
I explained that this was very out of character... (usually if asked to stop, would) and perhaps as the holidays had been very long (as long as the Spring term) to maybe give him a few more days to settle in.
I was then completely shocked when the headmistress turned to me and said... 'Surely you know you have a naughty boy?' to which I replied dumbstruck ... 'Well, actually, he's relatively good at home... and has his moments... like most children' to which I got 'Oh, so he's an Angel at home and a terror here'... well his attitude has to change or you're wasting your money'!!! I did my best to remain composed and then re-iterated we were also moving house (upheaval, leaving his friends made since birth etc) and to bare this in mind and offer him additional support.

I am a lone parent and cannot say how much this shocked and hurt me to hear. Once I'd left the meeting, I went out to my car and sat and cried. Despite this, I felt I had to give the teacher and headmistress the benefit of the doubt, present a united front and had a chat with my son after school... explaining the importance of listening and learning at school.

From here, things went from bad to worse...
My son had started school being able to hold a pencil correctly but somehow now could barely do this? He was struggling to keep up too. As a result he was kept in a break times and part of the lunch hour and set extra work to do at home which I gladly did with him.

I received another note: Saying Griff's homework hadn't been done... but it had as I'd done it with him. I explained I knew it had definitely been completed as we'd had to use a blue pencil crayon (not ideal) and then the teacher sent a note saying 'It's turned up, 'my son' had hidden it at the bottom of the marking pile'. This is not something he would do... I seriously mean that... if anything he'd have to be told where to put the homework.

Then, about a week later, one morning whilst he was getting himself dressed for school he burst into tears... saying ' Please tell Mrs * (the head) I can dress myself Mummy!'. I couldn't believe how upset he was... and asked whatever had happened. He said he'd been dressing after P.E. the day before and the head had asked him if he dressed himself at home... on saying yes, she had replied with 'I don't believe you'. I can imagine he was probably dressing a little slowly... but he is only 5! I was not happy about him being demeaned.

By now I felt extremely unhappy and guilty in sending my son to school as he was clearly very unhappy... especially as the school seemed in no way to take any of the facts about our house move into consideration.

The final straw was my son being refused to go to the toilet after raising his hand and asking. As a result he wet himself in class and had to change into his P.E. shorts. I was humiliated and embarrassed and I out raged.

By this point we had reached October half term and I had to come to a decision... the last thing I wanted to do was create more upheaval. We had only been in our new home just over a week.
I felt I had no choice but to withdraw him from the school with immediate effect on the grounds that I felt he wasn't being treated or cared for properly.

I wrote to the headmistress explaining my reasons... to which she didn't acknowledge my letter but left a very rude answerphone message. I again wrote to her (going into more detail) to which again she replied very rudely, insulting me, saying I was rude and that I was being unfair to my son in removing him from the school and that he should have completed the term. She also said she felt I had written my letter of complaint to simply 'get out of paying the fees' and that she believes I cannot afford the fees'.
With regard to my son staying on, I was afraid of how he would be treated if he stayed, as they didn't seem to care about him before I'd raised my concerns.
With regard to affording the fees, the headmistress is not aware my son is now blissfully happy at another Independent fee paying school.

So, going back to my point about payment... I had been paying the school fees by direct debit each month... until September, where because I wasn't happy I put a stop on the DD. I withdrew my son at Oct half term... and was prepared to pay for Sept and Oct.

I am trying to look at this matter in a 'matter of fact' way which is:
'If you are unhappy with a service, do you pay for it?'
As I am extremely upset at the way my child has been treated and am unhappy with the standard of the education too, I am close to complaining to the ISC and Ofsted.

As a result of withholding payment, the headmistress has already
consulted a debt collection agency who are not only asking for the fees up to the end of term for which my son was withdrawn half-way (winter term) but she has also invoiced me for the Spring term of next year too.

I feel the school has failed my son and we have both been treated in a despicable manner. I would be very grateful for any advice and support.

Thank you in advance.

I don't have any legal advice but wanted to offer my support in what I find a shocking set of circumstances. The things you allege the head to have said are outrageous, and could never be justified in any way. I think you ought to consider naming the school or at least telling people in which area it is so that for people in that area they can really dig deep before going for a certain school. Nobody should go through that in any school. Disgusting behaviour.

I would not name the school or the area if I were you.

You would be stupid if you name the school.

OP - sorry that you have had such a shte experience with this school.

In your shoes, I would do the following.
Write to the governors, detailing the timeline of inicidents, including the good points and the bad points. Dont slag the school off to the governors but make sure you get your points across.

secondly, in that letter, iw ould enclose q cheque for the remainder of the terms fees. i.e to december, i know this is not what you wanted and can understand that it will irk you no end to have to do this.

I would finish by saying that this, you feel is a fair offer, and make sure you state that you had many snide comments regatding not being able to afford fees blah blah and that the head acted in a most unprofessional and inapporpriate manner by trying to avoid the real reasons for you removing your son mid term.

I would hope that if you give the evidence of the heads behaviour - copies of correspondence etc it will embarass the school into accepting your offer.

sorry if this post is all mis spelt, i am on a laptop in bed, lying down haha!

I would avoid naming the school on here tbh. Runs the risk of compounding your problems.

Millicano, I think your idea is a good one and that the OP should seriously consider it.

With regard to naming the school, it is best that the OP does that within her local community as those are the people that it will affect. Do bear in mind OP that there are still people for whom even a school as awful as this one sounds will be the right fit for one reason or another. Be careful not to alienate anyone as the children who are still at the school will be your DS's classmates again a little further down the line.

As a general principle once a debt has been given to a debt collection agency the people/organisation who you originally owe the money to will not negotiate any further. But this is not a bad thing debt collections agencies are realists and ultimately have no particular feelings for the debtor and as I've already stated are looking for a quick fix. It is highly likely that they will accept one terms fees and also highly unlikely take her to court for the rest.
Also I have found that the governors (if they exist which I suspect they don't in this case) will side with the head unless of course they want him/her to go but if and its a big if the school is successful and over subscribed they are almost certainly going to stand by the head.

Many smaller independent schools use school fee specialist companies to ensure all unpaid fees are collected .They will have made sure contracts are watertight and will continue to fight for unpaid fees.
You say you cancelled the direct debit as it neded changing to a different amount but 'forgot' seems strange you didn't do the two things at the same time.
As for naming and shaming the school there are two sides to every story and I am sure you would be up in arms if the school decided to name and shame non payers on their website.

The direct debits for school fees are flexible. They are not standing orders that are a fixed amount each month. They are flexible because of disbursements each term.

There is no need to cancel the direct debit because of a different level of school fees.

"There is no need to cancel the direct debit because of a different level of school fees."

And I don't believe that is what the OP did anyway. I think, as she said in the first post, she cancelled the DD because she "wasn't happy".

I was about to say that, amerryscot.

In fact ALL direct debits are flexible and need no action from the payer for changes in the amounts paid. The payee can change the amount requested from the payer's bank at any time as long as they give the payer 14 days (I think) notice in writing of the change.

It is possible that the OP is using the wrong term and in fact was paying by standing order. This is most likely if she was paying directly to the school and not through a school fees finance provider. Most small schools would not be big enough to be a direct debit originator anyway.

Anyway, OP, I have to say that I agree with others that you signed a contract and it is unlikely you will be able to get out of paying the full fees for the notice period. The events that led to you takingyour DC out early really have no bearing on this contract. They are separate issues which should have been dealt with through the school's official grievance procedure. They have absolutely nothing to do with the financial contract you entered into.

If you insist on refusing to pay on this basis you will ne taken to court for recovery and you will lose. With all the extra costs that entails.

Sorry, I do sympathise with you over the way your DC was treated but you really must face the financial reality or you will find yourself seriously out of pocket. Never, ever go on an expensive legal crusade over an issue like this.

By all means make complaints to anyone you can and tell everyone you know about your experience, but you will never get anywhere if you try to link in the payment of fees to those issues.

I think it is highly unlikely that the OP will be taken to court debt collecting agencies do not want that kind of agro. They also know that it is also highly likely that a court in in any pre court abitration hearing will take the view that as the OP has already made a reasonable offer and infact paid a sizable contribution (1 terms fees) towards the outstanding balance then there is no case to answer. Single mums especially if they are on any kind of benefit/tax credit etc are also viewed by the court as "vulnerable" and courts do not like organisations taking advantage of the vulnerable.

That's incorrect information Happy. I know of one parent who was taken to court by the school for non payment of fees and was issued with a CCJ as a result. She was also a single parent. If it's the small claims court then there is no pre court arbitration hearing, the OP will be sent a form to fill in and she will not need to attend the court unless she contests.

What peaceofcake said. I also know a similar case.

Before posting my comment I spoke to a friend who is a debt counsellor for the CAB I am unfamiliar with the small claims court and hence used the wrong terminology: on filling in the form pre hearing you are able to justify your actions and detail what you have done and this will be taken into consideration. Also as has already been stated by someone else every solicitor/debt collector will tell you you cant get money where it doesn't exist.
I know of at least four people who haven't been pursued through the court in very similar situations and one who has but that person was paying the fees through one of those organisations which collect them on behalf of the school from all parents paying by direct debit/standing order. These are different people to straight forward debt collectors.

It's down to the decisions of the court who will look at the merits of each case. It's a gamble which doesn't always pay off Happy, the OP risks the court ruling against her which will increase the cost of the outstanding balance quite considerably and leave her with a CCJ on top. Just because you know people who have not been pursued it doesn't mean that the OP won't be. The people you know would have used a term time collections company, the company pay the school fees at the start of the term for that term and the parents pay the company per month with a small fee on top. I have knowledge of these set ups and they will instruct solicitors, go to the small claims court and instruct bailiffs. I used to work in law and have a LLB.

The arguement of having no money to pay the debt is probably not going to be effective here, as the OP clearly has enough money to pay for her child to be attending an independent school at present.

Independent schools have no qualms about taking debtors to court. They will not be fazed by this at all.

I of course bow to those with superior knowledge ut the OP states that the debt has been given to a debt collection agency and my friend states that they are well known for 1. their reluctance to take people to court and 2. always open to a negotiation of the amount owned particularly if promt payment is offered.

The OP doesn't state which one though Happy. If she doesn't pay the full up then they will send the debt back to the school, the school can then issue a summonds. It's not a great idea to offer advice on the basis that you've known a few people who have escaped paying fees when, in reality, a lot more have not.

Again I bow to your superior knowledge.

The outcome is inevitable.

Having had years of paying private school fees I find the whole story most strange. If the school was run like a dicatorship why on earth does it have a waiting list. Think the OP should pay what they owe and move on - think she is trying to make a point - I didnt like the school so I refuse to pay up. HM is the b**ch from hell so lets make it all about her. If the OP had some problems the school policy documents are clear. I am told every term what I need to do if I have an issue, class teacher, head of year and then Head. The OP seems to have got this chip on her shoulder about the HM having it 'in for her' and is now planning to write to all and sundry. Why didnt they take it one step at a time when the issues started to arise.

And I really dont think as one poster suggested that it is because she is a single parent. Its because she stopped paying the school fees...

Pay up according to what you signed up to and then move on. If your son is now happy in his school just let it be.