Year 3 top of the Class, year 4 shouted at all the time

[Beetrootfultoyourself]

My 8 year old was top of the class at his last school (state school). The teacher thoght he was wonderful and never had a bad word to say about him. He was one oof 4 who had an ink pen becasue his writing was so good.#

He transfers t private school. and becomes a chorister (7.45 am - 6pm ) his writing is suffering, the teacher shouts at him for messy work. She never says anything good, she shouts at him becasue he reads books from home rather than school books. She s generally miserable.

Ds is exhausted and fed up and does nt like school anymore

Have you been in and talked to the teacher?

Try her first. Talk about what incentives you could both provide for your DS (then she won't feel that you are getting at her). If you get no joy, then move up the scale and talk to the head teacher.

Is he taking a while to get used to the extended days, with the choir work etc? In which case could this miserable horrid woman be encouraged to give him a bit of leeway?

Push her down a flight of stairs at parenst evening so that she has to be replaced for the rest of the year?

Poor DS. Don't know what (sensibly) to suggest.

i have not been in as she is so miserable that she will patronise me and say things like 'well of course he will find the work much harder here'

But that is fine, finding the work harder, why isn't he trying? Perhpas he is tired, he does have very long days but he seems to rush everything now...

she is know n for beng horrid, the music teacher says she canno tunderstand why ds is having problems, he is an angel with her...but hten she is fabulous and insprational.

then you need to talk to misery guts. If she starts to patronise you, tell her that the music teacher finds him delightful and that you really want his year with misery guts to be a happy one.

If that doesn't work, talk to the head. It's the only way to get things done sometimes.

Doesn't he have a House tutor Beetroot? It is often better to speak to them rather than directly with the teacher.

Sounds like you are having a bit of a bad day. Hope it improves.

she is his year tutor, the next person is the head.

It is so difficult, listen you miserable lady cheer up and leave my son alone. I have said perhaps he needs to be given a break while he gets used to the longs hors but she thinks he just has to get on with it.

Perhaps the head....

On a postive note I have changed his piano teacher who is also lacking int he joy department!!

Oh Beetroot your poor ds - no wonder he's fed up. It sounds like he just needs someone to cut him a bit of slack, an give him some praise and encouragement.

Did he start in September?

I haven't really got any suggestions - some people are just miserable and pass that on to everybody else. I hope your ds starts to enjoy school again soon.

Yes Roisen septmember.

I know, poor boy, I asked him if she ever praised him adn he said NO! But all the others theachers do. Luckly he has others for maths/science/games etc so he is ot with her all the time.

I am lputting in a serious request for my DD NOT to have her when the time comes.

Beetroot - is this a recent development or has it been a problem since he started? It seems such a long day for an 8 year old and I suppose he has to do Sundays too does he? Do those hours mean that he doesn't have prep to do at home? I wondered, if that is the case, if he could be allowed to do it at home for a few weeks just to get his enthuisiasm back. Also, with reagrds to the books, does he not enjoy the school books?

yes september.

He does his prep at home when he gets back form choir at 6 ish.

The trouble is she is known by many to be horrid. and so whatever I say he wil still be horrid. I just want to build up ds so she doesn't affect him.

Your poor DS. It does seem that is having a few teething troubles adjusting.

I really think you need to speak to the teacher - miserable she may be, but there may be something else amiss that your DS isnt telling you. Better to get both sides of it before making a judgement on how to fix it i would say.

I hope things get better for him.

That's a heck of a long day for him. Homework afterwards as well?

my goodness - 7.45 - 6 then homework!! and piano lessons!!!

how tired he must be!!!makes me look back at my dreadful state education (9 till 3 then lopping round at home) and realise I had it so easy! Poor but 'appy, I was..............

Seriously, I would approach the head about this. Your son WAS enjoying learning and it's too precious a thing for this woman to be allowed to mess with. Obviously talk to her first but if no joy don't hesitate to go to the head, ask for it to be a confidential chat. He NEEDS to know if a teacher's approach is so negative, for the good of the school. She is paid good money to do her job and she needs to be performing it adequately - don't be cowed, they are providing you a service and you are within your rights to request the service be improved.

Your poor DS. She doesn't sound much like a teacher that motivates her students does she?

Sounds like he has a very long day as it is and it's being made worse by a nasty teacher.

Just out of interest why did he change schools? Did you move?

Beetroot - my DD is the same age/school yr as your DS. In September she moved from the pre-prep to the prep school within the same school. She has found the transition quite hard and the longer days, extra curicular activities and increased prep have really taken there toil. She developed adominal migraines and generally has not been herself. The migraine trigger was lack o f sleep/laterbedtime which was necessery to "get it all done". We have reduced her extra activities and her form tutor has been very supportive in extending prep deadlines. She went to bed early every night over the holidays and is coping very well with term so far (OK it is only the first week!!)
My solutions possibly won't work for you but it may be worthwhile looking at it as ds having a problem adjusting to the new demands placed on him rather than a pupil/teacher clash
Is he rushing his work to get it all done - is this why is handwriting is not as neat and resulting in his tutor being on his back all the time?.

I hope he is happier soon....

Beetroot - my DD is the same age/school yr as your DS. In September she moved from the pre-prep to the prep school within the same school. She has found the transition quite hard and the longer days, extra curicular activities and increased prep have really taken there toil. She developed adominal migraines and generally has not been herself. The migraine trigger was lack o f sleep/laterbedtime which was necessery to "get it all done". We have reduced her extra activities and her form tutor has been very supportive in extending prep deadlines. She went to bed early every night over the holidays and is coping very well with term so far (OK it is only the first week!!)
My solutions possibly won't work for you but it may be worthwhile looking at it as ds having a problem adjusting to the new demands placed on him rather than a pupil/teacher clash
Is he rushing his work to get it all done - is this why is handwriting is not as neat and resulting in his tutor being on his back all the time?.

I hope he is happier soon....

Beetroot - my DD is the same age/school yr as your DS. In September she moved from the pre-prep to the prep school within the same school. She has found the transition quite hard and the longer days, extra curicular activities and increased prep have really taken there toil. She developed adominal migraines and generally has not been herself. The migraine trigger was lack o f sleep/laterbedtime which was necessery to "get it all done". We have reduced her extra activities and her form tutor has been very supportive in extending prep deadlines. She went to bed early every night over the holidays and is coping very well with term so far (OK it is only the first week!!)
My solutions possibly won't work for you but it may be worthwhile looking at it as ds having a problem adjusting to the new demands placed on him rather than a pupil/teacher clash
Is he rushing his work to get it all done - is this why is handwriting is not as neat and resulting in his tutor being on his back all the time?.

I hope he is happier soon....

sorry - it crashed out on me 3 times whilst trying to post!!

Sonnet, yes that is exactly waht is happening. In class and out. He does not get home until 615, then eat tea, then do prep tehn bed at a reasonable hour. It is all difficlut to fit in. Ds is tired. Not sure how I can change any of this, apart form monitoring his homework more.

His teacher is not particulary understadning of the pressure he is under as there are other kdis in the same class who have the smae pressure and are not having problems.

Sorry to hear your son is finding it hard to cope with his long day and misery guts of a teacher. It is a lot to pile on an 8 year old.

Do you think he feels more under pressure somehow as he sees what his older brother does? I assume his big brother's schedule and homework is more hectic than this?

I don't know if there is an easy answer, but do you think your 8 year old ds feels that his path is somehow laid out for him - now he is at the same school as his older brother, he will be expected to do and like the same things.

I am sure you are not thinking along these lines - but your ds might have this perception. Can you reassure him that you will listen to him and you realise he may want to do different things to his brother? He doesn't have to follow in his brother's footsteps - you love him for the individual he is.

Could he drop piano or other extra curricular activities for now if he wants to? IME around that age, it is really easy to get overloaded with extra curricular stuff and sometimes you have to drop one thing in favour of another (or chill out time).