If you could afford to send your kids to a private school, would you?

[juicychops]

or would you choose for them to go to a 'normal' state school?

just curious what your responses will be

OMG!

What if you don't live near any of the Top 20 Xenia Approved Educational facilitites!!!!!

What should we do, heeeeelppppp , heyulp us Xenia, oh wise one! Must we move???

"It is one of the best things a mother can do for her child - is pick work which enables her to pay school fees for a child at one of the top 20 day schools."

And also of course, 'pick work' that puts you in the right location to access one of those few day schools. Damn, didn't think about that when I was indulging my passion for science.

Even I think Xenia's views are a bit odd and I think private schools are fine in the right circumstances.
I've just had a look and the nearest senior school to us is 5 miles. There are two private schools closer. If that school let your child down in any way would all the people who said no way on principle not consider private if they could afford it? (bear in mind transport would not be organised by the council if you chose to move them to a more distant state school)

Tough titties Grimma we can't all be wonderful mumsies with top jobs and top 20 schools on our doorsteps.

I think my DS would be bored in a Xenia approved school they will (probably) have a set protocol to train their pet monkeys upto a set level......

Ideally, I would like to be able to consider a grammar school. I like the idea of being selective at that age. And do they tend to be smaller than comps??? Our comps are all 1000+.
We have eldest in private (y5) and younger in state (y2). We can't imagine Y5 child settling in rough and tumble world of our comp in 2 years time. It's big and lessons I've witnessed seemed pretty disrupted by poor behaviour. Private school lessons seemed more orderly.

He may well not be allowed in iggly.

Does he speak with a regional accent?

I admire Xenia hugely for her obvious tenacity and success. However, I cannot imagine that there are too many Xenia's in the country, able to afford 5x20k+ worth of day fees out of taxed income, as a single parent, but I do find her dynamic contributions to the private/state debates very amusing - I think she just copies and pastes every single time.

Pissfart: "I have friends who scrimp for school fees and their childrens have nothing outside of school to speak of. They come over to ride my children's ponies as they can't afford lessons and their children are desperate to ride! They can't afford to join us and another family to go skiing and frequently don;t come out with us and other friends for meals or evening events as they can't afford it."

Oh, those poor, privately-educated kids, missing out on having a pony and skiing!

Pissfart, you seem to make the assumption that choosing private or state is a matter of giving up things like ponies and skiing. And revelling in your freedom to spend your income on whatever you choose. Which seems a mite hypocritical? Most people can afford neither education or ponies.

Anyway, don't most people in the UK with sufficient wealth and a safe home live in a bubble?

I lived in a bubble within my state education (social/class segregation within the school), then entered another bubble going to university, and another working for a large employer in a graduate job, living in a "nice" area and so on.

I don't think my education means I somehow have more of an understanding of the "real world", whatever that is. But remember arguing at 18 that it did! Ridiculous.

I'm lost Dozer, seriously, what are you trying to say?

These people have given up all trappings of a nice lifestyle for private education. The local state schools are good, I'm wondering of it's worth that amount of sacrifice.

Yes, most do live in a bubble, I'll agree there.

True most independent parents can afford the fees and the lifestyle quite comfrotably.

But there are parents in DDs'school in particular, many of who come from immigrant backgrounds, who plough every spare copper into the education fund. They would consider the choice to spend it on ponies and skiing holidays utterly risible.

Wjere do I sit? I dunno. I take my hats off to those parents. Can they really be faulted? Their girls are fanbloodytastic and will take obver the world LOL.

Would I do that? Gulp. I'm glad I haven't had to make that choice.

Just wanted to say to the poster who asked about paying for primary then state for secondary that I think you are doing the right thing.

If I was in the position of having to choose, I'd opt for the solid grounding and the small class sizes which all influence a child's enthusiasm for learning.

Of course, many confident able children will do just fine at their local state primary but sadly, many will not. It really depends on the child.

And as I said earlier, we completely discounted the local state options despite them being 'outstanding' simply because they didn't offer what I was looking for.

My DH is an Oxbridge educated lawyer who grew up in one of the biggest slums in the country. He thinks Oxford is more out of touch with reality than our DCs day school. We both agree that fundamentally what we want is for them to enjoy school. We hope that achievement will follow on naturally from that.

Sorry but I can't understand the words "scrimp" and "school fees" put together in the same sentence. No amount of "scrimping" will change the fact that school fees are more than our household income.

Pissfarterleech:
Not just an accent, but a "Weegie" one at that!
No Xenia approved institute could cope with that.

Well, that's my pondering toowordfactory.

I wouldn't make that choice living where I do, but I might living somewhere else. Or maybe I'd just move?

I don't know, but I have known a fair few families making breathtaking scarifices over the years and it's something to think on.

I agree, Wordfactory. I bloody love their education but if paying fees meant that their overall quality of life wasn't great and they never had a holiday or ate out simply because every penny went on fees then I'm not sure I could do it. Though I have met many parents who live just like that.

Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting that all parent could live like that even if they wanted to. I am well aware that a large majority of parents couldn't afford it even if they went without food!

No, I wouldn't. Transport would be an arse, but still cheaper than fees - the private schools just wouldn't be on my radar. And if I were looking around for schools for, say, a child who'd been badly bullied, I don't see that the answer would be to change sector, as opposed to just school.

"Sorry but I can't understand the words "scrimp" and "school fees" put together in the same sentence. No amount of "scrimping" will change the fact that school fees are more than our household income."

Ds is bursary kid from the age of 5 (which school dosent normally do). So believe me we scrimp, I have risked scurvy to keep the food bill down!

Iggly, I think my DH has a 'weegie' accent. He grew up in Easterhouse. Would that give him a Weegie accent?

(sorry, that was to tipoftheslung's question)

lolol at 'ponies and skiing'. Now I would say you would be doing your children more of a favour by giving up those trappings of a wealthy existence and spending the money on their education, but your money, your choice.

Tough titties Grimma we can't all be wonderful mumsies with top jobs and top 20 schools on our doorsteps

I'll survive - I'm quite happy setting my DD the example of a woman having a scientific job which actually makes something, having a good work-life balance, and having the Lake District on our doorsteps . As it happens, her state school has a pretty decent record of girls going on to top universities too.

Glasgow area. Yep, the accent would be strong in him.

lollington mine do have both - well will do next year! I wouldn't give up the ponies for anything! eek!