If you could afford to send your kids to a private school, would you?

[juicychops]

or would you choose for them to go to a 'normal' state school?

just curious what your responses will be

Medicine certainly not rigorous where dH studied (Russel group Uni) nothing more than a joke.

Ghoul - yes we are so glad we ignored the appalled looks of some of the parents at DDs prep and went for the comp. She is so happy and enthusiastic about all her lessons and the many extracurricular clubs - she just bounces in the door at the end of the day!

Also it is so great that she can walk there and back and now has loads of friends just around the corner ( catchment area so small that everyone there is pretty much round the corner!)

Such a change from the 45 mins each way bus journey she had for the prep and would still have if she had gone to the senior school.

One mum I am friendly with whose daughter was with DD at the prep lives very close to the comp also. She wanted her DD to go to the comp but her DH wouldn't allow it as he wanted the "status" of having her at private. Such a shame.

I have the strong belief that if people who CAN afford private school stay in the state system, the schools will be better for all of us, like any other public service.

I try to be coherent with my principles and therefore my kids are attending estate school. Because that is a part of their education under my control and I do not want to fail. I do not want to tell them to believe in the common good but then lead by the example of really caring only about my own.

Having said that, I would act differently if I lived in a country where everybody who can afford to does not use state school, because in those countries, public schools are really bad. I can live according to my principles in the UK and I like that.

iggly as I said, I really don't have a clue which course the reports or universities were referring to.

Carrots - yes status plays a part in this too and it's a shame. I can understand that people want to do the best for their children and that will sometimes be private schools but just to put them into private schools in a panic without even considering other options just seems crazy. I'm glad your DD is getting on so well at her comp. Hopefully my DD will be in the same position in due course.

Quite a few parents here educate their children privately until 11/13 then use the (apparently excellent) local comp. As others have said the rigour and discipline of a good prep will set the children up to have excellent study skills and hopefully to get the most out of the comprehensive system.

We chose NOT to go down that route not because of the status but because we felt a smaller, more pastoral school would suit our dd. She is very sporty and has benefited from a running coach and regular competitive hockey matches. Her best friend who went to the comp is loving it but really missing her sport, we think sport is important so it was an issue for us.

I do think the teachers at the comp are younger and less stuffy than many private school senior teachers which can be a real attraction to year 7s and 8s. Whether they have the discipline skills to sustain that enthusiasm up until gcse and a level is moot.

Isn't it easy to have principles if the local state school offers latin, gets good results etc. etc?

Carrot's statement that the "catchment area so small that everyone there is pretty much round the corner" is quite revealing.

I'm always [sceptical] when people say they wouldn't use private education but are willing to use religion, money invested in a house or tutoring to secure a place at their school of choice. Surely this is no better than paying for education?

Maybe people who choose private HAVE considered state options and didn't like them, but don't want to offend by revealing their views?

I have. Considered state options I mean. I discounted it. Too big, mixed sex and the results weren't good enough.

It's true it is easier to have principles when local state schools are good. We didn't move here because of the good state schools; we moved here because housing in London was so expensive. But the good state schools are a bonus. I wouldn't want my DCs' education to be sacrificed on the alter of my principles so I would consider private if local state schooling options really bad. I will probably put them in for the 11+ in due course (although not if local comp makes promised improvements) even thought I also object to that in principle. It's difficult to live wholly by your principles. If I were a politician I would be pushing for some changes in education policy in this area though.

Dozer - Of course many people have done exactly that but Carrot and I both know families where they are discounting the state options out of hand without even going to visit the school (in some cases not even looking at Ofsted reports) solely because it wasn't private. That doesn't make sense. To look and rule out is at least logical.

Round our way it is easier to get into the private schools. The state schools have tiny, tiny catchments. The infant school DD went to now has a catchment of three streets with the houses selling at minimum £450,000 each. We are now out of catchment for that school, or indeed any other primary in the area. My friend was put on a waiting list and now has to travel 3 miles to take her DD to school when she lives about 700 yards from the local infants.
For juniors there is one school we are in catchment for, and it is pretty mediocre.
We are in catchment of 2 secondaries which are both dire.

So we had the choice to move house or go private. We worked out that by the time we'd moved and paid stamp duty we'd have spent the equivalent of the school fees. So we applied to 3 private schools all of whom offered DD a place.

Mind you, this is West London, land of the state schools surrounded by very expensive houses!

I agree with camaleon and Spero. (Where is Maria33, btw?) I see the appeal of private education, but don't want to raise my son in a world where parental income determines life chances. To the extent that that is already the case, I'd rather be part of the solution than the problem

Maybe people who choose private HAVE considered state options and didn't like them

Everyone with any sense will have considered all available options. At primary, we didn't like the state options - faith school or faith school, to which I have greater ideological objection than to private, it was the lesser of two evils in our view. For secondary - considered all options again, and did like one of the state options (girls GS).

Miggsie - London is a bit of a law unto itself I think. And travelling 3 miles is as much fun as stabbing yourself in the eyeballs daily. Round here 3 miles would take you out to one of the outlying villages of our town and would actually be doable if you have a car. A lot of people who fall outside the catchment areas of the schools or fail to meet the religious requirements end up at these schools. The quality of the schools varies massively depending on the village though. Despite this I am glad we're not looking to apply in London...

I think it depends on the child. What is right for one is not right for the other. I would not refuse to pay for private if I had the money AND felt it was best for the child (at the time).

DS is currently private. I went to grammar (competitive and near top of league tables) and private (not highly academic). DH local comp (very poorly performing academically). So mixed views.

DH benefited from the very large year intake as there were others that were very bright (private smaller years less likely to get very bright-changes a bit later with bursaries/scholarships etc). He learnt to mix well and had to work as had to teach himself bits of the syllabus. He is exceptionally bright and this has prepared him for "life". My private school was disasterous for this "life" preparation. They taught the syllabus, I did no homework (poor effort) they knew I would get good marks in exams so did not bother (I wasn't allowed to ask questions in lessons either as may disturb other pupils). The grammar teachers would take me aside and say "look at this....", they really were great at suggesting ideas and I regret changing school (I liked the look of the sparkly sports facilities).

I think private schools can get stuck in their teaching ways if it gets good academic results without thinking of the pupil later on.

Big school = more options and better facilities
Mixed sex = like the world
Results - well that might swing it for you, but unless you are talking about a school which is really failing its pupils, I would have confidence in my daughter to be one of the higher achievers when the time comes. Not all pro-private posters here are looking at results as the priority.

wordfactory it is very chicken and egg, isn't it?

I think that if you are scraping every penny for private education and can't have days out, activities, hobbies, holidays etc then, unless the state school is bad, the child at a good state school with parents who can afford all those things may well do better.

I have friends who scrimp for school fees and their childrens have nothing outside of school to speak of. They come over to ride my children's ponies as they can't afford lessons and their children are desperate to ride! They can't afford to join us and another family to go skiing and frequently don;t come out with us and other friends for meals or evening events as they can't afford it.

There has to be a balance, that's the key. Children need a good educational experience within school but they also need a quality of life and breadth of experience outside of it.

"I think we had a much better understanding of real life than those who had been privately educated and a better ability to get on with a wide range of people."

Ghoul, that sort of comment just makes me so . Do you think that people who go to private schools only understand unreal life, or that they can only get on with a narrow range of people? It's depressing that someone who went to Oxford can make such a sweepingly silly statement.

Ah yes, hello Xenia :o

Can't say that when I was choosing a career/university course at 18 that what you suggest even crossed my mind. I thought about what I was best at, what I enjoyed, and what others could see me doing successfully.

"It is one of the best things a mother can do for her child - is pick work which enables her to pay school fees for a child at one of the top 20 day schools."

It is one of the best things a mother can do for her child - is pick work which enables her to pay school fees for a child at one of the top 20 day schools.
( Your grammar is wrong there Xenia, tut tut, and you a private school girl an' all)

Ah, well there we are then.

All that raising and feeding good food and listening and reading to and going to zoos and play parks and animal days with, all that breastfeeding and cuddling and teaching to ride and cycle. None of that is of any importance whatsoever because a minimum waged minion can do all that.

Fuck that, just run out of the door the minute you drop them, work your arse off, never see them when they're small but hey, you can stick 'em in a Xenia Approved Educational Facility and you are The Best Mummsy In The Whole Wide World.

The more I read your posts Xenia, the more deluded I think you are.

Is "one of the top 20 day schools" best for your child necessarily?
Ds's private school on results would certainly not be there (we're outside of London!) but it has a great reputation for music and arts which will mean he has to work on something. The small classes help with discipline (needed with Ds!). He is given 1-2-1 for around 3 hours/week to teach him at his level. This would be difficult to find in most schools especially those high performing very popular/competitive schools with larger class sizes.

There are other places more academic but this was what we wanted. We are very happy (but broke!). He will get the results where ever he is (stupid dumbed down GCSEs/A Levels). I want him to enjoy the journey.

Ghoul - are you in the SE near a regal town?! (Love the user name btw!) If you are, I heard a mother raving about the new comp last week, having been private at prep....If not, then ignore me completely