If you could afford to send your kids to a private school, would you?

[juicychops]

or would you choose for them to go to a 'normal' state school?

just curious what your responses will be

Not unless there were particular reasons why they were not thriving at local schools, and here's why.
I think it is better to mix with and learn to get on with a 'broad spectrum' of people as in society - don't like single sex or faith schools for this reason also. My brother went to a top public school (on a scholarship) and it has taken him years to lose some of his naivety about different social and ethnic backgrounds, etc
Dreadful snobbery encountered by my mum at a private school - who has the best pony/holidays/etc etc and if you are one of the less wealthy ones you were 'snobbed out'.
Other subtly different reasons to do with thinking we shouldn't have a 'two-tier' society.
However I would not rule it out if I thought it would save a child from misery, or would consider it if they really wanted it and if they were offered a scholarship on a particular talent or something.

happygardening
"A good state school can foster that empathy and understanding in a child whilst giving an excellent education"
My comment was intended to support of good schools, not denigrate those good independent schools which achieve the same.
My point was that there are state schools which can achieve excellent academic results whilst also allowing a child to mix with children from diverse social backgrounds.

Yes of course comprehensives teach all children that the world is just a great big melting pot! There is no peer system or snobbery at comps of course! [ironic]

Back to the original question- maybe!

Nearly did send youngest as she got a half fees academic scholarship, but actually, because the local grammars take the uber bright stream of kids, she was likely to be at the very top academically without much competition to stretch her further, so she's at the grammar, and "top flight" but with a few other girls to compete with. tHe scholariship also tied her to that school till 18..

If we hadn't the grammars I think we would be selling our bodies and souls to educate all 3 privately though as I do think academic standards are perhaps not stretched enough in fully comprehensive comps- they are busy either "fire fighting" re discipline or working with the strugglers.

Locally, interestingly there is a state school I would be happy to send my kids too if they were NVQ rather than GCSE material though. It's very much like the old secondary modern/grammar divide.

AND I can stand up truthfully and say that there is more social and ethnic mix at my dds private school than there EVER was and is at the local village primary (an absolute hotbed of the striving white middle-class)!

I can and I do.

It's up to me what I spend my overdraft money on. DDs both started out in the state system, but we moved them. The difference is stark.

Worth pointing out that we live in a city where about 25% of children attend Private schools, so it doesn't seem quite as big a deal.

I went to private school and have taught in state schools at both ends of the spectrum. I would happily send DD to a private school were it the right school for her considering all options.

It probably won't be an option, DH earns a very good salary but we live in a very expensive area and I don't work. (Intentionally.) We are lucky to have some exceptional state schools in the area though, so I'm not too worried.

We would also consider home educating were it to be the right choice for our child/soon-to-be-children...so we're open to everything.

Hairytoe, interestingly, my DS (SEN) and a friend of his (serious SN) have been failed by the State system, and are doing better in a small private school, which can afford more staff and one-on-one. (the boy with SN had a statement at State School for 25 hrs 1-on-1, but only got 1 hr a day, as the school "used" the other 20 hrs to help non-statemented children ...)

it's not black and white.

I also know an exclusive prep school that would not have accepted either my DS or his friends.

There is HUGE variation in schools.

DC's school has a high proportion of SN for an independent school, and I know some families have moved there from other independent schools because it meant a DC with SN could attend (and thrive at) the same school as their siblings. It's one of the things I like about it. Unfortunately the nature of academic selection means that the same may well not be true of secondary schools, but I will definitely be looking more at the culture (especially the inclusiveness and freedom to be individuals, and the presence/lack of snobbery) than at the academic results when we choose a school.

I also empathise with the point about activities - yes I could probably find other places where my DC could do most/all of the "extracurricular" activities they do at school, but they would all be >30mins away, often in different directions, and an awful lot of compromise would be required between their different needs and preferences. Not to mention that there is no way I could work FT (which I guess you could argue is academic, since without school fees I wouldn't "need" to work FT except for my own sanity) - as it is, DS can opt into whatever (no extra cost) activities he chooses without complex negotiations about logistics.

lollington - The only ethnic minorities in my brother's year were sons of dignitaries and diplomats.
Of course snobbery and competition about status exists in the public sector too, but it is not an overwhelming culture. Half of my daughter's friends live on the neighbuoring council estate, half have professional parents. I like that.

Not just now, they are in an excellent primary 5 minutes walk away and the nearest (& not best) private school is about 30 minutes drive.

At secondary - it's an option, we can afford it probably but they would have a massive commute which I am not keen on. It's our second choice if they don't get in to the very good local (but not catchment) state school.

I grew up in a very multicultural area 75% were Asians and there were more than that at my school. I agree mixing with those from diverse back grounds is very important I feel very strongly about any types of racism. But ultimately when we decide where and how to educate our children we usually have to accept can't have it all. For me there are some things I can "teach" him and other things that are best taught by others and despite not seeing my DS2 on a daily basis because he's been away at school and has been since he was 7 I believe that my strong anti racist views have influenced him considerably. As many have said education is about choices and no where is absolutely perfect I have looked for a school that is right for him both academically and culturally and also teaches him values that I hold.

We moved DS from state primary to an independent school (Y3) last month - the difference is huge: he is now in a class of 11, has sports every day (not that he loves sport that much but I think it's healthy for him), has specialist teachers for French, music and sciences, has the option of taking Latin, Chess, Choir, German clubs and while he does get homework every day, it is not too onerous and he seems to be quite happy doing it (so far anyway ).

I agree with poster above who said that the most important things we can give our children are love, time spent together and a damn good education.

So juicychops, OP, have you added up the yays and nays?

And which way would you vote, yourself?

A scholarship would probably get you 20% off the fees at the most. You would need to apply for a bursary for 90% off the fees.

AND (I really dont want to rain on your parade) she will be up against children from private prep who will also be competing for the scholarships. I am not for a minute suggesting that your dd isnt bright enough but does the school she is at now get many into this private secondary school?

Yes there are lots of extras although there a couple of girls in dds year who dont do any of them.

Depends on the child, to be honest, but I'd certainly like to have the option.

No. I grew up in a city with many independent schools. I had a Saturday job in the shop that sold most of their uniforms. The behaviour I saw in that shop ? !! Most memorable was the girl who screamed in my face that I had changed the labels on the bright red sports skirts because she was 'no way' that size. Her mother was most solicitous of her poor daughter's wounded pride but didn't seem to feel any need either to apologise to me or to ask her daughter to control her behaviour. I was less startled by the girl's behaviour than by her mother's response to it.

If you go onto the school website it will give you all the details of scholarships and sometimes amounts. If it helps, dds school scholarships are up to a MAXIMUM of 25% and usually between 10% and 15%. It is the bursaries where you can save the most money but these are heavily contested with loads of very personal information required. An academic scholarship at dds school requires an extremely high academic standard and for the last 5 years at least no state school child has ever got one, despite being surrounded by Outstanding ofsted primaries. I do know state school children that have been awarded scholarships but they are mostly the 'all-rounder' scholarship and there has been one art and one music. The all rounder scholarships are 10% off the fees at most. I really dont want to put you off as I dont know the schools involved and the circumstances but that is what happens here.

I realise you are not necessarily going to get so much diversity at primary level as the schools and catchments can be small and it depends on the area, but a moderately sized secondary school should have a good cross-section of pupils from different backgrounds.

It depends where I lived. As my local state schools are fantastic I didn't need to and my DCs have achieved excellent GCSE and A level results then gone on to top universities.

The answer would be yes if I hadn't moved away from the catchment area of a local secondary that was on special measures with ofsted.

Yes. But not a boarding school.

We are looking into private for DS3. I know the other 2 DCs have gone to state schools but with him, we may be able to afford it.

He is 7 years younger that DC2 btw.

The highly academic independent school that I work at offers bursaries (up to 100%). We don't offer scholarships available to children of parents who can afford fees. The school has a huge ethnic mix and is most absolutely not a hotbed of snobbery. That is such an outdated attitude! Students generally have no care on the social background of their friends although maybe parents would like them to. Snobbery may still exist at the absolute top end of the spectrum - Eton and so on but not at most schools. These discussions always interest me - I wonder what the parents who are so against "good" schools are going to do when their grown up children apply for Uni. Are they going to advise that they apply to a lower grade uni so they are not full of "snobs"! I don't think so!