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Education

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Original poster

Do you send your kids to school on their birthdays?

523 replies

charliecat · 12/11/2005 10:24

My dds have the same birthday and this year I am planning on keeping them off so they can enjoy their birthday.
The alternative is sending them, them not having 5 mins to open their pressies let alone play with them and then with a heavy heart sending them off crying. Not for me.
If they got up at 5am and had chance to play I wouldnt mind but we barely have time for anything in the morning as it is so it would be chaotic...anyway...how much trouble am I going to get in for this? Do I lie and say they both had tummy bugs or what? What do you do?

OP posts:

frannyandzooey · 13/11/2005 19:55

Spidermama, I thought you were meant to be recovering from a serious illness. How dare you come in here all guns blazing and liven up this quite dull thread so beautifully?

Blandmum · 13/11/2005 19:56

Yes, I have nothing better to do with my time than to help kids catch up on work they have missed. And the other kids in the class never miss out on that time I have to spend, do they?

If you don't want to send your kids to school, don't, home educate them.

But dont send them and give them mixed messages.

spidermama · 13/11/2005 19:56

MB it was your assumption that those of us who keep our kids off on their birthdays spend all day 'opening presents' which prompted my, admittedly forthright response.

I use birthdays as an opportunity for a fantastic day out which is always extremely educational because my kids choose really inspiring places to go, things to do.

We've been to galleries, Sea life Centres, Zoos, trips to London etc. This is what birthdays are about and I think it very petty to begrudge a child one day off a year for his or her birthday.

spidermama · 13/11/2005 19:57

Franny

Yes I should be in bed but this had tickled my fancy as you can well imagine.

Blandmum · 13/11/2005 19:58

well, I've just had a sixth former do just that and he will probably drop a grade (I kid you not) at A level because of it.

He had the nerve to ask me to give up my free time to tutor him is the work he will miss....I refused.

roisin · 13/11/2005 19:59

How old are your children spidermama? Do you always keep them off for a birthday?

spidermama · 13/11/2005 20:00

They are 7, 5, 3 and 9months roisin. I have and will always let them choose to go on a birthday trip instead of school on that day, yes.

zippitippitoes · 13/11/2005 20:01

I think cc said the day wqs for the kids to play with toys

she didn't have a particularly unusual day planned

SenoraPostrophe · 13/11/2005 20:01

sm - much as martianbish can defend herself, the opening presents comments have all been because that's what the original post said.

But really...since when have birthdays been traditionally big family celebrations like chrsitmas and easter? much better to be with your friends - at school.

I completely agree with mb on sending mixed messages. schools may be flawed, but the idea that going to school is not voluntary isn't, unless your children are home educated.

zippitippitoes · 13/11/2005 20:04

I think it's a hard line to follow for all concerned if having opted in to school (and it is a choice to do so in the UK) you then opt in and out..

Blandmum · 13/11/2005 20:04

In all seriousness, some of the most difficult children I have ever worked with are those who have been given the message that school is unimportant by their parents. Their behaviour often suffers, as does their education (and that of others in the class)

spidermama · 13/11/2005 20:05

Birthdays are big family celebrations in this house with a few close friends.
I think they need to be marked as such.

spidermama · 13/11/2005 20:06

How is giving them ONE day off a year for their birthday sending out a message that school is unimportant? That simply doesn't follow.

JoPG · 13/11/2005 20:06

For DS1's birthday we actually asked him what he wanted to do (strange concept). We said he could do anything he wanted - zoo, theme park, swimming, beach etc. but we also said he could go to school as well if he wanted too. He actually asked to go to school! We then took him strawberry picking after school (again, his choice) and he said he had had the best birthday ever. The moral of the story - don't assume that what you want to do for their birthday is what they want to do. Ask them what they want to do and they may surprise you.

roisin · 13/11/2005 20:07

But do you/will you keep them all off spidermama? Obviously they're young yet, but when they're older will it be OK for them to have a day off school for a sibling's birthday?

We always have special meal's out, and often special day trips for birthdays - but not always on the day itself. But we do all go together as a family, including dh, and sometimes they get to take a friend as well.

zippitippitoes · 13/11/2005 20:07

Spidermama
do all your firends and children's friends take the day off then?..are you going for home school yet, it would suit you so much better I'm sure

Blandmum · 13/11/2005 20:08

Because it does.

It says,

'Whatever has been planned for you today in school is less important than something that we could do at the weekend anyway'

It also infers 'And I'll expect the teacher to give you some catch up'

SenoraPostrophe · 13/11/2005 20:09

sm - because they already get at least 13 weeks off. one absence with no real excuse does indeed send that message.

spidermama · 13/11/2005 20:10

For the record my dd is extremely well behaved in school. So well behaved I believe she's often overlooked. She's also regularly tormented by the sort of people you describe MB so I understand their disruptive influence, but it's too sweeping a statement to imagine that those who take birthdays off school are always disruptive.

Also, (a little OT) children often stay off school because they are deeply unhappy. Deeply unhappy. Their parents are often hounded for breaking the law by failing to send them, when really they should be shown the option of home education.

spidermama · 13/11/2005 20:12

By that logic MB I'd be saying to my child 'whatever has been planned at school is more important than your ambitions for your real, actual birthday'.

I won't shift birthday dates because of school.

SP 13 weeks. Aw! How I wish it were more. They're children ffs they should be running around enjoying life, free to learn at their own pace.
Oh don't get me started. I should be in bed. (cough, splutter!)

zippitippitoes · 13/11/2005 20:13

I think you have to opt for school or home ed..otherwise you are trying to cherry pick and it won't work..as the children get older they will cherry pick too, and they may say they want for example to go to school on their birthday but go ice skating with mates on their birthday instead of school..etc

Blandmum · 13/11/2005 20:14

Home ed then, it is your right.

Enid · 13/11/2005 20:14

blimey

am I alone in finding birthdays not a massively big deal? Yes my kids love their birthday but not to the exclusion of all else.

lockets · 13/11/2005 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

clary · 13/11/2005 20:15

spidermama if that's how you feel, why send them to school at all?

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