Private school or move to area with 'better' state schools?

[queribus]

OK, probably been done to death, but indulge me, please.

Local (junior and secondary) schools aren't terribly good - results well below national average, some bad reputations, mediocre Ofsted.

DD currently in a very good infant school and due to go to a pretty poor junior school in 2012. We've looked a private schools which appear to be very good and I feel would be suit DD very well. The fees are eye-watering, but we could afford them although other stuff would have to go (we also have a DS who's 3 so not just one to consider).

Next town has very good schools - and correspondingly high house prices. We could move to catchment of some excellent schools but this would mean a fairly huge mortgage and moving from somewhere we really like. We'll also be mortgage free in our current house in about five years.

So options are:

1. stay where we are, go with local schools and hope for rapid, radical improvements

2. go private

3. move, taking on large mortgage, to access excellent state schools.

Any thoughts, experiences, guidance most welcome. I'm driving myself crazy going over all the options!

SwitchedOnMum, yes I'm definitely enjoying the weekend!

Not totally free of school expenses as it looks like we will need to keep DS private as unfortunately the boys secondaries round here are dreadful - low attainment, lots of behaviour issues and bullying. It's a bit of a mystery why there is such a difference with the girls comp but the fact the girls comp has a wonderful and inspiring head must be a lot to do with it.

In fact, I was chatting through with DD the reasons for our choice of school for her. I mentioned the misgivings we had about sending her brother to the local boys comp. She told me that her school bus had actually been attacked by a group of boys from this school as she was getting on one morning. That pretty much decides it for me. No way am I putting DS through that.

DD agreed with me as she said she would hate to go to a school like that and would be really worried for her brother if he had to go there.

However, paying one set of fees will not be such a stretch and we can still stay in our house, have some nice holidays etc.

It's just a case of looking at each child individually and doing the best you can I guess.

Menagerie - my own experience of education consisted of starting off in a fabulous, modern and progressive primary which really set me up with basic understanding of the core subjects, confidence in my abilities, and an enduring love of learning.

This grounding stood me in good stead when faced with a move to a different area, a fairly mediocre and old fashioned primary for my last year, and a very mediocre comp (ex sec mod) with very low aspirations for it's pupils.

I was able to overcome the shortcomings of the poor secondary by knowing myself what i was capable of and having the confidence to aspire to it.

I know it may not be what you want to hear, but the way your DCs primary squashes confidence and the desire for learning would really worry me. I would move them if it is possible to get them into a school with a more positive attitude.

Failing that, lots of positive input and extra learning at home could make the difference. Keep bolstering your DC's confidence and work on learning projects at home. Let them know in as many ways as you can that it is OK to want to do the best that you can.

Unfortunately, our local state primary school couldn't be described as nice or 'close-knit'. A local 'village' type school sounds idyllic to me. We live inner city, and are surrounded by quite an impoverished and deprived community. If I had a school like your primary close to me, I'm certain there would be no hesitation in sending my son there.
Sadly there are widespread differences in schools, and much of that is influenced not just by the school ethos or the quality of the teaching staff, but by the backgrounds and morals of the families that go there. I hate to sound at all snobbish (because I'm so not), but there are a lot of rough families who go to our local school, who only aim to live on state benefits, and whose attitude is that the world owes you a living. I know not all people are like that, but around 'here' the general attitude to having kids is that they bring you more income in the way of tax credits, child benefit and housing benefit. I work with such families in safeguarding, so see a lot of this attitude. It's probably skewed my view somewhat, but I'm fearful that my kids will be sucked into this mind set.
The parents of these children do little, if anything, with them at home other than shout, scream, 'f' and blind. The level of language and communication is way below average, and many enter school still not being able to speak at all, let alone support and care for each other.
We aren't in the position to move really. It would skin us we tried. Plus I've lived in the local area all my life...even went to the school I'm talking about, but times and communities have changed considerably.
I say good luck to us all. We all face challenges in life and living well, but it's clear the parents on this forum have weighed up their own situations, are doing the best they can with there kids at the forefront of their minds.
That's the best thing we can give to our children,
xxx

Switchedon, we moved from the inner city because the schools were as you describe, and I'm well aware that in comparison to what our boys would have been offered in London, our school is idyllic. You don't sound snobbish at all. There's a vast difference between snobbery and honesty.
Carrots - it worries me. It worries all my friends. One friend's dad even said recently - take your kids out of that school (he is taking his son out) They're too bright and they're wasted there. There isn't a prep school I'm confident of nearby. the nearest is very good, very academic but also brimful of seriously rich children who end up at Eton. That's not our preferred route, even if we have the money. I want an academic day school with lots of emphasis on extra-curricular fun, and know which school that might be so am just working on getting our boys in there. Good second choice school locally. We are pretty blessed with secondary schools in our area. But I am listening to what you say Carrots, and thinking hard. We have two years at least to go at this school. Or somewhere better...

How much to move and if you choose a private school what it will it cost over the years. If a house move is going to cost eg £30k more and the school fees are £5k per year then the difference isn't a lot. Your new house may gain in value but you may have to put in new windows/heating etc. You need to think about how much the house move will cost in total ie interest on the increased mortgage, fees etc whereas adding the school fees to your present mortgage may be a more viable option.

Dear Pedallleur,
In our case we'd be looking at a mortgage of an extra £70 - £100k (without interest) to move into the equivalent, if not smaller than we've got now, in a better area. I'm certain the costs wouldn't stop there as everyone wants to get their home just how they want it, however small those house improvements are hoped to be. We'd also have additional travel costs for work etc, as well as losing the support network we've built up over the years ....Can you tell I've been talking myself out of moving?
If money was no object we'd be on the move like a shot, but sadly it's a major consideration for us, especially when jobs aren't as secure as we'd like them to be nowadays.
The amounts above would be more than school fees for primary level. If things went totally wrong for us and we lost our jobs or health or something, then at least we'd have a roof over our heads. I guess education and schools are important, but not as important as home, security and well being.
We are aiming to pay for an independent prep school for our 2 boys for as long as feasibily possible, whilst staying put. As I said in an earlier thread, I believe this gives us the best of both worlds. xxx

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/education/article6037113.ece
for an e.g. of how it's done.

Thanks Zeolte.
Great article but I doubt most people are that savvy.
Interesting though xxx