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Original poster

Inlaws pressing for a catholic school but I am not catholic! (boring and long, sorry)

61 replies

OrribleOliveoil · 19/10/2005 09:46

Bit of background - inlaws go to church every week, dh was brought up Catholic and went to Catholic school. Stopped going (to church) when teenager and now isn't interested in the slightest.

Had both girls christened Catholic mainly to stop the bloody hinting inlaws (zzzzzzzzzzzzzz) and dh was quite keen.

However, I am not Catholic and know ABSOLUTELY nothing about it. And I know for a FACT it will be me getting the questions on Saint this and what is confirmation etc.

Dd1 currently goes to a playgroup linked to the CofE school and will hopefully go there. I am happy with this and it is a good school.

Dh now tells me that his dad goes on and on and on about the Catholic school and I think he is getting swayed.

IF she goes to the Catholic school, will she feel an outsider? Will it be a detriment if I know absolutely nothing?

Help! Need to know what to do.

OP posts:
codface · 19/10/2005 09:46

whats the best school?

Original poster
OrribleOliveoil · 19/10/2005 09:46

(is that a record for the number of times Catholic is mentioned in one post? )

OP posts:
Original poster
OrribleOliveoil · 19/10/2005 09:47

Both same (imo). Inlaws reckon Catholic. Dh went there.

Hmmmmm.

Have friends at both, they seem to think catholic has better facilities.

OP posts:
codface · 19/10/2005 09:48

oh god go to the best chool YOU chosse for YOUR kids.
end of

Original poster
OrribleOliveoil · 19/10/2005 09:49

But if the Catholic one is better, would it be wrong to send her there just for that reason?

This is going to turn into a row isn't it?

OP posts:
codface · 19/10/2005 09:50

ah god they a re catholic though?
so whats the problem?

GhostofNatt · 19/10/2005 09:50

I went to a Catholic school (am not Catholic). I loved all the nuns with guitars and the yukky crucifixes everywehre and stuff but did feel left out when we had services and other people were taking communion...

FangAche · 19/10/2005 09:50

OO - My DH and his family are exactly the same! But I'm much more opposed to it than you and have refused to have the children baptised as I have no intention of raising them in any religion never mind catholicism.

My advice to you would be first of all to decide whether you want your children to be raised in the Catholic faith? If not then don't send them to the Catholic school.

Oh and this:

Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic Catholic

...is the record for the number of times the word Catholic has appeared in a post.

CarolinaFullMoon · 19/10/2005 09:51

Can you find out from the school how many of the pupils are Catholics? You could go to mass on Sunday and see how many kiddies there are there - if not many actually go she probably won't feel like an outsider at all.

If you baptised the DDs, presumably they'll end up having a proper first communion, confession and all that jazz though? That would be easier to sort if they're at the Catholic school, as the school will prob do it all for you.

northerner · 19/10/2005 09:51

Read Ofsted reports for both schools and then judge. I ahve a friend who's son goes to a catholic school and they are not catholic, she gets questions from him about god/jesus/saints etc but think you'd get that if dd went to a Cof E schol also.

BTW I'm hoping ds will get into my local CofE school. Visited it last week - lovely school and they have regular TAG sessions in the school hall. TAG stands for Thinking about God!

Also am shocked that a good clean living catholic boy like your dh married someone like you. Did that cause a family rift then?

Racers · 19/10/2005 09:51

agree with codface. where will it end if they persuade you to send your kids to a particular school. if you decide to send her there, make it very clear it's because of the facilities or something and not because they wanted it (if you can find the best way to say that?!)

codface · 19/10/2005 09:51

youll h aev to wait till nearere the time and goa roudn them both
see which you liek and choose
simple.

GhostofNatt · 19/10/2005 09:52

I would say that Catholic school can be fun as long as you are not the only non-Catholic. I genuinely found it all fascinating and i really did love the nuns, although I suppose they are thinner on the ground these days...

CarolinaFullMoon · 19/10/2005 09:52

Isn't it a bit late to decide if they going to be raised Catholics (as Fangache says)? They are baptised, which does kind of involve promising to raise them as - guess what? - Catholics.

homemama · 19/10/2005 09:53

Perhaps the best thing to do is to go and visit both schools (you and DH) and see which one you feel most comfortable with.

She won't miss out because you're not Catholic and school will understand that. BUT, Catholic schools are a big community thing. Families meet at church on Sun etc. So she may not form the same friendships as those girls seeing each other at mass. Ask your DH if he is prepared to take them to mass every week. If he is then fine and if its a good school then everyone's happy. However, if he not keen on this, then ask him why it's so important to him.

I would visit both schools and discuss the level of commitment required for each then make a decision. Remember they're your girls!

Marina · 19/10/2005 09:53

do you know anything about the Christian church at all OOO? By that I mean, are you worried specifically about knowing about Catholicism, or is it that you don't know much about saints etc full stop?
I don't think it will be at all "detrimental" to your children if you are not RC. What really matters is that you are comfortable with a faith-based education, which you clearly are if the C of E school is a good prospect.
Dd's godmother was the product of a C of E/RC marriage where both partners were active members of their church. She was baptised RC, but chose as a teenager to go with the C of E. I think her parents did a good job of keeping both options open for her until she could choose for herself. Her dbro is a militant atheist

codface · 19/10/2005 09:53

i dont see what the issue is here

Marina · 19/10/2005 09:55

I must admit I'm not sure either cod...

FangAche · 19/10/2005 09:55

CarolinaFullmoon - In an ideal world then yes.... BUT...I know plenty of people who have their kids baptised just coz its what is expected to happen after a baby is born (you know, to keep the older ones happy). And they have no intention of instilling any religion into them or sending them to a segregated school.

codface · 19/10/2005 09:55

just choose the school you want weirdypants

FangAche · 19/10/2005 09:56

lol Codface!

Original poster
OrribleOliveoil · 19/10/2005 09:57

I don't mind the religion side of it, quite like them having some sort of religious education, but if I went to the CofE, I would know what to do, Catholic is all Hail Mary and standing and sitting, I know nothing.

I have to decide soon as there are waiting lists for both and she could to the Catholic one f/time next year.

OP posts:
Issymum · 19/10/2005 09:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

homemama · 19/10/2005 09:59

Visit both schools then choose.

Original poster
OrribleOliveoil · 19/10/2005 09:59

I had them christened like Fangache said, to keep everyone happy. It didn't matter to me, but it did to them.

And I am not a weirdypants cod. Shall I just discuss shoes?

Tsk.

OP posts: