Inlaws pressing for a catholic school but I am not catholic! (boring and long, sorry)

[OrribleOliveoil]

Bit of background - inlaws go to church every week, dh was brought up Catholic and went to Catholic school. Stopped going (to church) when teenager and now isn't interested in the slightest.

Had both girls christened Catholic mainly to stop the bloody hinting inlaws (zzzzzzzzzzzzzz) and dh was quite keen.

However, I am not Catholic and know ABSOLUTELY nothing about it. And I know for a FACT it will be me getting the questions on Saint this and what is confirmation etc.

Dd1 currently goes to a playgroup linked to the CofE school and will hopefully go there. I am happy with this and it is a good school.

Dh now tells me that his dad goes on and on and on about the Catholic school and I think he is getting swayed.

IF she goes to the Catholic school, will she feel an outsider? Will it be a detriment if I know absolutely nothing?

Help! Need to know what to do.

Blu - agree on pretending, felt stupid getting then christened tbh, knowing I was never going to go to church again.

And I think it is quite strict, as it should be imo, if it is a catholic school. My friend's child goes and is always at mass. Inlaws would take her to mass but that would leave me out of the loop and I don't want to go down that road.

OO - its not trivial - its quite a big event in your DD's life (and probably will affect your DD2 as well). But you really need to look round the schools. If you don't think your DD will be ready for full time school (or playgroup for that matter) at that age could you request that she only attend half days for the first year?

Do they still have nuns at catholic schools? Don't think I've ever seen a real live nun. A girl at work went to a convent school and she gives it up for nowt now.

lol at 'real live nun'. I have never seen one either.

Bozza - I think she could do half days, she is a v sensitive little soul (with me as a mother as well, ha) so I am thinking of that tbh.

nuns these days are really boring - they don't dress up in penguin-style robes, just rather frumpy navy-blue skirts and sensible jumpers.

we used to have one as a teacher at school. we were convinced she had a hip-flask full of whisky that she'd drink between lessons - no evidence for it, we just knew

Lucy, please don't judge all Catholics by your experience of narrow minded nuns.

OO, Catholics in the NW do tend to be very community based and very churchy but it may be that the school doesn't fill it's places so there may be quite a mix.

As everyone has said, weigh up the pros and cons of each (inc the nursery place) and make the decision that suits you all.

Church schools are usually good. If I were you OO, I would apply for the best schools in your borough. If your daughter is a baptised Catholic, then you are entitled to apply, although generally speaking you need to show evidence of regular Mass attendance to stand the vaguest chance of getting a place as competition is so high.
My ds is in his 2nd year of big school now. Even though I go to Mass, he didn't get a place at our Catholic primary school, so he goes to the CofE school (which in our area is actually better).
Don't be put off by people ranting about indoctrination - they are very unlucky. Most church schools these days are very good.
Best of luck, its a horrible process regardless of faith problems.

If your DH is the Catholic one then it is his responsibility to take them to church etc. He sounds like his heart is not really in the Catholic thing - which IMO means you probably shouldn't send them to the catholic school!

I would check the entrance criteria - you wouldn't get a place in the local Catholic school here because you have to regularly attend the church as well (so maybe you could find out you're not eligible and then use that as an excuse!).

To be honest, the going full time bit from next year would put me off (think my ds is the same age as your dd) - they have so many years of full time school and I think 3 going on 4 is quite small to be doing that.

I also think that if in laws got very involved in the religious aspect of the school it would drive a little wedge between you and school (as you have no interest in the religious side) and that wouldn't be great.

Do what you feel happy with and what's best for little dd.

DD1 went to RC pre-school, attached to a private RC prep school (and it was run by real live nuns). They were really nice and we would have had no hesitation in sending DD there if she had not got a place at the CofE school (it's selective).

We even thought of trying to get her into the local state and church funded RC school (to avoid paying private school fees ) and the head nun offered to write to the head of that school to help us get her a place even though we're not RC at all. We decided against because we wouldn't have known if we got the place until the week before school commenced and certainty was more important to us.

Anyway sorry for the ramble, but there are real live nuns out there and some are even nice people

OO - agree with most of the posts here, just go with which ever school you like the best.

I've just filled out all the forms for ds1 to go to a catholic school from next September. Dh is catholic and the boys have been baptised catholic so I'm happy for them to go to the school (I was bapised CofE but haven't been since I was a kid), but I am a bit apprehensive about having to go to things (mass etc) where I don't have a clue about whats going on. The difference between our situations is that dh takes the kids to church most weeks.
I'm sure there will be other non-catholics there, and the one thing I did like about the school when we looked round was how relaxed it all was, and not a nun in sight!