Does anyone REALLY send their children to private school?

[Mosschops30]

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Rhiann, it was Rhubarb saying that about her daughter - she was quoting from a news article

Sorry - WASN'T Rhubarb

True, wasn't me - was quoting from the BBC! My dd is only 5!

Happy Halloween everyone.

how funny

Sorry about the misunderstanding but the point stands. You feel forced to work for (notice I didn't use the word 'chose')the very system you want abolished . I feel sorry for you.

I too work in a private school and hate it! My dd is in a private school too, not mine. She loves it!

am not sure what your point is rhiann. i dont want to jump the gun or misunderstand you. but what is your point? that people will work where they have to to bring home money to feed their children?

if that is the point then fuck me - thats a lot of the population.

your kind of insunuating that becuase rhuby is working in a system she is against then this warrents pity ? am not sure why?

is it because she works in a system against her principles?

yet you did recognise that there was no element of choice -

is it the lack of choice your pitying?

you seem very ambiguous. and if i may say so rude. especially to rhubarb. reasoned debate is the thing you see. so can you take a step off and see that no one on this thread is actually going to change the world tomorrow. its not worth being unkind to a fellow human being. love everyone,
these are very wise words:
"Hate something
Change something
Hate something, change something
Make something better"

It's interesting how this word 'choice' is being used isn't it. On the one hand Rhubarb says that considering sending children a private school over, for example, to a failing state school, a faith school, a state-funded grammar school (which is highly unlikely to 'choose' them anyway) is my 'choice' on the other hand she is forced into working at a private school to 'earn a crust'. So there's no other possible employment 'choice' around Rhubarb then even though there's plenty of educational 'choice' other than private for me. Hmmm...

If Rhubarb hates the private system and is criticising others for sending their children their and the govt and private schools themselves for letting them exist fine. As I said I used to feel that way myself and in an ideal world I would never think about sending my children to be privately educated. But it strikes me that if this is the case then she shouldn't be actually working for them. I wonder if her employers know her views about the private school system? And the children she teaches and their parents? I'm guessing not. Yet she feels she can tell fellow Mumsnetters why private schools are wrong. You don't see any conflict of interest between enouraging others not to give their money to private schools then taking that money yourself?

Of course you can have socialist views yet still live in a capitalist country but I can't believe you can have socialist views and work for an international business for example. Why the hell would you and how the hell could you when there are other 'choices' around like working in the state education sector for example (which my parner and I both do) or for the NHS. You may find it odd and contradictory but I could never work in the private sector. I am considering sending my children there because I don't think the state sector can provide them with an education that will suit their needs. When it can they'll be first on the list. I recognize this is a selfish choice and one I would never have made before I knew what the maternal instinct was like and what it was really like to be a well-motivated, able student in a poor state school from the point of view of a student and a teacher. And I'm not the one telling other people that private schools are wrong. She is.

I've only skimmed this but agree with Custy - abolish private schools and I, ahem, agree with her but can't quite bring myself to repeat the expression she used , things would change. But hey, it aint going to happen and I'll probably end up paying because schools near us are shite. I used to believe in state education and now I don't and Tone's going to privatise them anyway, McSchools can't be far away. I don't even use the word socialist to describe myself any more .

So you see Custy as teachers in the state system my partner and I are working in our tiny way to improve the system and not just mouthing off and then actually living our lives against our principles. I don't think you'd find too many environmental activists working for oil companies or animal rights campaigners working for breeding labs. Unless they were spies!!

I'll shut up now and let you get on with your 'reasoned discussion'. Obviously I don't understand the rules. Better get back to my marking cos as you say 'hate something change something'

Pardon my interruption but for what it's worth I think you are all a tad bonkers. why can't we just send our kids to which schools we want without being looked down on or sneered at? if i had a choice (which i don't) then i'd abolish private schools & make sure (not sure how though) that all state schools are of a good to high standard by giving them extra funding and encouraging them to raise some funds themselves from events held for such a purpose. Just seems that if you want to send your kids to a state school over private then 'other people' are kind of unpleasant about you, if that's the sort of person that private schooling makes you, and tbh after scanning the thread those for private tend to come across in the same way, then stuff it.

Dont know if the scholarship question has been answered yet. Our school offers up to 50% and is in subjects from PE, music, arts and academic.

We are lucky as our school goes from 3-18 yrs with the children changing to the upper school at 11, the children do have to sit the common entrance test but those in year 6 are more or less guaranteed a place in the upper school.

Our school is now offering junior scholarships of 25%. If you do want your children to sit for them you do need to let the school know, they won't just presume you do. Common entrance exams are at the end of January for next September entry into year 7.

as i understand it rhubarb has little choice about where she works. i ams ure given the opportunity and same income she would work somewhere else. so therefore it is about choice.

as a socialist i am lucky to have a job working for a registered charity.

however should i be made redundant tomorrow i would not hesitate to stack shelves at tesco to feed my kids.
or work in an esso petrol station for minimum wage to ensure an income.

its not like i would chose to work for tesco over say shelter - as the choice is often not there.

i would say that its certainly a dicotomy for rhubarb - as it would be for me. She is the stable breadwinner in the house. and she doesn't have a variety of choice in her situation.

you are certainly allowed to rage against the machine even if you are oiling the wheels becuase the machine is feeding your family and keeping a roof ever your head in the absence of alternatives.

i could work for esso to feed my kids and dispise its ethics -if esso was paying me a wage so i could pay the rent - feed the kids.

the inference is that of choice - the inference is tht rhuby is chosing to work in a private ed system over something more inline with her views. this choice isn't there. you cant say she isn't allowed a view becuase she works in the system.

when rhuby can she rages like a bad m*ther F8cker against the machine - shes the biggest rager i know. one of only errr 2 people i know in real life who actually do something when they can.

very interesting thread IMO. that's all i'm saying tho.

very interesting thread IMO. that's all i'm saying tho.

very interesting thread IMO. that's all i'm saying tho.

very interesting thread IMO. that's all i'm saying tho.

no idea why I said it 4 times...sorry!

Rhubarb is in France, where, yes - surprise! - opportunities to work are very limited indeed for non native French-speakers. So she teaches. And as she also said, only private schools will employ her.
Yes, she made a 'choice' to go to France, but bloody hell, I think that's hardly an immoral decision (and has some extensive background to it as I understand it anyway).
I don't think Rhubarb has been aggressive or critical of individuals. She feels angry that in our society there are people who can easily opt out of a failing state system and give their children a lifelong advantage over others purely because of their wealth. She believes that a good education should be every child's right. I actually think that's hardly even controversial.

Of course Rhubarb has to work to support her family. If she was sitting on her bum citing her principles and letting her kids starve, this debate would be far more heated.

The problem is this is a very emotive subject and whilst most of us agree with her sentiments, we feel that whilst we may technically have a choice, in practice, we don't.

There are always going to be those parents who like the divide, who feel superior because they have a high income and their kids go private. Just like there are always going to be people who see themselves as superior just because they're white.

I really don't believe that most of the mums who have posted on here (myself included) fall into that category. We're just trying to make the best of a bad system either by paying or moving to the right area. The system is crap and utterly shocking and I know how lucky I am to be able to avoid the worse of it.

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holy shit - did you just say that becuase my kids arn't privatley educated i dont work hard enough and that their education isn't my first priority?

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But Koo, for people earning, say, 20K a year or £15K a year each (very, very many people) educating two children privately is NOT a choice, no matter how 'hard' they work or what their priorities are. I really do feel pretty Parp-tastic myself when people imply that they are richer than others because they work harder, when actually in many lines of work, you can work like a dog and slave in jobs that people like me thank God every day they don't have to do just to afford the supermarket shop. I cannot think of a much harder job than working night shifts washing incontinent old people, say, but I know damn well it doesn't pay enough to put a child through a private education.
I am fortunate that when I work, I can earn a reasonable amount in a fairly interesting and well paid line of work. But thank God that everyone isn't a journalist, and there are people out there looking after my frail, increasingly feeble-minded MIL for a pittance.

Private education is something I have and will continue to consider for my own son in particular because of his particular needs, but I still don't think that I can deny that it is unfair. The economics that mean that some people are poor and some are rich is always unfair. YOu may also think it is just part of life or that the cures are worse than the disease in most cases, but I can understand Rhubarb's frustration on this issue.
Good state education should be everyone's right - especially considering how much it costs!