Does anyone REALLY send their children to private school?

[Mosschops30]

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What is it you are hoping to get from a private school that you don't expect from a state school? What is the final outcome you expect that you are pretty sure wouldn't happen if you used a state school or is it more to do with how happy your child is at school now. Do you have a vision for your children?

My vision for my ds and dd who are/will attend state school is that they will have choices open to them and that assumptions are not made at any stage about which road they will go down. I want them to be tolerant and able to mix with all different types of people. I would love them to make a difference but this is probably a lot to expect.

I suppose the thing that state school offers that private doesn't seem to is exposure to a wide variety of people. I'm not just talking race or class but kids from families here eduaction isn't important or kids from families that are refugees. Exposure to this rich tapestry I hope will add depth to my kids onerall personalities.

lmao cam - thats so funny

giggling at cam's message!

My oldest son's secondary class is made up of children from both private and state primary schools. I will be interested to hear if he has any sweeping generalisations to make about this. So far, he as said nothing on the subject and perhaps never will.

Must read this thread, now I am off work for the rest of half term...

Rhubarb, back to your earlier response. I'm surprised to hear that you have experienced the sort of disruption I mentioned happening in inner city comprehensives achieving 20% A-C grades at GCSE (e.g. whole classes walking out) at a private school. At the private schools I know and am considering sending my dd to this would never happen partly because any disruptive students could be permanently expelled immediately. After all the wonderful/ terrible thing depending on your pov about private schools is that they can select their students on the basis of behaviour and academic ability and also get rid of them if they don't toe the line (something which is extremely difficult to do in state schools as we know). Since parents are paying for the privilege of private education they can quite easily vote with their feet if they don't like what's happening in the school (something again which parents at state schools may find very difficult to do because of a lack of available places at good schools as illustrated in this thread)so private schools have to try hard to keep them on side. If the local private school is no better than the local state school (in terms of discipline, academic success, class sizes, whatever) why on earth would you bother?

Also, I think you've missed the point about the 2 billion the govt would have to add to the state system if all private schools were to close. This money would only fund the extra places needed for the private school pupils to attend state schools and not go towards making the state system any better. This 2 billion is actually money the govt is saving because parents are paying it instead as well as their taxes which helps to fund others' education!

Finally, don't be fooled by the Govt's 'inclusion' policy. Students with behavioural difficulties often spend more time outside the classroom than in it (either because they are sent out to cool off or because they're in the head or head of year's office). A disruptive student in a state school makes everyone suffer (others in the class, teachers and him or herself).

I'm sure everyone on this thread would agree that everyone should have access to a high-quality free education (and preferably at a nearby school without a religious affiliation) but sadly this is not the case. This is why some parents choose the private option like many of the politicians who obviously don't feel they can/should use the system they have created and maintain.

I agree parents who can choose this option are privileged to an extent but as pointed out by others they are not all wealthy. I value my children's education over lots of other things. Others may choose the state option out of principle and others because they can't afford to go private and others because they simply don't see education as a priority. I know many parents who have Sky TV, a flash car, designer clothes and no books in the house for example.

I know it's terribly un PC but it's easy to say how wonderful it is to mix with a diverse group of people but it may not be quite so much fun if you're an 11 year old stuck with 29 of these people when you want to learn and they don't until 3.30 five days a week. Do you choose to spend the majority of your time with a 'diverse mix of people' or do you find yourself gravitating towards people with similar interests as you?

Phaedria, holy cow! What did you say to her? Can't believe anyone has the nerve to say things like that, mind you my neighbour knocked on my door a couple of months ago when I answered the first things she said was "you look like a bloody tart in that showing off your tattoos" (was wearing a vest top in my own home!).

Eaney - love the vision, but actually part of my expectation from my children's school experience is that they will be literate, numerate and gain some qualifications (which will of course open up choices to them in later life). If they fail to get into the selective state secondary school which is a couple of hundred yards away then they will be at a school where 11% of children get 5 GCSEs incl Maths and English (and there are 5 other schools in the borough with lower results!). I have difficulty in believing that all 89% of the children who leave with fewer qualifications will have as many choices open to them those who had gone to a non-selective private school, though the latter might have missed out on the chance of missing with people who don't give a f**k. I suspect that they will continue to have the opportunity of mixing with such people for many years to come.

There are many great and good state schools. But there are some that are failing. I truly have difficulty with the fact that you would send your child to a failing school in order to create a range of social experience for your offspring. Or that you have no vision of having your children gain any qualifications.

We also want the boys to mix with a whole range of people - we find that the local parks provide plenty of opportunity for this (and they're free too).

Eaney, I'm not anti private - if there's no alternative. But I think in the majority of cases there is isn't there? So on the whole I'm with you, as long as the school is OK it's really down to you kids to work hard & pass isn't it? They can fail private just as well as they can fail state can't they? It just seems that some people - and please people, don't go getting all stupid over this - think that all private schools are better than all state schools and they are quite definately incorrect are they not what what....

cam!

What do I want for my children at school? Happiness, safety, the opportunity to truly fulfil their potential and discover passions and interests, friendship and support. I do hope they can get that in our local primary school. I do know that not all children do. I would certainly not compromise my children's happiness and safety for any ideals I have. I hope I wouldn't have to compromise the other things on my list either.

oi scummy do you know you were influential in my decision to send ds2 private (because you said it was important that the local state school had such a ropey attitude to ASD). I listen to you!

Aloha, is it fair to assume that the nature of your compromise might not be one where you find a sudden interest in regular church attendance?

I'm responsible for driving you into the arms of the private sector, bb? lololololol That's really funny! Hope ds2 loves his school. Has he started yet?

Can't people just be entitled to their own opinion and leave it at that without trying to sneakily belittle others that you'll never have to meet?

God no! I won't be godbothering to get ds into any school. I'd be more likely to go on the streets to pay fees

More chance of DD mixing with children of refugees at her private school than at a local state school round here, I think. Prob boring to repaeat that her class has parents of many different backgrounds, just like DH and me (NZ/UK, lived/worked in a number of countries) whereas local state schools are pretty much full fo people who are v local, going back generations have supported Derby County!

I once saw a sign for 'Escorts - £75/hour plus bonus' and thought it wouldn't take many hours even w/out bonus to pay school fees...

I too hope for some qualifications as that widens their choice. I probably expect qualifications. Perhaps we are lucky, our state primary has a very diverse mix of children, although it is probably not representative of the area as there are not enough white children, and expects 11o% from the kids. Currently there are 4 white children in his class.

Currently ds has such a strict teacher he was getting miserable. When I went to parents evening I was pleasently surprised to see that she was strict but knew exactly what ds was capable of. There is no chance of a child coasting with her. I suspect some teachers have lower expectations of their charges. Interestingly DS was not happy being pushed but would I move him when I know accademically he is being advantaged by this.

Living and working in London makes me feel that an ability to mix with all diferent types is essential. Easy for me to be an idealist when the primary school ofers so much not just accademic success. Hope my experience continues to be like this.

Not yet scummy- he starts in Sept. But it is perfect for him (and they do love children with ASD there- unlike the local primary where they "drive them out")

The trick is to find the school that suits your child (if you can) for some people the choice includes more schools, including private schools, church schools and a variety of state schools, whilst for others they are lucky to get their child into a school that is acceptible to them at all. My children are at a state primary school that has just recieved a "satisfactory" Ofsted report, and has pretty average results. But for my two it is a place that we are very happy with. For myself, I have never experienced such poor behaviour or classroom management skills as when I moved to a top (and thus very expensive) public school for sixth form. Much of it is about individual teachers, their skills, and how they relate to your child (and how your child relates to them). Ultimately it is a bit of a lottery, you do your best to find the right place, and then from then on in it's a matter of careful watching, and to be honest crossing your fingers.

HI I'm back!!

I've been doing a wee bit of research on private schools, in fact I went into the OFSTED website and had a look at its findings for private schools. What shocked me the most was that a lot of private schools, I'll just mention 2 in London, Dallington School and Charterhouse Square School, do not as yet check their staff members with the CRB. They say that measures are in place to do this, but the CRB has been going for a long time, how long do these schools need to put this into place? And will it be the same next year?

Also I found this article on the BBC News website about scholarships:

[However critics say scholarships are window-dressing. They point to the very high fees charged at schools like Eton or Rugby and ask how schools which charge so much more than the cost of state schooling can justify the tax benefits of charitable status.

Others point out that, with some notable exceptions, the independent schools are willing to offer financial support to the gifted and talented but are not quite so keen to welcome the difficult and fractious or, even, the child of average abilities.

A recent Fabian Society report by Harry Brighouse urged the prohibition of selection at independent schools as a condition of continuing charitable status.

The change in emphasis in scholarships may be welcome but much of the help is still offered in order to attract the very bright, the sporty or the musically talented.

This timing gave them first pick of the crop and allowed them to charge parents non-returnable deposits

A few years ago, because of uncertainties over state school allocations in my area, my elder daughter took the entrance tests at a couple of local independent schools.

She was offered two different scholarships, each worth one-third of the fees. I felt grateful at the time, but looking back I have to wonder whether that help should really have been offered to those whose financial need was greater.

The independent schools also made sure they made their offers before the state school admissions were decided.

This timing gave them first pick of the crop and allowed them to charge parents non-returnable deposits before they knew which state school offers they would receive.

In fact my daughter stayed in the state sector but not before we had lost a hefty deposit. I couldn't help but feel that it would have been more "charitable" if the independent schools had kept to the same admissions timetable as the local state schools. ]

I'll find more, but I just wondered what everyone thought of this?