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Original poster

I have just visited a Prep School and I am in shock...

156 replies

WerthersOriginal · 25/01/2011 10:26

My DH and I went to state school. We have done ok and have good steady jobs with a modest income. We have 2 DCs aged 2 and 6. We have always been anti private schools, not sure why as we had never set foot in one. I was watching a thread last week about private schooling and a lot was said on there that made me question my views. DH and I agreed that perhaps, we ought to visit a couple for interests sake.

We have just done that and OMG....

This schools is great. The facilities are incredible. We toured the baby room (nursery), the Pre-Prep Dept (2.5 to 7yrs) and the Prep (7 to 11 yrs) and I was surprised that at the class sizes, the resources they have, the curriculum, the sporting, art and musical facilities. The school calender itself is something else.

Our local state school is absolutely fine but miles away from this school. Surely, having specialist subject teachers at Year 3 is an advantage!

We have 2 more to visit but we are hooked. I am ashamed to say that I knocked pvt schools without actually seeing what they have to offer.

OP posts:
EdgarAleNPie · 25/01/2011 13:15

well that's it - i've seen the school i want DD to go to. I've placed it as first choice.

to be honest, what i really wanted was to be four again so that I could go there.

now i wait a month to find if she can go there, or not...

so there is some choice. But if i could make school fees there would more.

c'est la vie.

happystressedmum · 25/01/2011 13:29

My DS attends a private school (I went to state school and whilst have done well really had to struggle and study whilst working for an additional 7 years) and wanted the best start for him. Class size is 15 with a TA as well. Yes facilities are great but they do push them hard and he is currently in year 4 and has lots of homework every night which I disagree with. They do have lots of traditional values in terms of respect for one another which I like. I still want him to have a childhood and not just to push him academically. having said that he is at Yr 6 level in most subjects and has a reading age of 11. Its a difficult decision and I guess it does depend on money and schools in your area. There is a lot of competitiveness as to whose husband earns the most money and I am one of the few mums who work so fit a bit of an outsider. It is a huge commitment financially and could you afford to send another child to private school if you have any more children? I am not sure we have doen the best/right thing but you do what you think is the best!

happystressedmum · 25/01/2011 13:31

Gramercy - I think I know the two schools to which you refer!

mamatomany · 25/01/2011 13:33

I think parents are more hung up on the "environment" (i.e. nice surroundings) than the kids are.

Completely agree, a pleasant school run is a factor IMO, along with a nice social scene, pleasant parents and shared values. If you can get that for free why wouldn't you, I think we need to move house and catchment for the next DC's schooling if i'm honest.

Original poster
WerthersOriginal · 25/01/2011 13:34

I already have a son at a good state school, 5 mins away from home.

I was never exposed to a pvt school enviroment and have always said that if a state school is good enough, why pay.

When I read through some threads last week,I learnt more about private schools and we decided to check them out.

The school we went to has 15 children in any one class - it was a different scene to what i am used to. My son is doing well at his well, but he is the type of child who will do well anywhere.

We have two more schools to view and research and we will make an informed decision based on our findings.

I appreciate that we are viewing these schools because we can afford them

OP posts:
IngridBermann · 25/01/2011 13:35

I don't decry private schools because I don't think they're any good.

I just think it's an unfair system where some can afford them and the rest of us have to put up with a short staffed, underfunded state system.

IngridBermann · 25/01/2011 13:36

a bit like the NHS vs BUPA etc

Wonderful if you can get it. Just, well, most of us can't.

Alouiseg · 25/01/2011 13:45

Some are good, some are bad, some are indifferent and some are shocking.

Some children will thrive in all of those environments, some won't. My children were at a private school from 3-11, they are now at a Comprehensive school which has smaller class sizes, larger classrooms, vastly better teachers and an amazing head.

...treat every school on it's individual merits and dont make assumptions til you've seen them in action and spoken to parents who've been there more than a few terms.

...and to Grammercy, that's not a chip on your shoulder, its a whole plank of wood! The carpark at the comp is also full of swishy hair, sunglasses, 4x4's and they have their own show jumping and dressage teams.

BlessingsGalore · 25/01/2011 13:46

That's just life IngridBermann. I'm sure you're better looking than me, is that unfair?

propatria · 25/01/2011 13:58

In Don?t Vote!, he slams a culture of ?gimme rights? and demands personal responsibility. When his 12-year-old daughter complains that life isn?t fair, he tells her: ?Honey, you?re cute. That?s not fair. You?re smart. That?s not fair. You were born in the United States of America. That?s not fair. Darling, you had better get down on your knees and pray to God that things don?t start getting fair for you.?

Thank you Mr P.J.O"ROURKE

stealthsquiggle · 25/01/2011 14:11

as I find myself saying far too often to DS, "life doesn't come in 'fair'"

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 14:15

Blessings
I still think your position, even if it was in response to an earlier comment, that children in private schools are happier remains an excruciating generalisation.

My dcs are in private schools and love them. My dcs friends are in lots of different school including four different state schools. They enjoy their schools too.
All my nephews and nieces are in state schools - they are were happy to.
I know one child who was bullied and happy at her state school. But I also know another girl who is moving to dds school because she was tense, sad and over whelmed at her private school.
We moved ds1 from a school at 11 because it was not providing him with much pastoral support even though it was a top 50 ranked private school.

Tit for tat snipeing based on nothing but defensiveness don't help discussion or the ridiculous divide.

Xenia · 25/01/2011 14:15

Life is unfair. It's unfair to be born to a mother who made a poor career choice such that she cannot afford fees (and a host of other things) but that's how life is.

On schools it depends what you want. Our 5 have been / are in private schools as was I. Always look in prep schools at the destinatinos of leavers - do they go to good schools after or not so good ones; how many scholarships do they get to those schools.

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 14:16

'bullied and unhappy '

mumto2andnomore · 25/01/2011 14:20

I wouldnt send mine to private school if we had all the money in the world, mine are at state schools doing great and are very happy. Each to their own but dont say that private school children are happier thats just ridiculous !

GrimmaTheNome · 25/01/2011 14:20

a mother who made a poor career choice such that she cannot afford fees

Ouch. There are many reasons why most people can't afford school fees, you know.

Hullygully · 25/01/2011 14:21

ere we go ere we go ere we go

IngridBermann · 25/01/2011 14:23

Blessings, I might well be better looking than you and that isn't fair, no, but it doesn't make it right either. And education is so much more important than looks. Surely within a system we have some control over there should be some movement towards trying to make it fair?

The majority of children are not privately educated and suffer from underfunding of schools.

The minority have better funding in their private schools.

I would like to see all children educated within a system which gives them equal chances based on their ability and not their parents' wealth.

IngridBermann · 25/01/2011 14:24

Xenia, if all women made the right career choice you wouldn't be able to get a cleaner for love or money. And private schools would be oh, so ordinary.

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 14:27

My hat is nicer than yours hully, you fucking pleb

GrimmaTheNome · 25/01/2011 14:28

My DD was very happy at her private primary, I think happier than if she'd gone to the state school. She's even happier at her state secondary, moreso than I think she would have been at any of the private available to us.

Where you have choices, you choose what you believe is right for your kid at that stage.

crystalglasses · 25/01/2011 14:28

If parents don't like the idea of private schools, have a go at the government that enables them to exist, not the parents who can choose to send their dc to one.
I sent my dc1 to private school just before the introduction of the national curriculum into state schools. At that time I was appalled at the low standards and expectations in my local state primary schools (I visited them all at the time and spoke to the teachers so I know what I know). I had no intention of going private until then.

Since the introduction of the nc, standards in state schools have shot up and were I looking round today I would probably choose a state school because the oportunities for pupils are so much greater than they were and we as a family would have a better standard of living

Hullygully · 25/01/2011 14:28

I have a fascinator.

It makes your hat look so state school.

BlessingsGalore · 25/01/2011 14:30

So Ingrid, we should all have equal wealth and education so no one can differentiate between anyone? Then the beautiful ones can have it all!

I'm no looker but rich. You may be poor but gorgeous. Let's all use our own talents/luck to it's best advantage!

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 14:32

I have a nice muff.
[ner]

I am also rich and beautiful. One day I will pay someone to be beautiful for me

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