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Original poster

I have just visited a Prep School and I am in shock...

156 replies

WerthersOriginal · 25/01/2011 10:26

My DH and I went to state school. We have done ok and have good steady jobs with a modest income. We have 2 DCs aged 2 and 6. We have always been anti private schools, not sure why as we had never set foot in one. I was watching a thread last week about private schooling and a lot was said on there that made me question my views. DH and I agreed that perhaps, we ought to visit a couple for interests sake.

We have just done that and OMG....

This schools is great. The facilities are incredible. We toured the baby room (nursery), the Pre-Prep Dept (2.5 to 7yrs) and the Prep (7 to 11 yrs) and I was surprised that at the class sizes, the resources they have, the curriculum, the sporting, art and musical facilities. The school calender itself is something else.

Our local state school is absolutely fine but miles away from this school. Surely, having specialist subject teachers at Year 3 is an advantage!

We have 2 more to visit but we are hooked. I am ashamed to say that I knocked pvt schools without actually seeing what they have to offer.

OP posts:
TimeWasting · 25/01/2011 10:29

Well that's what you pay for isn't it? Betterness.

BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 25/01/2011 10:30

okay then.

Hullygully · 25/01/2011 10:32

Yes, they are better, on the whole.

However, you aren't going to win yourself many friends by expressing this view as the majority of people can't afford it/ choose not to.

Normantebbit · 25/01/2011 10:34

Well ok.

LoisSanger · 25/01/2011 10:34

Well yes I would assume that if I am paying more for something that it will have advantages. Surely you realised that before.

AMumInScotland · 25/01/2011 10:36

If they're a reasonably successful private school then yes they'll have better facilities, and probably smaller class sizes. Not sure why you were surprised at that?

But those things don't necessarily mean that the school will be better for your child. It doesn't mean it'll be worse either of course! You still have to talk to the teachers and get a feel of their attitude, and decide whether those match well with your child and your own ideas about education before you can make that call.

stealthsquiggle · 25/01/2011 10:40

and.....?

Not sure what you are trying to achieve with this post?

I would say, though, in making decisions, don't get too blown away by the facilities (not easy, I know - DH was the same when we looked at a school and I realised quite how much I took that bit for granted Blush)- look at the children and how happy/confident/secure they seem and imagine your DC in the school and whether it would be a good fit for them.

Original poster
WerthersOriginal · 25/01/2011 10:42

I was really just sayin, dont knock something till you have seen it.

I didnt mean to stir any trouble

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 25/01/2011 10:44

fair enough Smile - and that cuts both ways, I think - independent school advocates should look at the state options before they judge.

TimeWasting · 25/01/2011 10:46

I doubt anyone would think that private schools didn't have small class-sizes and good facilities.

The problem with it is that we can't all afford those sorts of privileges and don't like being reminded of the disadvantage we and our children might suffer as a consequence.

Litchick · 25/01/2011 11:24

Before I had DC I would have never even considered private schooling.

I had some very strong things to say to colleagues who put their children in them (despite living in a dodgey area of London...I didn't know, did I ?).

Even after I had DC I was adamant that they would go the local primary.

Then someone suggested we at least look at the prep school nearest to us. And OMG, blown away.

In some ways I regret having ever been to see it.

NothingDuck · 25/01/2011 11:35

Sometimes you are forced into the private sector. Our local state school has a church attendance requirement and I refused to go down on my knees for fees.
Admittedly we are in the lucky position of being able to afford it. Not so for everyone.

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 11:39

You should always look at every school available too you unless you have a strong moral position one way or another.

It always astonished me that apparently intelligent people will assume that all private schools are like x and all state schools are like y.

So stupid.

I am glad you like the school.
I am sure the lesson to actually go and get information for yourself rather than basing assumption on hearsay and nonsense will be helpful in future.

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 11:41

That last sentence sounded snarky but it was genuine. I had to learn to go and look and figure out for myself. I believed a lot of my fathers opinions and those of my peers until I was about 25. [sheep]

emy72 · 25/01/2011 11:42

Hmmmm I have to say I didn't have the same experience at all!

We looked round all the private pre-preps when my DD didn't get a place initially at our local school.

I wasn't blown away at all.

Class sizes were roughly the same (25 with a teacher and a TA compared to 30 with a teacher and 2 TAs so similar ratios), facilities for the pre-preps and preps squished and crammed and same resources. Also all the private schools around here follow the NC.

I guess we are rural though and most schools have outdoors space and lots of facilities. Maybe different in London.

I can't comment on secondary or juniors, just on pre-preps. So not always the case you describe.

gramercy · 25/01/2011 11:42

I know there are brilliant prep schools out there, but I should just offer up that I visited two and was not impressed.

One was slightly shabby (no harm in that) but the head seemed slightly desperate. And worse than that, a bit flirtatious which was rather embarrassing.

The other looked very beautiful - old house, nice grounds etc etc - but the parents . I'm sorry, but when I eyeballed them outside the school gates they looked like they were on a casting call for "Essex Wives". 4X4s, blonde hair, sunglasses, etc etc - and, ahem, unfortunate accents. I know a few parents who have removed their dcs from this school because all that glisters is not gold.

You get all sorts at the dc's state school, but no loadsamoney types.

IndigoBell · 25/01/2011 11:42

Yes, the school has smaller classes, and yes it has more extra-curricular stuff.

But that doesn't necessarily mean it's a better school.

That is the problem with looking round private schools. You get blown away by the stuff you can see.

Just always remember your real values and goals. I presume your long term goals are for your children to grow up to be happy, confident, loving, etc, etc.

Don't confuse a 'private education' with 'happy, confident, loving, adults'. Obviously some do, some don't.....

Anyway, nothing to do with me. The only private school anywhere near me is selective - and so won't accept my children.

eaglewings · 25/01/2011 11:44

Education is more than academic lessons and sporting, music art etc

Its also social interaction, lifes lessons and learning to be independent

One of my kids went to private pre prep for a few years and it was the right choice at the time but I never managed while he was there to teach him how the majority of people live

His time at a wonderful local school with a lovely cross section of people, including those from a traveller community and other faiths has made him more rounded

WimpleOfTheBallet · 25/01/2011 11:45

Prep schools are like other schools...some are great, some middling and some are crap.

BlessingsGalore · 25/01/2011 11:48

What a refreshing post OP. So many people decry private schools and they too have never seen one. It is so narrow minded.

It reminds me of when I asked OH to drive up to the front of one (we live in the country) and he was really anti the whole things. Anyway we rocked up outside the old mansion and he said, "Right, he's going there!" LOL!

P.S. For all who go on about happiness, I would say that more kids are happy at private schools than they are at state schools. It's just the anti-brigade will say whatever it takes to try and justify their decisions on why private schools are bad.

Rafi · 25/01/2011 11:49

We looked round some private schools (North London) but the ones we saw ranged from fairly ok to frankly weird. Then we found a state primary that left them all standing.

We might look at private again for secondary but right now DD couldn't be anywhere better than where she is Smile

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 11:50

Blessings
I have two children at private schools but think that making a generalised comment about the relative happiness of children in private or in state schools is ridiculous.

Hullygully · 25/01/2011 11:51

There is another Very Important Fact to remember - at private schools you are the paying customer and get treated accordingly. Makes a huge difference.

pagwatch · 25/01/2011 11:52

And the hats are better. Just look at mrs rivers.
That is important too

Hullygully · 25/01/2011 11:53

Don't forget the kilts and the 75 pieces of games kit.

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