I have just visited a Prep School and I am in shock...

[WerthersOriginal]

My DH and I went to state school. We have done ok and have good steady jobs with a modest income. We have 2 DCs aged 2 and 6. We have always been anti private schools, not sure why as we had never set foot in one. I was watching a thread last week about private schooling and a lot was said on there that made me question my views. DH and I agreed that perhaps, we ought to visit a couple for interests sake.

We have just done that and OMG....

This schools is great. The facilities are incredible. We toured the baby room (nursery), the Pre-Prep Dept (2.5 to 7yrs) and the Prep (7 to 11 yrs) and I was surprised that at the class sizes, the resources they have, the curriculum, the sporting, art and musical facilities. The school calender itself is something else.

Our local state school is absolutely fine but miles away from this school. Surely, having specialist subject teachers at Year 3 is an advantage!

We have 2 more to visit but we are hooked. I am ashamed to say that I knocked pvt schools without actually seeing what they have to offer.

Pagwatch, I was replying to a response from another member not making an out of the blue comment.

Frankly children are happier because bright and the less able aren't left to their own devises but more important the way teachers deal with bullying in state schools is appalling. Virtually every state school primary child that I've known who has moved into a prep was because of bullying or understimulation, both of which left them miserable.

Have you visited any state schools, OP?

I actually think the one ds goes to offers more than the nearest preps. The class sizes are large, but small doesn't always mean better. Really.

I have considered private for secondary (despite my dislike of a segregated system) but have decided instead to use a fraction of the money saved in fees on activities outside of school, and maybe tuition if need be. Oh, and holidays. And a nice car

blessings
please explain further...my DD is in a private school and I would defend my choice to anyone but I don't get your comment that:

I would say that more kids are happy at private schools than they are at state schools

I had much the same view and was very anti private school, until I got a teaching job in one. (It was the only school giving permanent contracts at the time and I didn't fancy doing supply). I've been with the school for 11 years and I absolutely love it. So much our DDs will go there.

I know what the OP is trying to say - I was surprised at how much I liked it.

I agree with those who say look at your values and make sure that the school will match with what you believe.

We disagreed with private education for our DCs on principal (happy for others to have different views). We had the opportunity to send them to private school with someone else paying the bill. Now that was a test! However we stuck with our principal and have never regretted it.

Why were you anti private school? What was it that you didnt want for your DCs? Has the school you saw challenged that or were you just blown away by the facilities?

Without private school fees to pay there are an awful lot of 'extras' you can provide yourselves.

Be true to yourselves.

Blessings - I didn't say about whether they are happy as kids - I said whether they are happy as adults. Big difference.

No one knows the answer to the question. Just saying make sure you think (and research) the full implications - not just the current year, or their educational years.

I am anti private schools (in most - but not all - circumstances). However like I said - it doesn't matter whether of not I would like to send my DC to a private school (we can actually afford to) - The private school won't take my DC - because they are selective and my children don't meet their selection criteria.

Blessings - in many private schools the less able are quietly shunted out the door before they have a chance to screw up their stats. Others wouldn't admit them in the first place.

And the match teas. The cake.

WerthersOriginal - just a word of warning. Do look behind the nice classrooms and sports pitches and the small class sizes to see what is being delivered. It is very variable from one Prep to another.

Also, a lot of Prep schools are under financial pressure. If they have very small classes they will be losing money and cant surive long.

Lastly, look also at their exam results, which schools their pupils go on to. A Prep that feeds plenty of pupils to the top local or national private or gramar schools is one to go for.

Some Preps (including the one my DSs go to) are no better than a good state Primary school.

Loads of wine to get you through the excruitating and endless plays and concerts.

Hang on, weren't you the poster who told everyone on here you were going private because the states system was so crap, and as a result were getting your pennies together to go private? Last week? So bit odd to say you'd knocked private schools

Apologies if I'm mistaken

Once you've looked around a good private school it's awful trying to make do with anything else knowing there are other children in the world being treated to such lovely environments. We went back to state for 2 years, the children were fine, I hated it.
I've never known anyone look around our school and not want to move heaven and earth to send them there.
We are delighted with our girls school, worth every penny.

So many misconceptions:

Numbers have actually risen this year so very few schools are in trouble.

There are many non-selective preps that will be very happy to take a child. Shunned is a very emotive word? In fact most private schools are non-selectives.

Why would good facilities, smaller class sizes make you a less happy adult than a state school pupil?

Picking a prep that only feeds to top schools is not the be all and end all. Some people are happy for their kids just to be nurtured and happy. Of course many preps do this and still get great results. DS is at a very caring prep, it is non-selective and is sends most of its boys to the most selective school in the country aswell as other top non-selective schools.

Some preps are crap and some state schools are and most adults are unhappy because of crap parenting not the school they go to.

Interestingly, I did the same for my dd - didn't go to private school myself but did not want to rule it out just because I hadn't experienced it myself. Visited our local 'ofsted outstanding' private school whilst choosing her primary school and I would agree with all the good points raised by the OP, however I felt you both gained and lost. Academically, yes incredible and subject specific teaching from y2 at this place. But the limited range of social interactions due to extremely small class sizes and such a large catchment area was a concern for me.

Close friendships that can be nurtured and within reach are also an important part of development. Extra curricular activities were extremely expensive and I actually found it rather sad and disconcerting to see 5 and 6 year olds sat at their own desks in silence working through activities. Of course it's not like that all the time, but there was something rather stifling and too adult about it. Discipline is of course very important and the ability to concentrate on a task given is great, but it left me feeling that once school age comes, fun is out the window and achievement is the focus. Our local primary school is very good and has a good dose of both so decided that at least for primary, private is not for us. Interestingly, friends from near by who did choose the private school did so because they thought it was great that they did project work and more structured teaching time in the preschool. I don't agree with that, worked in Norway, Sweden and Finland - scandinavian system is one of the most successful in the world and formal learning doesn't start until much later

Will re-evaluate at secondary depending on quality of local state school at the time

gramercy your description of diabolical parents you wish to avoid sums me up

4x4- check (we have horses and dogs)
long blonde hair - check
sunnies - always.
accent - yorkshire, I'm afriad. Is that better or worse than Essex?

I'm a successful writer, DH is a lawyer, we are also foster carers.
I don't know any WAGs.

If I said I looked round the playground of a state school and the parents were scruffy, chavs or not very well off then I would have been flamed. Private schools are richer (and I don't mean financially) places by not have narrow minded judgemental parents in them.

Judging someone by an accent or how they look.

Litchick, I am no glamour puss but always wear sunglasses as they function as a hairband to my awful mop of non-blonde hair and my eyes hurt in natural light!

Close friendships that can be nurtured and within reach are also an important part of development.

Can I ask how many people do you know from primary school ? v's specialist teaching from an early age, it's a complete no brainer for me.

DS has an hour break at 10:30am each morning where he goes and builds dens in the woods. He then has another hour before tea at 6pm (if he stays) where he plays with the other kids. That's more than most kids get so I think his development is being catered for. Private schools have to provide everything and more or they would not function!Not sure how inner city private schools fair but then the same would go for inner city state schools.

I had opposite experience to OP too and this is in an area of london crammed with so-called prestigious private schools and inner-city primaries

Each school is differet, you can only ever compare one against another. Not a category against a category

Go and see for yourselves and make up your own minds

My neighbours didn't bother looking round our local outstanding primary, which you can actually see from the back of our houses, because it's an 'inner city state school'. So prejudice cuts both ways.
I actually did visit both sorts of school before making a decision. When visiting the private ones I was blown away by the total absence of outside space, the fact that one of the heads seemed drunk, that one of the schools was rigorously selective for entry at reception, that I would have to pay congestion charge to drive my kids there each day, that my children would have less space than a battery hen...
Btw what's with the obsession with small classes? Doesn't research say optimum class size is 25 or something? Admittedly smaller than a state school, but not 15.

I am sorry - but this OP has really irritated me. Is your point that ...

A) You and your dh have done well enough w/out the aid of Private education and therefore can now afford to consider Privately educating your children?

B) That the pope is a catholic?

C) That bears do their 'business' in woods?

D) Or are you really surprised that paying for an elite education = better facilities. That Money = privilege/ advantage and that that genuinely surprises you?

Sorry I know my post sounds all bitter and twisted but honestly[sceptical]

Yes, you get better facilities, smaller class sizes etc, but remember it does not always give you better teaching.

Also, as someone else mentioned, I think parents are more hung up on the "environment" (i.e. nice surroundings) than the kids are.

yorkshire vs essex.

tough one.

as an ex-Lancastrian, i'm going to have to go for Essex as better...

i also toured a couple of schools. one was good. one was fantastic. both were state.

a decision like which school for your PFB to spend the next 7 years at should be made on as much info as possible - without prejudice.

xxfingers crossed for april 1xx

research etc is great if you're going private. You just avoid like the plague any school that doesn't fit your exact criteria.

However, you can visit and research until you're blue in the face for state schools.
We all know that real choice in the state sector is illusory.