attacked by teacher at college.

[Tortington]

now it sounds more horendous than the whole thing actually is - although i feel its horrendous.

boy goes to college (15yrold)one day a week. was washing out a tin that had been holding paint. the tin had a small amount of paint at the bottom.

teacher got son by scruff of front of t-shirt and had him up against the wall shouting " you takin the piss?"

lad said all the kids behing teach were laughing so he burst out laughing. lad said he wanted to hit him back. am i toldlad hes a good lad for not doing so.

lad has a college co-ordinator called Jenny. lad told jenny who is going to "sort it out"

now wouldn't you think this would be the first thing to greet me as i walked through the door.

i was home over an hour when i was told and i was told in a "guess what happened to me today" kind of way.

anyway - going to phone the college tomorrow. am sure there is a fuller story than this - come to think of it i'm the only one who seems appaulled by it.

on exclaiming my disbelief my youngest son slowly shook his head and said " oh dear they haven't met Northern parents yet!" i had to laugh.

i hate the thought that these kids are being treated like secod class citizens becuase they obviously on the "teach 'em some employment skills quick before they turn into complete dossers" course ( technical course name that!)

my son has an apprenticeship lined up and has done me proud around the whole working area actually - but the whole thing has pissed me off.

thoughts?

and BTW - i shit you not - i don't make this up!

shall i write about incident or just about piss poor in relation to appointment>?

I'd do both. Do they have any idea why you're trying to get in touch with them? (Could their lack of responsiveness be attributed to normal shoddiness re communication, or is it even worse because they know how serious an issue it is?)

outline the incident as the reason why it is vital that they set up this appt for you to meet with the vp and that you are now amazed that you have not had an appt yet and that you have not been able to reach anyone in connection with it and that no one is returning your calls!

Oh, all incidents like this ime at secondary have to be logged officially and signed by the teacher involved and a dep/asst head confirming what happened. I think your son would also have his version logged and I should think you have the right to read at least his version but don't quote me on that. Find out who is the parent on the board of gov at his school?

alux it happened in a college ( hes in yr 5 err year 11 in new money i think) doing day release. but handy info to know for future!
thanks everyone will write strong letter tomorrow.

yes custardo but his secondary still has primary responsibility for him. I would not let them get round it by saying that 'it happened at college'. they will still need to log this incident in their portfolio as he is registered in the secondary not the college. It is a gray area but I would stick by those guns.

oh really! didn't know that, oh eck i need to ask the school if they have officially logged it then

Wrote this on your suggestion to print off at work tomorrow waddya think mumsnetters?

Dear Vice Principle,

We write with two concerns.

1. Our son Joe Custy who was involved in an incident at the xxxxxx site of blah College on Tuesday 28th September 2005.
2. The lack of response and information regarding the above.

The incident was quite a serious one where a teacher physically threatened our 15 year old son. We learned about this incident that same evening, from my son.

We noticed the complete lack of contact regarding this issue from the college, despite Ms blah being informed of the incident the same day. It concerns us that the college would chose not to infom us directly of the incident but rather to leave it to our son to tell us that he had been threatened by a member of staff, no less his teacher at college that day.

The next morning Mrs custy phoned the college, Ms.blah informed her that she was not sure of the protocol in these situations and would "phone the school." Mrs custy asked who was going to inform us of developments to which She was infomed that Ms.blah would have to find out the protocol.

Having put the phone down with no clear resolution as to how we were going to be infomed of future developments, Mrs custy phoned the happy clappy High School. We believe she was the first to inform the school of the incident. This also concerns us, as the school must be very interested in the welfare of its students even off campus.

The school said they would try to organise a meeting between the college and ourselves. Excellent, it took a whole day but never the less progress on communication with us about this matter was moving forward.

Mrs. custy recieved a phone call Thursday from Ms blah informing her that the Vice Principle of the college would like to meet with us regarding the matter. However Mrs custy would have to call the VP's secretary to arrange an appointment.

As you can appreciate this in itself made us rather indignant, that we need make an appointment with a secretary to discuss such a serious incident, never the less we let this small thing slide.

Mrs custy phoned for the remainder of Thursday to no reply and no answer phone message. She remained calm and patient. Mrs custy phoned again on Friday. No answer and no option for a message to be left. Mrs custy rang Ms. blah only to get an answering machine. Mrs custy left a message telling ms blah that she was "exasperated" at having to chase the college.

Why are we, the parents of a threatened /assaulted child who was in your care, chasing you to communicate with us?

It is now Tuesday. a full week after the incident took place and we are no further on. indeed the inaction by the college has exaserbated the situation we fear.

We are very reasonable people not turning lightly to ruining a mans entire teaching career or the reputation of the college. We did want open lines of communication and frank discussion.

Therefore to be frank, we think you are taking liberties with our patience.

We hope to be contacted forthwith as a matter of urgency.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr & Mrs custy

Others may disagree with me but at this stage I wouldn't put this much in writing. I would leave the incident open-ended for the time being as you don't want the college to go on the defensive which could simply result in a complete denial by themselves.

I would write only to request an appointment with the vp (making an appointment via the secretary is not an unusual thing to have to do)and to make the point that you were unable to get through by phone and that you would like the opportunity to have a discussion asap. Do not describe the incident in the letter.

At the appointment,I would go into this situation prepared to say what your son told you but to listen to their "version" (the vp possibly won't investigate it yet until he's met you and heard your allegations.) What I wouldn't do is use words like assault at this stage.

Your son as been assaulted custy - phone the police.
I'm not going to recount my "my son was assulted by a teacher" story here again, but in my experience trying to do the reasonable thing and giving schools a chance to deal with things their own way just doesn't work. The school should in any case have contacted the police and social services themselves as soon as they heard the allegation - they are legally obliged to do so. Ask for the "schools liaison officer" at your local station, I found mine extremely helpful.

took your advice cam - tried phoning again - have not send letter - got an administratedr to send an e-mail with my details on.

sunyelight - dont remember reading your story however i may be coming back to you for advice- i didn't know the police had such a thing. will bear it in mind if i get no joy - thank you

I'd have sent the full length letter AND phoned the police. I worked with kids of all ages (still do in a voluntary way) and this should never, ever happen. It's totally unacceptable on every level and would be even if your son had triggered it with severe behaviour- even threatening behaviour- let alone the silly petty reason he was given. What would this teacher do in a more provoking situation?

I am of 2 minds on how to approach this custy. My instinct is to send the long letter in the first instance but can see the rational behind approaching them firmly but with most my cards in my hand. It is good for them as they won't get too defensive and more likely then to be accommodating and it saves you the embarrassment if things did not transpire as your son may have led you to believe. not saying he is lying but that a teen's view of an experience can be v. different from what actually happened or from an adult's view.

I am sure that this incident should be logged with the college and that the school has to be fully informed by them of what transpired. - I would expect (but would not be surprised if it wasn't)that they had a photocopy of the incident to put in the school file. (ofsted looks at records of assault by teachers and pupils) It doesn't sound to me that it is necessary for the police to be involved in this case/at this stage and unless you think your son was physically harmed, the police themselves also like to let things like this be resolved within the school.

Deep down I believe the instructor was someone who is from industry who has been put in a position where he had little experience and training to manage a group of 15 or so testosterone racing boys in a classroom environment. I feel sorry for him at the moment. He probably really regrets what happened and is questioning how he could let his emotions get the better of him.

That of course is no reason for the shoddy response you have had so far. It sounds like the school has poor communication among themselves and with parents.

I would remind them that your son has lodged a serious complaint/charge against the school and a teacher, that you are disappointed and amazed at how difficult and how long it is taking you to set up an appointment with someone who can clear up what happened and that you expect to hear from them soon as you will then look 3rd party representation to investigate the incident. (ie: complain officially to the LEA/police whoever.)

before you see them, bullet point his claims and your experience of their lack of care for him and you.

PS its 'principAl'

eeek! god i wish i could spell
great advice everyone.

phone again today left message with a switchboard lady who said she would e-mail the secretary.

still waiting.

i can see a trip to the college in my car looming as am not happy.

Any joy custy?

Yes, what has happened?

yes yes - magic phone call today i feel highly honoured.

meeting is tomorrow!

was asking dh what we actually wanted as an outcome of the meeting he said " for ds to get A grades from now on!"

we agreed an apology to son would be sufficient. and the reiteration that college should do bettter to ensure this not happening in future.

thanks for enquiring - was worried i was boring everyone so v.much appreciated ta!

Good luck for the meeting today Custy

ta cam!

went to meeting
" so you want to talk about teachers use of inapropriate language"
"err no"
"oh"
"want to talk about how he grabbed and threatened son"
"not the story we have"

the bastard completely denied it!! can't believe it.

another meeting monday with son present

Have the school talked to the other members of the class and your ds?

Hope that things go well on Monday

was there any witnesses custy
wot a shit of a man

yes there were two other kids present - so going to be a formal statement monday - thanks all xxxx

Oh the "I never did it" story

Hang in there babe

But, hold on a moment....he did admit to using inappropriate language?

no he didnt admit to that either.

thats what they thought i was complaining about?!

just seen all of this. Best of luck in sorting it out Custy. Your poor boy, this is so out of order Thank goodness he has loyal and persistent parents prepared to get to the bottom of this.