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Original poster

I resent school.

192 replies

spidermama · 21/09/2005 15:51

I have a sneaking feeling I'll be the only one thinking this .... again ... but I'm really wishing I didn't have to send my kids to school five days a week.
It seems school presents something new to irritate me every day. Today brought news that parents who take their children out of school during SATs (don't even get me started on SATs [agnry]) will be fined.
I think this is outrageous interference.

OP posts:
Moomin · 22/09/2005 09:39

Interesting points being made about socialisation. I think it's this which is equally important to an academic education and that's why it's so important to feel that your child is at the right school. Where I teach at the moment the Head is very 'hot' on respect: respect for adults, respect for peers, respect for your environment and equipment, etc. He has a pastoral background and has had to deal with the more emotional side of education throughout his career; now he's Head he's tranferring this experience into the whole-school approach and I think it's highly commendable (esp as my school, is a city one -not a 'sink' one by any means but it's quite a poor area and the behaviour of pupils could be a major problem if not delat with effectively).

I worry a bit about dd's social skills, esp now I've observed her at her pre-school. She gravitates towards adults much more easily than the other children. We're told (and we can see) that she's bright and very communicative but she just doesn't seem keen to mix with other kids as much as she likes adult company. In this respect, I think school plays a huge part. I'm relying on school to help her integrate and learn how to co-operate with others her own age in order to help her be a more rounded individual. I could quite happily HE dd and I'm sure she'd do very well but I feel that she needs the experience with her peers.

Original poster
spidermama · 22/09/2005 09:46

Moomin I was struck, when I went to visit a group of home edders and their kids the other day, how much more confident the kids were and how they happily played outsdie their peer group, which IME doesn't happen in school.

The thirty or so kids who were there (all different ages, some knew each other, others didn't) independently of the adults, worked really well together to set up a football game involving building two goals, and played. We adults chatted over tea for almost three hours while the children palyed happily together, or sometimes came and talked to us.

I'm really rambling today but my point is that it felt so much more natural that they all hung our together and didn't confine themselves to their specific sex and peer group. They were also charming and unguarded with adults in a way urban school kids simply are not.

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Moomin · 22/09/2005 09:55

That's the problem though for me, I think! Dd can cope easily with a group of adults (she'll quite happily come into work eith me or dh and be outgoing and confident) and she also enjoys mixing with the children of our friends, who happen to be all different ages. She seems to panic though when faced with a group of children her own age. She clings to the nearest adult and even after some time, is very reluctant to join in games and activities and I just wonder why this is. I'm frightened she will be seem by others as some sort of 'teacher's pet' as she prefers to spend her time with the adult helpers or alternatively, be seen as aloof and disinterested.

I need to give it more time, of course, and maybe take into account the fact she may be feeling insecure about me having a baby in few weeks' time. I do think, though that the right school can nurture a child just as well as HE can do. It's just finding the 'right' school!

swedishmum · 22/09/2005 10:50

My dd1 went back into school after the May half term when we moved back home. She hated it, probably because she had an unfamiliar teacher who was much more shouty and authoritarian and she just found it frustrating working at the pace of her class (mixed y5 and6) - her best friends moved on to grammar school the year before. She seemed a lot older and more worldly than many of them - her particular year group in her small village school seemed on the whole quite immature (boys in particular).

Dd2 is now in Y5 and likes to have reasons for doing silly things - not just "because I say so". She finds this teacher's style hard going. She likes to get on with it rather than follow the structure of the NC (dd, not teacher!).

Ds (8) loves school, but his time out has given us time to address some literacy problems that the school had not dealt with/communicated previously.

Sometimes primary school seems like education with all the fun/adventure/first hand experience taken out. Sounds like I'm talking myself back into Home Ed...

Majorca · 22/09/2005 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suedonim · 22/09/2005 16:30

Spidermama, I've CAT-ed you as I have some HE info for you.

Pollyanna · 22/09/2005 16:57

Aloha, my ds started off like yours (as you know he also has dyspraxia), he is now in year 2 and is falling further behind as the focus switches more to writing, which he finds difficult. ime the teachers (at ds's school) do not recognise his reading/creative abilities (he wants to be a writer/illustrator when he grows up), and I find it incredibly sad that he is struggling so much, and his potential will not be realised and that the teachers do not think he is the "bees knees". I do not think a class of 30 children is the place for him.

We are moving to Brighton Spidermama and I have investigated the Steiner school, but am not sure it is for ds (he is quite "academic" in lots of ways), and am not sure what the answer is for him. I'm not sure I'm up to home educating him (and his sisters), but would be interested in seeing what you decide.

aloha · 22/09/2005 19:10

Oh that's so sad Pollyanna. My ds says he will be a writer when he grows up, or be on the television on Cbeebies
Have you talked to the school about how he's falling behind and maybe come up with some ideas to get around writing - using a keyboard perhaps, or dictating his 'written' work into a dictaphone. There has to be a way around this. Otherwise he will surely lose heart, exactly what I am afraid of with ds.

aloha · 22/09/2005 19:12

Oh, I see you are moving so can start again. How is he socially?

Pollyanna · 22/09/2005 19:39

Socially, he seems a bit better this term - he is definitely slightly different to most of his peers, but is more confident now, and has got friends.

I am doing touch typing with him and his old teacher did let him dictate his work when she had time, but the problem is there is not much time for him, and it seems as though the environment just doesn't cater for his needs at all. It is sad, and he is starting to lose confidence, but I have a meeting with his new teacher tomorrow, so maybe we can come up with something. I think a key for him is smaller class sizes, but also, as Spidermama says, he gets very tired from being in that environment all day, all week.

Original poster
spidermama · 22/09/2005 20:40

Brighton's great pollyanna. I quite like the Steiner school too but it's not for me.
Have you heard about the New School in Lewes? It looks very interesting and I've been meaning to investigate it further.

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aloha · 22/09/2005 23:06

You would think that the teachers would relish having clever, eccentric kids in their classes. I would! Maybe the horror of sats and the national curriculum makes them see kids like ours as a liability though.

happymerryberries · 23/09/2005 06:46

I realise that I'm going to get told off again , but Aloha, some of us do relish the bright, quirky kids we get the chance to work with. And enjoy working with them. And for that matter, the not so bright, quirky kids as well.

sunnydelight · 23/09/2005 12:41

The New School allows flexibility spidermama, e.g. when DS2 started in reception he only went four days a week which was lovely - Fridays were special days for both of us. I was able to say when he was ready for five days. There is also never any problems about days off - you just phone can say your child won't be in - none of the crap of making up excuses and making sure the child remembers when they return that they were "sick". However, as the school has developed they have had to get more rigid about fees, so you would have to pay the full fees regardless of attendance.

Original poster
spidermama · 23/09/2005 13:14

Sunnydelight, do yours still go to the New School? Do you rate it?
I think it might be worth my dropping in to have a look.

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sunnydelight · 23/09/2005 13:38

It's a very small world around here spidermama so I don't really want to discuss it on a public forum! I've just managed to work out how to do the CAT thing, so CAT me if you like.

Original poster
spidermama · 23/09/2005 13:53

Thanks. I will.

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merglemergle · 23/09/2005 14:31

Have just looked at this website for Lewes New School .

It looks fantastic! Just a bit too far for us to commute to, though (Cardiff)

Original poster
spidermama · 23/09/2005 17:17

Thanks for the link mergle. I joined EO this morning and am champing at the bit to get on their forum but they still haven't sent me a password.

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mrsmoons · 23/09/2005 17:45

Spidermama, wish I'd seen this thread earlier - I have to say I agree with you on most of what you feel. I'm not anti-school, or anti-education, but round here, all schools are oversubscribed, young kids are in very full classes and at the end of the day, there is no chance for your child if he or she is a little square peggish. It's too one-size fits all.
And no, I don't have any answers on how to correct this in the state system!
I have one son who has just started and totally thrives on the whole school regime and one 8-yr-old who on a daily basis asks me how many more years he has to go to school. He just catagorically hates it - that's school in principle, nothing wrong with the school he is at. Anyway, best of luck and please let us know how you get on.x

oops · 23/09/2005 18:17

Message withdrawn

aloha · 23/09/2005 18:26

hmb - I know it must have sounded horrid, but really I was responding to Pollyanna's post and knowing that in some schools and for some teachers, the square peg child is an irritant, and maybe it is a lot to do with the pressure of sats and big classes. Of course all teachers aren't the same. Not at all.

happymerryberries · 23/09/2005 18:30

I like the square pegs, cos I was one

In fact I delight in still being the square peg, and showing the kids that I am happy being the square peg, and that it is nice to be different

aloha · 23/09/2005 18:31

Hooray for square-peggishness!

Original poster
spidermama · 23/09/2005 21:01

I've managed to persuade dh to let me give home schooling a go. The plan is to de-register the kids from school so they won't return after Christmas, and see how we get on from there. After a year, we'll review the situation to work out how to proceed.

BUT, dh isn't happy. I'm hoping he'll enthuse a bit more after he has done some reading and met some other home edders, but I can't be sure.

Frankly he's so tense that things are difficult at the moment and every conversation we have seems to lead, one way or another, to the subject.

If he is still this tense when the time comes to deregister, I don't know if I'll be able to do it.

Funnily enough, as I was browsing the Education Otherwise website today, I had a call from the head to say my dd was ill and wanted to come home and I might as well take my ds too as it would save me a school run.
I rushed to school to bring them home and am really, disproportionally glad to have them back for the weekend.

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