I resent school.

[spidermama]

I have a sneaking feeling I'll be the only one thinking this .... again ... but I'm really wishing I didn't have to send my kids to school five days a week.
It seems school presents something new to irritate me every day. Today brought news that parents who take their children out of school during SATs (don't even get me started on SATs [agnry]) will be fined.
I think this is outrageous interference.

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suedonim ... yes, yes. I'm very interested in your friend from Worthing. I'd love to know more about how she does it, and which groups she can recommend.

I reckon he will, aloha. D'you know, one thing I hadn't thought of at all that has been great for my sons' self esteem and sounds like it will work immensely in your boy's favour is that younger primary children actually admire academic achievement. They really do- almost as much as they do sporting prowess. Recently one little boy came up to me and said cheerily, "Your son is so slow at running he might even be the slowest in the whole class..." Pause.. while I felt v sad and considered throttling him! until he added..."but he is SOO good at reading and I wish I was as good as him." I'm sure later on things change but so far my boys and their peers seem knowledgeable but v matter of fact about each others' skills. They actually seem to take on board that everyone is different to a large extent and certainly see quite a wide range of talents as very covetable, while accepting that few people are good at all of them.

(Sorry to highjack this conversation, btw, everyone.)

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Oh, that's truly lovely, encouraging and immensely cheering to read Scummy, it really is. I do hope so. Both dh and I worry about it quite a bit, but I know his girlfriend from nursery (he LOVES her!) admires him for his brain and not his sporting prowess
Oddly enough I also know a mother of four from Worthing who is home educating...how odd. Two of hers (the youngest) are twins.

Scummy - you are right

Which stage of the ORT they are on seems to matter much more to DS's peers than how fast they can run. Bit of a bu**er for DS really as his reading isn't good - but he can run fast

I think schools in general are much more switched on to promoting the things children excel at rather than berating them for what they are crap at! They do seem to be more switched onto more subtle forms of bullying too!

Aloha - your DS sounds such a wonderful sweet chap, that his classmates couldn;t help but love him

Soapbox -
He's been lovely today, and I'm feeling v soppy about him.

Aloha - all power to your ds. he sound great.

Good posts as ever oops.
I have also noticed how much worse my children behave during term time. They seems stressed, tired and angry. Even at the the weekend it takes 'til Sunday afternoon for them to relax again by which time we're nearly back to Monday morning.

Aloha - I've had a soppy day too - have a thread somewhere[teary emotion]

Spidermama, I am sorry I was so angry with you on another thread (dummies). I do apologise. It is a subject that is quite emotional for me, because they more I understand about ds's dyspraxia and sensory issues, the more I know I did the right thing, but of course, I can't expect anyone to know about those. He still mouths everything and I think that he actually has problems processing sensory information via his mouth, and it is something I am desperate to sort out before he goes to school as he doesn't realise he is doing it, but other kids will. So a bit of a sensitive subject, but sort of related to this thread.

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I like the idea of my kids going out to school but have to admit everything seems so much more serious in primary schools than what it was when i was young....so long ago, admittedly! Why do they have to have so much to worry about at such young ages?Why can't they just enjoy the first few years instead of always fretting that they're not "keeping up" etc? Surely the most important part of early education is through play and social activity etc?My eldest daughter has just gone into juniors and everything seems so tense. Why? They've got to go anyway-unless we opt for home-ed which just wouldn't work with us as i wouldn't know where to start!Surely primary school is the basis for a child to learn how to interact with other kids and to learn basic maths,reading and writing and interesting things such as science.Let's face it, high-school is bad enough!!!!

I like the idea of my kids going out to school but have to admit everything seems so much more serious in primary schools than what it was when i was young....so long ago, admittedly! Why do they have to have so much to worry about at such young ages?Why can't they just enjoy the first few years instead of always fretting that they're not "keeping up" etc? Surely the most important part of early education is through play and social activity etc?My eldest daughter has just gone into juniors and everything seems so tense. Why? They've got to go anyway-unless we opt for home-ed which just wouldn't work with us as i wouldn't know where to start!Surely primary school is the basis for a child to learn how to interact with other kids and to learn basic maths,reading and writing and interesting things such as science.Let's face it, high-school is bad enough!!!!

I can't quite work out why I'm so unhappy about dd2's education right now. I think my main concern is that her spirit will be broken. School does that.
Sounds a bit hippy, I know. In fact I am very concerned that my children should achieve, but not if all the passion and fun is dripped out of them week by week. Am I headed back for HE? Or does anyone know a very forward thinking school in SE Kent?!

Spidermama, I'll get in touch with my friend and let you know what she says.

Aloha, it's not the same family - my friend doesn't have twins!! I bet the two families know each other though.

i think school teaches a societal element you could not possibly teach at home.

my fear for my children would have been a blinkered view of how things should be idealistically rather than how things are - but then we all live in different worlds dont we

Custardo, it depends a little on where you live. The social element was what I was worried about with the children not being at school. While I agree it's easy to create your own Utopia, I hardly think mine are getting a dynamic social mix at primary school right now (tiny village etc). Dd1 appreciates that now she's at grammar school. If we're staying at school, I think 2 classes per year group is ideal - there were only 12 kids in dd1's class.

yes thats what i meant - maybe in your situation this isnt applicable but am sure that if i had home educated my kids then pushed them intot he big wide world there would be a steep learning curve - no less wondering why people are so mean - when all they would have come into contact with is me and family and friends. my kids know the "real" world and thats a hard elemant to quantify. but then as i said in the last post - my real world is much different from yours from the sound of it

Custardo - I think though that the point about HE is that children are more mature and have a stronger sense of themselves before they have to face the 'mean' world, whereas normally children are faced with this world at the tender age of four when it can all be a bit overwelming.

I've seriously thought about HE but dd has just started school as I wanted to see how she gets on. But the people who do HE that I have spoken to seem to make a marvellous job of it and I have no doubt it is the more valuable educational experience. I'm just not sure I have the patience or energy (have 3 dc). But it has made me think about what exactly is the kind of 'socialisation' they get at school.

Aloha thanks for that. No apology necessary though. I felt justly ticked off for using an emotive term.

Custardo it's a good point you make and one I've thought long and hard about. It's also one of dh's main worries about the whole idea of home education.
School does indeed prepare you for slotting into society but how many of us actually end up working in a large random group of people? Most of us will specialise and choose the work we want to do and the people we want to do it with.
School, for most of us, is the only time in life where we're made to go and spend time with people we haven't chosen to spend time with doing stuff we have no choice over.
I think that makes it a bad learning forum for many.

Majorca why did you and your children decide to opt back into school?
How did the transition go?

on the socialisation/real world argument

I think that children are more confident and cope with a variety of situations as they get older not because they have been confronted with noisy classes and domineering children at school but because they have grown up with secure loving relationships and that provides them with the resources to manage a broad range of life expereinces..so school is not IMO essential to learning about life any more than certain types of work or living environments are more valid than others.

At primary level teachers are usually generalist rather than highly trained mathematician or scientists so any enthusiastic parent can home ed I believe it's not as if you have to be on your own..