Private lesson, think I handled this badly. What to do?

[ZZZenAgain]

I pay for a 45 minutes lesson for dd. Often teacher gets there a bit late or has a pupil beforehand and that lessons runs over or the pupil after dd arrives early. In effect it is often closer to 30 minutes than 45 for these reasons.

Nw it isn't the end of the world and she is a good teacher but it kind of rankles. Today we got there on time for the lesson at 3.30. She had a pupil there and they kept on working together till 3.45 (so 15 minutes really into dd's lesson). Then the mother came in to pick up her child and was there chatting for 5 minutes.

So the lesson began actually 20 minutes later and I asked if she would prefer us to come a bit later but she said no, there would still be enough time to fit in dd's lesson.

She stopped after 30 min. So I asked her about that and said I would like dd to have a full 45 minute lesson because I think she needs it but the teacher said , "it was 45 minutes." And I didn't know what to say really. She looked quite angry and I realised I had handled it badly but didn't quite see what to do about it.

What should I have done? Should I just forget about the actual length of the lesson in future? Was it being a bit picky to bring that up?

thanks, I'm noting all this!

I am coming round to looking into the possiblity of changing teacher and I'm feeling more confident about talking to her about it next Wednesday.

I have appointments with someone (not music) and she puts a 15 minute gap between each appointment so as to avoid the situation you describe. If I am a little early sometimes I wait and sometimes not.

I private tutor at pupils' homes, occasionally get delayed getting to a house, but make a point of checking my watch AS I get there to make sure the kids and parents get their full hour's time. It's something I'm absolutely scrupulous about - because otherwise, it starts to irritate people and niggle away at them - and I'm not one to take the piss to be brutally honest.

You pay for X minutes, you get X minutes.

thanks. I don't think she could manage that kind of gap inbetween pip, she has so many pupils. I think she just tries to fit them in not so much for the money but they are often siblings and she gets asked to teach the younger ones in the family too etc. I could imagine anyway that is how it works.

That makes me feel more comfortable with bringing it up emptyshell. Tbh five minutes here or there or the odd shorter lesson wouldn't bother me that much but as a regular thing, I find it does bother me.

Agree with minimathsmouse but sympathise as on the whole I found music teachers rather prima donnaish and very difficult if ever I questioned anything of a practical/monetary nature. I think the answer is to be prepared in advance about negotiating. It seems you were the one who wanted more than 30 mins so she may not actually agree with 45. Perhaps offer to pay for 30 again but ensure that's what you get.

As a violin/ piano teacher I do 30 minute lessons but schedule them at 45 minute intervals, as it allows a little time for getting violin ready & tuned up/ lateness/ traffic/ needing to do a bit extra work on a particular piece etc. Everyone gets at least 30 minutes so nobody feels shortchanged. I either stop when next pupil arrives or a bit earlier and get myself a cuppa.

If my DCs guitar teacher arrives late he always goes on a bit later so get full lesson time.

This teacher is taking the mick and being very rude.

YANBU.

If I were you I would work out the pro rata cost of half hour lessons then pay that. Then let her query the payment.

Has she forgotten you have upgraded to 45min lesson.

A little off the point but it does sound a really dull lesson. no improvisation work? Duet? sight reading or theory?

I think this teacher is taking the piss! You are paying her by the hour and she is behaving in an arrogant way - suggesting she is doing you a favour - I would be really annoyed by her agressive response to what was a reasonable complaint - so much for customer service...if a bank treated you like that you'd soon show them the red card.

Think I'd need a chat with her and if she was still determined to treat you like an cheeky child then I'd grab my dc & walk away.

Two little, that's what I did. You need time to make notes of what you did in the lesson as well.

Sawing through pieces endlessly sounds a bit dull, I agree. Teacher sounds in autopilot and rather bored. Is your DD making good progress?

hmm am a bit uneasy atm with this whole thing.

Well the lessons are not all of the same quality, put it that way. Sometimes I think they are good (not that I have much of an idea), last time was boring and I thought dd got nothing much out of it but maybe my judgement was coloured by feeling annoyed.

Improvidation, no not usually.

She is a bit scatter-brained at times in that say she says she'll bring a new piece next week but then does not, so end up just doing what dd has already pretty much finished with. That happened a couple of times. Says they'll be in a different room to practice with the piano fr a concert, then that doesn't eventuate. Arrives at the rooms maybe 10 minutes later than the lesson is supposed to start. Few things like that

Maybe I am giving a too negative one-sided view of her by criticising the timing etc. I do think she is a decent person. Dd is a bit frustrated in what she has been given to play ( hates this piece, it is very difficult for her, teacher says admittedly too difficult but she should stick with it). Thing is just before the summer holidays we had a last lesson. Teacher meant to bring two new pieces, forgot, just happened to have this one in her bag so gave it to dd although it is not her level really. So then we had to battle through it in the holidays without a lesson. I don't know how to play it, dd struggled. Then we had an orchestra concert so different piecs, orchestra trip etc and we are back with this piece. Last night after orchestra she told dd that she wanted her to perform this piece (which she utterly hates) in a concert in two weeks.

Dd was in tears when I picked her up. Just don't know what to do about it tbh. Since I already brought up the time thing and that went down like a lead balloon. I think the teacher is extra tense atm due to having two orchestras both performing in two weeks time and another ocncert with solo performances (sounds a bit grand but I mean learner concerts). Dd said she was screaming a lot at orchestra because of all the nattering going on.

Have looked into a teacher change a bit but so hard to know who to call. Feel like telling dd not to bother with the concert performing that piece she hates, just forget it but on the other hand don't want to undermine the teacher. Told her to have a day of practice today. Don't feel a 10 year old should be crying about it, just not a major issue for me what she plays and if she performs. No plans for her to be a solo artist or anything like that, you know? Sigh

Argh

day ofF sorry about all the tipos.

I think the teacher is at fault here. If the previous pupil does not arrive on time she should not get extra time or if this is a common problem should consider shifting the lesson times slightly.
Should ask the parent to telephone for feedback rather than keep you waiting.
Would consider changing teachers if you can't sort this out.

no she hadn't forgotten that we had upgraded to a 45 minute lesson. We've had a 45 minute lesson for about 8 months but just changed the day due to other activities having changed. Previously dd was her first pupil of the day, so we didn't have the problem with a prior lesson encroaching, just that she was often late arriving but not 20 minutes late.

Maybe I will have to change back to the old day/time and drop the sport.

well I think so too crazymum but if this is her usual way of handling it (with all pupils), I think I may have to live with it or lump it.

The pupil before dd was the daughter of another ivolin teacher who is a colleague of our teacher so perhaps she is always very thorough with her for that reason. Wondering, if maybe that may have something to do with it.

Hope I am not making a mountain out of a molehill here, am feeling stressed with it myself atm.

If your DD is not enjoying the lesson, is being fobbed off with second rate attention and being forced to play pieces she hates/ are too difficult for her, then I would drop this teacher and find one who can be bothered to teach your DD and make it enjoyable.

Do NOT drop the sport - why should you?

Sounds as if this teacher has too many pupils and is only offering a decent service to the favoured few, which does not include you.

There are lots of good, enthusiastic music teachers around who will give your DD the attention she deserves. Move to one of them.

yes I think you are probably right. Have been looking into it today a bit. Don't know if it is that easy to find the right teacher.

Will also see next Wednesday how it goes, dd does definitely want to continue violin but not happy at the present situation.

ZZZen - well this teacher is definitely not the right one, so new teacher would probably be an improvement.

Perhaps ask LEA if they have a list of local music teachers?

I would either suggest swapping with the previous lesson if you can make that time as clearly the other mother doesn't seem to arrive on time. Or switch back to the 30min lesson or change teachers.

I had this with ds's 30 min riding lesson that was becoming 20 mins because of lesson overruns. I complained after it happened three times and it hasnt happened since. I always make sure I note the start time so I'm ready to say something if necessary.

Mollie - the Op used to have the first lesson of the day and the TEACHER was late for that, so swapping lessons probably won't work.

Sounds like the teacher is not really interested in your DDs progress, ZZZen, I would find a teacher who is.

"Don't know if it is that easy to find the right teacher."

But you just said "no plans for her to be a solo artist or anything like that". All you want is someone who can coach her along and not totally turn her off music!!
Get local recommendations for someone who is not so over-stretched that she doesn't have time for her pupils. I presume that this is costing you a lot of money - why are you putting up with a service that makes your DD unhappy?

I missed that! Definitely change teachers. Music lessons aren't cheap and I'd be pretty miffed at paying for a third of a lesson that my dc wasn't getting.

I would have a look at the local council run music school and see what lessons they do.

I'm overseas so don't have that kind of option here but thanks for the advice.

Well, I have been looking into it and ringing around. First teacher we had I was not that happy with tbh that's why I don't know how easy it is to get the right teacher IYSWIM. Dd ended up with posture problems after a year with T1 so I think it does have to be someone who not only can play but can also instruct

I would say pieces are around grade 5-6 atm and the orchestra varies depending on what she has to play within a piece. She wants to progress but like this atm it is not the best IYSWIM

Have been recommended a teacher but she is a colleague of and close friend of current teacher so I don't really think I could call her and ask. Hmm thanks everyone, I am certainly looking around to see if I can find someone else in case things aren't really resolved.

She is overseas, Mollie.
She has started a new thread here in extra-curric

piece she is finding diffatm is apparently grade 8 from what I could gather online.

Know nothing about music so bit at sea with the whole issue, tend to rely on the teacher