Pros and cons of late registration with a private school (state school is a disaster, drastic action required!)

[CasperTFG]

I am not going to get into too much detail - but the first two weeks of a north London state school reception year has been seriously underwhelming for us and our DS.

(well here's a tidbit... ...at a parents night, one of DS's future teachers ran a powerpoint presentation for parent one evening at the school at one stage she felt the need to clarify to the assembled parents about a word she had been using (it was "numeracy") - she explained to us all "vat iz maffs"

Anyhoo...

We now find ourselves behind schedule for getting DS a place / interview for private school.

Are we at a disadvantage to get him a place now the year has started? Or should our money (and DS) be welcome?

Any tips on an emergency 'change of plan' involving sudden shift to private school much appreciated..

We ought to be able to get him in somewhere.. right?

Disaster.... DW is in floods, DS is mute and miserable...No PLU there at all...

In a rush to get him somewhere nice..

Help!

Thanks...

Do all North London primary schools have "open days"? I struggled to get onto tours of my local state schools, and the attitude of the staff was very much "take it or leave it". One school only allowed a visit when the children had gone home. I still wonder what (or who) they were trying to hide.

Any school - no matter how outstanding can be a poor match for some children. OP I would go with your gut instincsts here - it doesn't feel right to you and that's all that matters. Do what you need to do but be aware that Reception year is play based and about building social relationships as well as learning the beginnings of reading and writing therefore the next school may be equally as underwhelming academically.

And any open day or visit is only a snap shot.
No-one openly advertises problems do they?

People make mistakes, choosing a school for the first time is not easy. We have been through several schools due to relocations. Most have been good, two have been bad. For each dc, staying for a term after the unhappiness began did plenty of damage. That was because well meaning people told us to give it time, wait and see, etc. If your gut instinct is that your child would have to dramatically change their personality to be able fit into the school, then follow your gut instinct and get out quick. No-one should have to be put in that position. It is not rushing unnecessarily, it is damage limitation.
Ring up the local preps, you do not need to wait for an open day. They are always happy to show prospective parents around. Get a feel for each place. Trust your instincts, they are right, some state schools are good, some are absolute dumps with many teachers just doing the bare minimum, if that. Often you don't find this out until you child is actually there. To claim otherwise is unrealistic.

Don't rush. Worst thing you could do. He won't die from a term in the 'dire' state school. Take time to look around at private and state and take it from there. One school that doesn't suit you is not an indicator of the entire state sector.

In terms of the legalities, if his birthday is in January then he doesn't need to be in full-time education (which doesn't even necessarily mean school at all -- are you in a position to home educate?) until after Easter when the summer term starts. So if you really don't think this school is right for him then you can pull him out now (write to the school and tell them that you are deregistering him and will make other arrangements for his full-time education from summer term 2011) and take some time over your decision on what to do instead.

Surely undwhelming is exactly what you want from the first 2 weeks of reception. What did you hope for, that he would come home totally overwhelmed, having been spoken to all day in words he probably doesn't understand because the teacher doesn't like to patronise 4-year-olds?

My DS is in his third week of reception too, and to be honest has done very little other than getting to know his classmates and teacher, and getting used to sitting still and concentrating in a classroom evironment with the distraction of 20 other children. If the children are 'mute' I would suggest this is because they are shy and still adjusting, rather than having been mentally scarred by playing with Lego.

Anyway, good luck with whatsever school you choose. FWIW I moved school after 2 years and barely remember anything about the first school.

Oh go on, name the school. You know you want to. Actually, it's probably my dc's school, we have lots of teachers with non-RP accents.

Tbh I wouldn't rush into moving, because you'll have much more choice and less chance of making another (more expensive) mistake if you keep your nerve and play a longer game.

Reception is a bottleneck for entry into both state and private schools, so if you phone around now you'll probaby find that very few have places and the ones that do aren't the ones you'd like your child to go to. If you take it a bit more slowly -- and he won't die from a few months of being inadequately taught (if it is actually inadequate, whcih you really haven't had a chance to asses yet), families will move and places will open up in even the most sought-after schools. By then you'll have had a chance to get a feel for what's really going on at the state school, and had plenty of time to look around properly at the other options and get a feel for what you really want.

If you rush it you run the risk of moving somewhere just because it's different from the school you're already in, rather than because it ticks all your boxes. And moving schools is inherently disruptive for kids, so only worth doing once you're sure it's the right move.

I panicked throughout dd1's first term in our local state school, but it was probably because I have my own ishoos having been at a dire state primary and then much happier in a lovely prep school.

I kept calling local private schools to see if they had a place. Which many did. But actually, looking round the private schools I reallly didn't think they were offering value for money. The parents were obviously way pushier, but the teachers with the odd exception were not an impressive bunch. I stuck out the state school, and by the end of reception was really impressed by them and the progress dd1 had made. The first few weeks can seem chaotic but there is a method to the madness and it will settle down. By all means look at other schools but don't haul your ds out, he will be fine for a little while longer whatever you chose.

whatever you choose

Lit
I agree with you in principle but I am still a bit befuddled that a school can seem good and then be so awful within days

I think it is possible to get sold on a schools presentation and then relalise over time that it is not good. But to be so bad after a few days does seem to be strectching the schools ability to put on a front.

And OP cites the other children and the other parents as a big part of his problem with the school- were they not there at the open day and tour?

maybe the PLUs were at the tour but decided not to send their dcs there.

It took me considerably longer than 2 weeks of term to work out what the other mums and dads were like and which were the ones I got on with.
People who are bright and hardworking and ambitious don't wear a uniform. People who are nice and decent and good parents don't either. Unless PLU simply means 'people who dress like me' I think the OP is making a snap judgement about the other parents here....

Oh PLU means 'people like us' does it?

if you are such a crashing snob as you sound I think it's probably a good thing there aren't any

So your ds spent all last year in the attached nursery and you didn't realise how poor the school was?

This has to be a windup... because you're coming across like a complete cock.

Please do remove your child... the last thing a struggling school needs is parents of your ilk.

It's not a struggling school though Capt Nancy - it's Ofsted outstanding. Which, if it's full of mute kids in reception, means that it must be amazing to be turning them into Ofsted-impressing school leavers.
Frogs - I'm very curious to as to which North London school this is...

Part of me says if you want to take your child out of the state system, do it now before you have chance to do too much damage to the school.

It does a school no favours at all to be used as a holding pen for children who are waiting for place at private school to turn up.

They suck up good teaching time from children who probably need it much more than them, and then leave before they can show up in the SATS results. Thus making the school look worse than it is, and possibly setting off the downward spiral.

Destabilising too, for the children left behind when their friend leave.

Only read the OP.

Maybe the presentation was aimed at less literate or, more likely, ESOL parents? Obviously she wasn't deliberately trying to patronise smug-a-rama poshos who are just abusing testing out the free school option before going private.

Grrr.

I agree with Jenai btw

Oh dear!

This definitely does not sound like a good reason to whip your child out of school and make new choices.

If you have found something that has made you that unhappy that quickly, then it may well be the case with any other school, state or private. I'm sure those of us who have had children in school for several years have all had those moments where we wonder if we've made the right choice.

Moving a child round schools frequently, or even not so frequently, will have a detrimental effect on their education, however good the school is. Ask an educational expert if you doubt my words.

Stick it out for this term, I'm sure there is a lot worse than picking up a little cockney - it's actually quite cute in small children . If you are still unhappy, for sound educational reasons, then reconsider, but give it time!

We have children at my dc's school starting mid term sometimes, its not ideal but sometimes you can try your best to stick it out until a term end and it just is too much

Had one girl who took her entrance exam last monday, came for a taster day friday and she started yesterday. Mother says she is so much more relaxed.

Each school and each child will be different though so there are no hard and fast rules

I know which school it is.

norflondoner - don't be coy, c'mon spill the beans or at least give a humongous hint! I am still convinced this must be a wind-up

The clues are there - powerpoint presentations at parents meetings, uniform, attached nursery. And crucially, no PLUs (which I take to be neurotic, pushy parents of "budding einsteins") but still ofsted outstanding.
The latter eliminates most of the obvious ofsted outstanding north london primaries as they are full to the brim with them braying in the playground

Not a school in my bit of N. London, then. The playgrounds around here are filled with PLU! Maybe OP & I could swap? I could do with a few fewer PLU (as defined by norflondner)