Pros and cons of late registration with a private school (state school is a disaster, drastic action required!)

[CasperTFG]

I am not going to get into too much detail - but the first two weeks of a north London state school reception year has been seriously underwhelming for us and our DS.

(well here's a tidbit... ...at a parents night, one of DS's future teachers ran a powerpoint presentation for parent one evening at the school at one stage she felt the need to clarify to the assembled parents about a word she had been using (it was "numeracy") - she explained to us all "vat iz maffs"

Anyhoo...

We now find ourselves behind schedule for getting DS a place / interview for private school.

Are we at a disadvantage to get him a place now the year has started? Or should our money (and DS) be welcome?

Any tips on an emergency 'change of plan' involving sudden shift to private school much appreciated..

We ought to be able to get him in somewhere.. right?

Disaster.... DW is in floods, DS is mute and miserable...No PLU there at all...

In a rush to get him somewhere nice..

Help!

Thanks...

Caspar,

There is no reason for not starting at an independent school at this time. If the school has a place, and your child will fit it, then they will offer it.

I would recommend having taster days at your possible schools, as independent schools can often have a very unique ethos.

I can understand where you are coming from.

The problem is that the 'that is maths' has to be aimed at all parents. Whilst Casper may well understand what numeracy is, you can't assume that all parents will know that, or that their English can cope with it (maths may be fine, numeracy not).

What were your impressions when you went round the school initially? Did you walk in and feel comfortable, or were you unsure? Why did they get an outstanding OFSTED?

When we changed school for ds at 5 (geographical reasons), we went round the prep we wanted him to attend and both came out going wow. I moved ds 1 term into Year 1 and it wasn't a problem.

It does feel as if you gut instinct is telling you something and you should seriously consider your options whether that be a private or another state school, but take care and don't rush. It does not seem that your DS1 is in any danger. What is his actual teacher like? That is actually more important. So I would say don't pull him out until a very good other option appears it may give him the wrong messages.

Prep schools do have places and at this stage in term there are openings even in very good schools. London is very transitory and there is a lot of school hopping this year as people are very concerned about jobs and if a place in a good state school suddenly arises they may jump and forfeit the terms fees.

Before you start with prep schools you need to think whether you want to keep him in independent schools longterm or just primary. Consider the cost and whether you can afford the £5000+ a term that boys' secondary school cost. Then consider where you might want his potential destination to be. With boys this is a nightmare some secondary schools take at 11+ but many boys schools still take at 13+ and the different prep schools are geared to these different entry points, few do both 11+ and 13+. And then there are the pre-preps to 7 or 8 where in just two years you have to be considering the next school. It isn't as easy with boys as girls where they all change at 11+.

If your choice is a private school make sure you really do have an excellent gut feeling about it and really like the Head teacher. It is really hard to fork out huge amounts of your salary to a school that you are not happy about. It can cause real resentment. The Wow factor about the atmosphere and teaching is more important in my view than the wow factor about facilities because often those are amazing but certainly not all excellent preps have great facilities. Sit down and write a list of what your ideal school for your DS1 would look like and try to match it in reality.

Good luck with getting the right school. Like all posters are saying this must not be a rushed job and there isn't really an emergency at the school at the moment such as a terrible case of bullying or similar.

Okay OP you've made a mistake.
Now breathe.
First you need to have a look at other schools, both state and indie, in your area.
find out what they are really like - though one never really knows of course until the children are there.

Then move on to how to get it. Good state and indie schools alike may be oversubscribed. Find out how long the waiting lists are.

Tbh - cash won't get you into a prep that is full. They have maximum numbers they won't go over ( the other parents would go bonkers). However, there is always movement as families move all the time with work. So a place could come up.

If you find a prep with plenty of spaces - ask why.

Thanks all good advice. Much appreciated.

What scaryteacher says. Those of you who would be livid at having the word numeracy explained seem to think that you would be alone at the Open Evening and that the teacher's remarks would be addressed to you alone. Rather than to a mix of parents, some of whom may be highly educated, others completely uneducated, some even with mild special needs, or with English as a second or third language. As far as I can see, the teacher was trying to differentiate, using both the technical term and an explanatory one.

As for "maffs" surely that is not a foreign accent but merely a London one (dh used to speak like that in his younger days).

My cousin put her son into reception in a state school in SE London last year and changed him mid-term to a private school. You'll find one if you look around.

Tell them all about the lower class teacher who was taking into account that not all parents might know what "numeracy" means (in other words she was using differentiation in her presentation, like any good teacher would in class) and they will RUSH your application through.

I read 'budding einstein' as tongue in cheek

But TBH I am puzzled that a school can be so bad but OP was happy with it post tours and open day.

What others have said would be my opinion too. Don't panic and make another bad decision. Look at all the schools available to you and make a considered decision based on what you value for your child. That will be different for all of us

CasperTFG - ust ring up Prep schools and ask. I have a friend who has their DS at what I thought was a heavily oversubscribed Prep in London but it isnt. People move in and out of London all the time. There are always places.

My friend says that Prep schools in London like to panic parents into signing up at birth but in reality there are places. The economic downturn means that even the most popular Preps are keen to get new pupils. It only gets really difficult to get in at secondary school age.

Dear me - the perils of having your decision swayed by a pretty uniform

I am with Seeker and think this is a wind up. There surely cannot be people this stupid in the world?

Take him out, take a step back and consider your options. Home schooling a 5 year old for a bit really isn't that difficult if you need to and remember you have that option. ALWAYS trust your instincts when it comes to your children and their education - I've learnt that the hard way over the years.

I decided to take DS1 out of a high school that I knew was going to be a disaster after 5 weeks. He is now in a really good (private) school where he is very happy and doing much better than we ever hoped (he's dyslexic). Leaving him where he was would have been the easy option - he wasn't unhappy - but I would always have known that there was something better out there for him.

In fairness I am pretty stupid.

But I think the OP has said he is really stupid hasn't he.And presumeably his partner is too.
They went to the open days, went to the tours, started their child at school and still hadn't noticed that it was dreadful.

Casper - move your child! My DS got into our 1st choice school last year for reception but I was never totally sure about it. I let my DH persuade me it was the best choice when deep down there were issues that I knew I couldn't overcome. We left him there for the first year (the issues were totallty MY issues, my DS loved school and the quality of eductaion was fine) and then moved him to private school for year 1 a couple of weeks ago. Even within the first 2 weeks I absolutely love the new school. A large part of it does have to do with there being PLU at the school but I don't think you can under estimate the impact that can have. Good luck.

In defence of the op, open days and tours are a contrived to show the best side of a school.

Things can subtly change, intake can change, you can have a whole class of children who don't gel and have different needs and requirements. That coupled with a teacher who may be aiming her presentation at the lowest common denominator could be a recipe for disaster.

School went wrong for one of my sons in year 2, I wish I had removed him instantly rather than battle on for another 4 years.

OP - did you have any misgivings before your DC started school?

Often, if we have concerns beforehand, we are more alert to them than we would be if we had never given them any thought.

Beenbeta - that's interesting about prep schools. Indeed about indie schools in general.
Common sense tells me that the credit crunch must mean fewer can afford it, or perhaps are nervous to start if jobs are looking wobbly.
But on an anecdotal local level, private schools here ( home counties comutor belt) are fuller than ever. DS prep school is full in every year with waiting lists. And DD's new secondary decided to open another class for year seven because the school had a record number of applicatnts.

Oh come on Pagwach - you can't really know what anything is like until you're in the thick of it.
Schools, jobs, everything really.

Caspar, just thought I'd point out that it's ofsted. Not "offstead".

It stands for Office for Standards in Education.

Just, you know, in case anyone at your son's new school is into making snap judgements based on superficial issues.

"you can't really know what anything is like until you're in the thick of it".

You are quite right. Which means that making a decision that the whole place is a disaster after TWO WEEKS is pretty bizarre.

The first two weeks in reception are almost certainly spent settling the children down.

Wonder if the OP has heard some of the Year Sixes and they sound a bit "Gorblimey innit" like the teacher and fears his DS becoming like this too, hence the stampede for private school.

"first two weeks of ... reception year has been seriously underwhelming for us and our DS."

How whelming is Reception supposed to be? I thought it was mostly about settling in and learning social skills.

Pagwatch is right, I think. If a school is so atrocious that one needs to extract one's child after a fortnight - without (apparently) even discussing the issues with the school - then surely there would have been some inkling of that at open days, visits and in the Ofsted report. I am sure that schools do present their best possible face for open days, but even so it is a remarkable achievement to be so appalling and yet to fool Ofsted into believing that you are an outstanding school.

Our dd started at her independent school late. Basically as a summer baby she was due to start in January 2009 at our local state school. We went to an open day at her school and were very impressed by it. We found out they had a place and after an assessment she was given a place. It meant that she started end November instead of in September with the other girls in her class. It was quite difficult at first as she had a lot of catching up to do. She made friends easily and the other girls and parents were very friendly and welcoming so the social side was fine. After a few months, she caught up and she's now doing really well and loving the school.
We are very happy with our decision and felt that we made the right one.

If you are interested in indepedent schools I would contact them to see them and also find out if they have places. Not all independent schools are worth the money and some might not suit your dc's needs. Our dd's school is very academic which suits her. Our ds goes to a different school which is more laid-back and sporty, again that suits him.

Good luck!

I suspect the op had misgivings before his child went.
And when that happens you're almost on red alert to spot the things that were bugging you.
Sometimes this is circular of course - you are worried about x so everywhere you look x is jumoing up and down.
When my DC went to prep school, I had enormous reservations about independent school generally. I worried everyone would be terribly snobby and pushy. And of course, I went looking for proof almost.
Then I had a word with myself, and gave it a chance.

However, sometimes it will turn out that we were correct all along. That our fears are realsied. Sometimes we have to trust our instincts.

Out of interest has anyone read Blink by Malcom Gladwell precisely about trusting instincts. Terribly good read.

Just ignore the petty prejudices people will throw at you, if you think it's better for the kids to send them private, you know you're right.

The chances are they will get better exam results, go to a better university to complete a better degree and go on to earn more money. There are obviously exceptions but generally, everyone knows this to be the case.

Frankly, unless your local state school is very good and you can afford private education, I can't see why anyone wouldn't...