Affordable Private Education

[WhatWillSantaBring]

I don't want to get into a debate on the merits of state v private education, but does anyone have any idea on how on earth a normal, middle-class, professional couple can afford to educate their children privately?

Me and DH both work in well paid jobs as professionals. If you factor in the cost of servicing a mortgage and other essential living costs (but not including holidays, clothes and socialising) we probably have disposable income each year of about £20k (though this figure is based on our lives pre-children).

Now, maths is not my strong point, but are there any ways that we could educate three children privately for that less than that amount (as we do have to clothe them and ourselves!)? Remember, its not just the basic fees, its the extras that are part and parcel of private education - music lessons, uniforms, school trips etc.

I can't believe that private education has become soley the preserve of the super-wealthy but I struggle to see how else it can be afforded.

PS we have no rich grandparents that we can call on!

So you are only having 2 children when you would like more because you aren't prepared to use the education system that 93% of the population use???????? That is just bizarre!

It depends where you live seeker, really it does. As I said upthread, our 5 local primary schools have not a single blade of grass between them.
The big problem is the inequity of provision in the state sector across the country.
Civil's local school sounds fantastic- but why don't all children have access to that standard of provision?

Butnot to have a child because it would have to go to a State school? Regardless of where you live that it bizarre!

Including transport (school minibus) the annual senior school fees are ~£5500, but otherwise, fees as I said before.
I am in Norfolk.

I imagine it's not the sort of private school that most people truly want when they say they want private ed (except Xenia, at least she's completely honest!). A lot of consumers of private schools want elitism, maybe you always do have to pay thru the nose for that. But then by definition, an elitist education will be beyond the means of most families, even qualified & gainfully employed two-income professional couples.

That link I gave earlier described annual school fees of under £5k in London, though.

I'm sure that isn't susie's only reason!
However, the fact that someone will not have more than 2 for medical reasons can make it easier to make a decision to go independent.

Ragged, I think you may soon be responsible for a mass exodus to Norfolk.

There are all sorts of reasons not to have more than two besides school fees and medical reasons

Sorry what's wrong with a school having not a blade of grass? My dc's school doesn't because we're in an inner city area, but it does have a vegetable patch. In fact, many of the private schools round us have no outside space at all, let alone grass.
As for the swimming pool thing, I've never understood why this is such a draw for people. Ours use the local public pool and we also take them for (private, what with all the money we've saved) lessons after school. How often do children actually need a swimming pool?

I think Mel Gibson has been quoted as saying (pre-divorce!) that the reason he had 6/7 kids is because he could afford to!

I know plenty of people who've limited the size of their family partly due to financial reasons - making sure you can give the quality of life you want to give to all of your children. Equally, I know another family who had more children than they intended, sent the eldest to private school and then realised they couldn't afford to send the rest so home schooled them. Nothing wrong with either tack, as each person's reasons for how many children they have is an entirely personal decision.

Ragged I'm not sure i'll be hotfooting it up to Norfolk... not enough hills you see! However, its the existence of schools like yours that I'm interested in. The worst thing (IMHO) about the big public schools is the elitism, so as long as my children get a good quality of all round education (with music, sports and drama as standard) I don't give a stuff who they go to school with (within reason - might get a bit upset if they're at schools where the kids carry knives). Mind you, although I detest elitism and snobbery that some public school children come out with, I think inverted snobbery is just as bad, if not worse!

Yes basically. Not totally to do with schooling, we were pretty much on the fence about 2 or 3.

DH probably more keen to have 3 but I do want a certain quality of life and that quality of life would be a lot harder to maintain with 3 (not just the school but all the other costs, I think going form 2 to 3 is quite a big jump as you no longer 'fit' iyswim)

I know it might seem bizarre but I really feel strongly about it, our local schools are not that great and secondary is appalling. I would rather given 2 what I consider to be a great education than 3 an average one. I do live in a very deprived borough in London and we did not 'get' the whole school thing when we moved house.

I appreciate our decision might seem odd to many but its absolutely the right one for us.

what is the school costing 9k a term - wanted to know if it was near to me.

From memory schools around here (Kent/Sussex borders) cost from £1700-£2800 a term (pre prep) £2400-£4800 (prep) and then £4500-9500 (secondary)
We have three children but spaced so that makes it more affordable.
We would never have been able to afford it if all three were closer in age.
I know many people (MIL for one) that limited the amount of children due to financial constraints. Just because one of those constraints was school fees doesn't make it wrong! Priorities can vary but being financially rsponsible is a good thing IMO.
FWIW the extras that we pay are very very small - much less than I was worried about when DS1 started.

Stressed2007 Sevenoaks charges around that for boarders.

Most people stop their families for a number of reasons and finance is one of them

We could afford more than two children, but having a third would make life complicated in terms of work, money, flights abroad, housing (we only have a smallish three bedroomed house), sibling relationships, health, age, size of car.

It wouldn't be a disaster if we had a third - could move out of posh village into larger house, business could be put on hold, I could stop taking arthiritus drugs for a bit, husband could put off retirement - but I think many people get to a point when they are enjoying what they have and wonder whether there is any point disrupting it all.

Winchester is 9.5k per term day fees

I can understand why it would be that much for boarders - would have thought that was on the expensive side of average cost.

That much for day fees? Totally unbelieveable. What are they using to write with - gold ink?

stressed DS's school is in West Sussex and that is for full boarders. It has gone up over 1k a term from september which is ridiculous

can u give me a clue which one - don't say it out loud if you don't want to.

1k a term increase is ridiculous - not all people can just magic up a post tax extra 3k on no notice. It is very poor planning by the school.

"many people get to a point when they are enjoying what they have and wonder whether there is any point disrupting it all. "

That is exactly how I feel.

begins with H
I agree, bloody stupid with only a terms notice. DH worked out increase was about 11.5%. Since when is everyones wages going up by that?

I know several people who never see their children in the week. They are working ridculous hours in order to send them to boarding school. Their reason? They never see the children because they work such long hours, so they'd be happier boarding than home alone with nannies.

It seems a bit catch 22 to me.

They went to boarding school themselves and simply cannot imagine an alternative for their dcs, private day schools don't cut the mustard and state?No waaay.

Hurstpierpoint by any chance phoenix? That is a crazy fee rise.

sue exactly, don't want to buy the bloody school

It was on my list of possibles for DDs 6th form. It is not now. Thanks Phoenix.

sue don't let me put you off. It is an excellent school and DC is doing exceptionally well there. Am very impressed with the school (have a DC at a different boarding school and both went to a prep school) and it is by far the best.

Excellent for 6th form, they have lots of students who join in 6th form who all seem to do very well. Also, they are from all walks of life and from all over the world which I quite like.
Please don't be put off by the fees. They do quite a lot of scholarships so worth thinking about. When would your DD be starting? Scholarships normally in the November prior to entry.