Affordable Private Education

[WhatWillSantaBring]

I don't want to get into a debate on the merits of state v private education, but does anyone have any idea on how on earth a normal, middle-class, professional couple can afford to educate their children privately?

Me and DH both work in well paid jobs as professionals. If you factor in the cost of servicing a mortgage and other essential living costs (but not including holidays, clothes and socialising) we probably have disposable income each year of about £20k (though this figure is based on our lives pre-children).

Now, maths is not my strong point, but are there any ways that we could educate three children privately for that less than that amount (as we do have to clothe them and ourselves!)? Remember, its not just the basic fees, its the extras that are part and parcel of private education - music lessons, uniforms, school trips etc.

I can't believe that private education has become soley the preserve of the super-wealthy but I struggle to see how else it can be afforded.

PS we have no rich grandparents that we can call on!

We've budgeted £100k for one child & bought a house outside of London for £100k less (& much bigger BTW) in the sticks. Are you prepared to move? Given the quality of life we all now enjoy we have never looked back! Jobs have to be mobile though & you must be prepared to move away from family for this option.

We did independent for the ds' throughout reception and juniors.

They could have stayed til 16 but we were all so sick of the parents dictating to the teachers and a very high proportion of needy parents and children.

So now they both go to the local comp which is fantastically well run and gets great results. The ds have local friends and are accessing far better extra curricular activities and younger more dynamic teachers .

If I had my time again they would go to the local primary school too.

People I know who send their kids private made two decisions

1. To stop at either one or two kids
2. To not go on holiday, live in smaller house, not get new car etc etc

One friend I have is the only person in her local mummy group who sends private. they are always going on about how loaded she must be but actually she has to be very frugal wheras most of them have bigger houses and go on fancy holidays

It takes sacrifice - my parents did it too though so I don't think it's recent - just the way it goes

There has to be something fundamentally wrong with the running of private schools for things to have changed so much in a generation

It is the running of society that has gone wrong soemwhere that has changed things in a generation.

Where mothers were able to stay at home and fathers earnt a wage, now mothers and fathers work and both earn the same wage that one person did one generation ago - well depending how old you are. The workforce has changed, cos they let anyone with money go to private school now - I did a lady's air and she was 0, she whispered in my ear that her dad was in trade but he had squared it with the town mayor to get her in to the private girls school, private schools didn't take girl's whos fathers were in trade es things have changed since she was at school in the 1900's ( this was obver 12 years ago this conversation)

Things have changed but the school fees have always been steep and always gone up well above inflation - and tha was in the 1970's - it is just the same today in the 20teens

And don't forget that private schools can suddenly shut down without a moment's notice...

That never happens in state schools.

Imagine if your DCs were weeks away from taking their exams...

All the wedgies in the state sector would suddenly be worth it...

There's ways to get around this. Not all private schools are expensive, some offer sibling discounts, some offer a discount for a lump sum payment (make sure you have insurance if the school goes under though). Have a look at what is on offer around you and take it from there.

Good thread.

We have three dcs and earn a fairly decent amount between us, but haven't a hope of private schools because we have stretched ourselves to buy a decent house instead. We made that choice because luckily there are good state schools here.

I guess we could have stayed in our tiny cottage but we had to balance our standard of living against the chance of a private education and we chose the former. I strongly believe that my dcs will make the best of themselves at state school, although I do get the odd pang that they won't have the private education I did.

My local friends who send their kids private are all either (a) loaded or (b) stopped at one/two children.

OP - "At the moment this is all theoretical - LO#1 is on its way, so its things like this that I'm thinking about".
You don't even have any DCs yet and this is what you choose to worry about? Not sure if that make me more angry or sad.

I suppose you start saving like mad now and investing the money. The early stage of private ed are no worse than sending a child to nursery/ childminder.

Personally I would rather save to help kids with uni education. State schools can be pretty good these days

For us the only way it's just about do-able is to have no more than two dcs. If paying for education weren't a bit of a must (we're in catchment for very poor schools) I really would be considering having more children. We'd also live in a bigger house. It's having massive life-changing implications in order to be afforded, but I used to work in one of our catchment schools, and vowed before I left for maternity that I couldn't let him go there, so even though time away from it has weakened my feelings, I don't feel I should go back on that.

ooosabeauta - I think it is actually quite sad that limited education choices have actually made you put aside your wish for more children (though I do understand it, I suppose, it's very sensible). I always wanted three, I had three, and only then did we decide how we would manage - and we have. The wish to have three kids came above everything else for me. But I have always been someone who takes each day as it comes.

It costs £12000 per year to send my two to private kindergarten and primary. I am intending them going to private at secondary as we're not in a grammar school area. As private schools go it is known as being affordable and in fact is cheaper than the nurseries the boys were in prior to school age. Consequently it was less of an issue to keep paying once they went to school.

If the boys didn't go private I would be able to afford a bigger house (currently small 3 bed semi in good but not great area). My car was second had. It's six years old and won't be replaced until it dies. We do have a one week foreign holiday per year but it's either camping in France or staying with relatives (and I book the flights on low cost air lines as far in advance as possible so as cheap as possible). We don't buy designer clothes or buy the latest gadgetry unless original item is broken and beyond repair.

QuantaCosta - tbh my lifestyle doesn't sound a lot different from yours. We have a decent house, it's true, but hardly a mansion, it's just that we live in costly Surrey. But we don't have anything approaching £12k p/a spare.

DancingHippo- in my area the gap between state and independent sector at primary is just as vast as that at secondary level- independent pre-/preps have:
mother-tongue MFL teachers; swimming pools; small adult:child ratios; children in infant school read aloud to an adult more than once per week; before- and after- school care that doesn't require a 4 year wait; food cooked on-site; actual, genuine playing fields - sadly none of our local state schools have any of those resources- we looked around 5.

Vallhala said:
"The other alternative is to give your children a 4-to-1 education with a curriculum entirely of your choice (or no curriculum at all, just a child-led, autonomous education), by the people who care about and know them better than anyone else... you and your DH."

That could be a good option, especially if you and/or your husband find that you enjoy your children's company so much that you would rather be with them most of the time instead of working out of the home full-time to pay someone else to educate them.

Alternatively, a few families who can afford to do so hire a nanny or tutor to home educate their children. I don't know that you could quite bring it in under £20k, but I should think it would compare favourably to the cost of sending three or more children to private school.

I shudder in horror at the idea of Home-Ed (fine for others, but would send me to the insane asylum!)

The private school DS will attend costs about £4.5k in primary, £6k in secondary (per year, I'm not worried about "music lessons" and "school trips" because he's not into any of that). It's a cheap and cheerful sort of private school to boost DS's self-esteem and let him avoid the SATs factory experience of a conventional Yr6, not a "prep" or "public" school at all.

Bit naive to think that private prep is a standard sort of middle class / middle income thing to have.

Has anyone linked to this?

ragged You are lucky those costs around her are per term. Thats why my kids are at State school.

Some people "borrow" to afford private school. Some live in dodgy areas to send their kids privately.

But when Surgeon's from the local hospital send their kids to the local comp (it is good) because they couldn't afford private; that does show how expensive it is here.

Ragged, sounds like you have a bargain. What area do you live in? Our nearest local, not very high achieving private school, costs £5500 a term.

My perception is that around us the only people in private schools either have one or two senior doctor parents (2no. 100k plus salaries), or have minor celebratory parents, or have parents who sold internet companies, or have a father who works at a senior level in the city.

You don't meet many professional parents (e.g. local solicitor mum plus teacher dad) who send their children to private schools; they generally send them to state schools.

We are members of the sports club at a local private school and the parents are a) old, b) very wealthy, c) supported by wealthy grandparents.

This is partly because our local private schools are expensive (12k a year), not very good and our state schools are considered good (lots of Oxbridge applicants from the local state schools).

You can't do it. Or you can, but you will be severely financially compromised - either making big lifestyle sacrifices, or in debt. In our area, very few of the middle class / go private. Certainly not the professional classes. Private schols tend to be for the super rich / old money, or for new money small business people with 'loadsa wonga' and flash cars (stereotyped but true).

Also, look very carefully at state schools before dismissing them.

Our dds school looks bad on paper - every year its sats results are poor on average because it has an autistic centre attached and some disadvantaged children.

However, looking more carefully at the statistics, bright children do very well. (Actually, most children do very well with respect to their abilities) It also has playing fields, a swimming pool, an amazing library, family allotments, sports fixtures every Saturday, lots of exciting trips. And, it's all free!

Meanwhile, the local prep schools do very little with their nicely behaved but not necessarily exceptionally bright children. And charge a fortune for their cricket kit!

However, lots of people feel more comfortable if they see people like them at the gate, so in our town, professional people tend to flock to certain state schools and non-professionals flock to others. (and the super rich go to private schools with extensive and attractive grounds, but not necessarily particularly good teaching). I think the fees go on grass cutting!

I think one of the earlier posters said something along the lines that I shouldn't be worrying about these things now. I am slightly neurotic and worry about the craziest things (as my DH will testify) but as private education is so eye-watering and will require so many major life decisions, its something it seems you have to think about many years in advance.

The question of what sacrifices you have to make isn't really the thing that I'm questioning as I already realise that holidays, cars, handbags and Waitrose would all have to go (though for the record, of the above, holidays are the only thing we indulge in - one of our cars is a clapped out old banger, the other is a bicycle ) - its more the question of whether there are any private options which I would call affordable - and with the exception of ragged's school, there don't seem to be!!

Despite having serious reservations about boarding schools generally (and yes, I went to one) state boarding seems to be quite attractive, particularly if you live in an area without good state schools.

I like that article in the times - particular the example in the lower part of the article, which pretty much sums it up!

Ragged that sounds very cheap. Is that seriously per year and not per term?
DS's fees have just gone up to just over 9k a term

This is why we are only having 2, I know, it sucks!