Quick straw poll- what do/would you do?

[Bucharest]

Just wondering if I'm a bit soft really...

I bought a Next Jacket for dd - dead cheap- to replace the identical but small one she had last year....it never arrived...(6 weeks ago) with all the bank hols and nice communication from seller I held off opening a dispute and then of course it was too late....I emailed her again and she has refunded me the cost of the jacket, but says the postal fees are not her responsibility once she hands over to Royal mail...

Now I know this, and tbh, for the sake of £3 postage I'm not going to ruin this woman's f/b or get stroppy (have emailed her now to say thankyou and better luck next time etc) but I was thinking- the 2 times this has happened to me, I just refunded everything straightaway....not because of f/b fears or anything, but simply because it seems the correct thing to do, morally...(I've also told her on the slight offchance the jacket will arrive, then I will of course pay her back the refunded money- which I will, because I hope someone would do the same for me)

Am I too soft for ebay???

When this has happened to me I have tried to track down the parcel first with the royal mail and then claimed the money back from them. Think you can claim up to £32 for normal mail, and more if recorded or special.
Don't think you are too soft, but wouldn't automatically refund it without doing some research into what has happened.
I'd ask her to investigate.

a refund should include the p&p - always.

it is up to the seller to claim back from royal mail.

I really wouldn't be so soft next time. If buying and selling is done by the rules it all works out ok.

You should ask for a FULL refund including the postage. The seller will claim similar back from Royal Mail. It is their responsibility to do this, not yours.

If they refuse to refund all your money, you can always open a paypal dispute and you will get all your money back. In this case, you don't have to leave feedback if you don't want to.

As a seller, it has only happened to me once and I refunded all the money and then I put in a claim with Royal Mail. I received all my money back. No-one loses out this way.

Thanks all. Yes, the (twice) my stuff didn't arrive I just refunded everything...

Am feeling more about ebay this afternoon as some fab trainers for dd just arrived and are even better than I imagined, so I shall breathe deeply and harden up for next time!