What's the most stupid question a buyer has ever asked you?

[corygal]

Greetings to the fine wise women of Ebay. I am ebaying some nice stuff - Issa and similar - and, not counting the endless questions about 'can i come and see the Marni dress - let me know your exact address and when you're out' - I've got some eye-popping queries.

One woman has taken vile offence because I suggested that wearing a camisole under a cardigan was her 'personal choice' and ranted 'I have not received an acceptable reply from you'. Someone else got abusive about SLEEVELESS DRESS when I confirmed there were no sleeves and referred her to pictures. She wanted sleeves, badly.

Is this normal - or should that be 'normal for e-bay'?

I dunno, I've had some seriously idiotic questions but yours do sound bonkers. I'm getting to the end of my wick with ebay to be honest, I despair of some of the people I've had to deal with of late and am not sure it's worth the money you're left with after everyone's had their cut...

I must say I agree with you. I've done two sales. I can't see a third.

Last time I ended up with 15 per cent of items 'lost in the post' then two people complained when they got fantastic designer cashmere for under a fiver with 'a cat hair'.

I lost a decent amount of money and five cashmere jerseys, which naturally never came back.

This time, within three days I'd had nothing but:

• four requests for the address where the designer stuff was held and details of when I was out - "I would so love to see....."
• two fake 'Buy It nows' being sold to non-payers, involving removing the items. Both fake buyers were selling similar items at the time.
• Lunatics, none of whom was that polite.

People who buy Boden kids clothes and other middle-class clothing items (eg White Stuff) on ebay are generally nice to deal with, ime, make of that what you will.

The trick I think is to put all the possible detail in the listing, including actual measurements as well as the listed size. But yes, you can put the location of the item (for pickup purposes) in VERY BIG LETTERS in the body of the listing, and people will still email to say, "Whereabouts are you?" and you have to reply without including the words 'Read the fucking listing, why don't you' in your answer (always a challenge, I find).

When I first started selling on ebay many moons ago, I asked for advice on MN beforehand. Someone helpfully replied, "The intellectual capacity of ebay buyers is extremely variable". How very true that is. [weary]

Oh, and there is a law which states that the more of a bargain the buyer has got, the more likely they are to be arsey. I always worry when things sell for 99p, cos those are the buyers that kick off about something really pathetic, like the fact that you've used recycled packaging, or the dress happens not to fit them despite the fact that you've included every measurement you could possibly come up with in the item description. You'd think they'd just be pleased they'd got a bargain and STFU, but apparently not. I don't understand it, but that's how it seems to go.

I listed a bundle of dd2's clothes last night, as you can only put £4 (max) on a clothing listing i selected 'courier' which states 'please read the listing or contact seller for postage details', on the bottom of my listing (in large writing) i put 'postage to uk £10'. So i get up this morning to find 4 questions for the bundle of clothes all asking 'how much is postage' , do people not read the listing? so tempted to tell them to 'read the bloody listing as it states postage is £10'.

There was the 'could you deliver the item in person?' - to somewhere in rural Spain!
Like the above poster, it's the things that go for 99p (or shock, horror, £1.04!) that cause the most grief and really snotty buyers. I keep meaning not to list anything for under a fiver but recently I found a stash of Ladybird books and thought they'd be easy to list and post... I swear 6 out of 10 sales led to snottiness, and before that I'd sold over 100 items with no problem at all except the odd numpty wanting me to post somewhere overseas without asking first (and they all accepted the prices I gave them which included a couple quid numpty tax!), and a couple people wanting to know where their item was the day after posting.

That has cheered my soul, thanks. Anyone who starts a post 'I'm sorry to be a nuisance but' barely avoids my auto-response

"Thank you for your inventively stupid question about this item. We have forwarded it to CORYGAL'S CUSTOMER SERVICES - BY THE BEWILDERED FOR THE BEWILDERED, who will not reply.

In the event you wish to commit a fraud, please be aware that the seller is now out of stock of desirable designer items."

I couldn't agree more - the bird who got Brora for £1.04 became as physically threatening as you can get online (still unnerved) while the lone buyer who coughed the full BIN for some new Westwood shoes was charming.

I have resolved to put any old tat on at BIN £100 - the e-bay rules of social mobility rules mean that might introduce me to a better class of person.

I refunded someone recently because I had to go to the other side of the country (imminent death in family) , I just couldn't find all the bits of the bundle I'd sold and I had about an hour to pack up the entire family and get us to where we needed to be. Explained all this nicely to the buyer who kicked off because they wanted me to have a rummage around for other bits to make up the bundle, and send it anyway. From the other side of the country. In between sitting with dying relative.

That's AWFUL. My jaw is hanging o-p-e-n at my desk. What makes people think they can behave like this? Can't e-bay see by not acting they are condoning this behaviour?

I really feel for you. Mind, I got done twice (aiee, the shame) by e-bay for not talking to sellers because Dad nearly snuffed it the week they emailed. Then I ignored the wrist-slap because Dad nearly went again (don't ask, he's fine now) which provoked another 20 emails.

Starting "Best message of the day" board on e-bay might be more hand-rubbingly addictive than MN, and that's saying something.

I would ban that buyer if you haven't already.

Shame you didn't make up the weight of the bundle by weeing on it.

Hi corygal - dammit, if only I'd thought of weeing on it! I might ban the cheeky witch, especially as she left me shit feedback claiming I didn't contact her. I did contact her - I sent her an email with the refund explaining the situation but apparently she was too stupid to read it.

Just ban the ghastly trout.

I am cracking my knuckles and limbering up for an evil row with a bird who is about to buy a nice cashmere dress for 99p. Will advise on progress. May nip into the PO to find out how much extra cat hair costs to post....

Fed up with ebay - thought it would be great to make a little bit.
However lots of items sell for 99p and by the time Paypal and Ebay take their cut I'm left with about 68p - which is not a lot of money taking into account the hassle to wrap and take 1 mile to the nearest post office.

Worst one was when finally getting round to selling old engagement ring and put a Buy Now on it. Sold within hours to someone with no history and said they'd pay the funds into Paypal once I could confirm the Special Delivery No. The address was in Nigeria. So yes of course I would send this expensive ring in the post, tell them the no. and they'd put the money into my paypal account?? Ehm nope!

I sold a baby's sleeveless pinafore dress / tunic to someone who then sent a message complaining that there was a big hole in it. I replied saying it was in perfect condition when I sent it but that if they weren't happy they could return it etc. I think they must have then realised it was either the head or an arm hole because they ended up keeping it and left positive feedback.

I sold my spare bed last year to make room for the cot. Was advertised as an auction but with a £ 99 Buy it Now. Half way through the auction, once people has started bidding, I had a really stroppy message from a woman saying she hadn't bid yet, but had "hired a van and everything" and so could she have it at the buy it now price. Wasn't best pleased when I told her she wasn't acting in the spirit of EBay and she should bid like everyone else.

Cory, I think you need to link to your listings, I'd like to buy some bargain cashmere, and I'm really nice. [ingratiating]

I think I've been pretty lucky all told, but I am quite selective about what I list -- I generally start at 99p but only list things I think will go for quite a bit more. Cheaper items are far more trouble for much less profit.

There are options to block people who have really poor feedback or are abroad, or various not-very-nice things in their ebay history -- def worth doing ime.

I was selling a cooker for my parents, who live about 200 miles from me.
In the listing I put in massive letters that the item was not at my address but at my parents and listed the town.

Despite this I had to cancel two bids from people who bid and then realised they lived too far away to collect it. Then to top it off the winning bidder withdrew as they hadn't realised where it was and couldn't collect. I then offered it to the next higher bidder who accepted but then withdrew as they realised it was 200 miles away.

So that is 4 people in total who in theory read the listing and yet still bid on something that needed collecting 200 miles away! Bah

I've had a woman who wanted to get into a conversation with me and be my friend.
I like your things take a look at mine.
I sold her a jacket that was 99p and she complained that it was bought from tx maxx-original price was £200.
It's true Boden customers on ebay are nice but Primark peiople buying don't pay or are very late payers!

Oh and I sold an old tumble dryer.

Woman bought it. I demonstrated it working in my house. She took it. Within 12 hours she had emailed to say I had sold her a broken tumble dryer . Then within another 4 hours she had opened a dispute with me (I hadn't replied as I can't access eBay at work). I suggested that it was perhaps her electrics in her house that were at fault as the machine had worked at my house. Anyone I said if she brought it back she could have her money back. She brought it back and got a refund. She left. I plugged th machine in and it worked. She left me neutral feedback.

In the end I gave it away of freegle. It cost £20!

Not so much a stupid question but after listing a few antiques that contained ivory I had a tirade of abuse from various international bidders who had had their bids rejected. Ebay automatically rejected these bids because of the strict rules about selling ivory outside of the uk however they didn't understand this and figured I had chosen to reject them because I'm a "disgusting racist bitch"! NICE.

I'm not sure about being asked why I was selling a changing bag - surely that is my business. Is that a normal question or not? TBH I was selling the brand new bag because it was sent to me by the manufacturer as a replacement for one where the zip had broken and I had discovered in the 6 months that I had the bag that it was crap in other ways so I didn't particularly want a new one. I didn't really want to share this with bidders as it implied that the bag was shit.

I was selling a pair of daughter's sandals, about age 8 I think, and a buyer from Denmark asked for photos of her wearing them with no socks on.

I felt very ill, and blocked the buyer, and I think I replied saying why the flip you weirdo, I still feel sick now when I think about it.

Fergoose, that is horrid. Really made me shudder.

I had a query this week on a lovely little Monsoon baby dress, BNWT, starting price of £10. People had already placed bids, and 2 hours before auction end some cheeky cow emailed me asking if I would sell it for £8 including postage, and she could gift pay by Paypal so I wouldn't have to pay eBay fees...

But people had bid on it!

I listed a Bumbo as collect only, clearly stating my area, and had about 50 people email asking 'where are you' about a day before auction end and getting upset that I didn't respond in time for them to bid - when the listing could not have been clearer.

eBay is irritating, and low value items are really not worth it after listing fees and eBay's cut. I'm not going to do any more 99p starts.