Eating Disorder Clinic want to send my daughter to an inpatient eating disorder unit

[FedUpToTheBackTooth]

Please could anyone with experience of this help me. The eating disorder clinic want to send my daughter (16 years old 77% weight for height) to an eating disorder inpatient unit. I am really worried that this would be very bad for her and that she is safer at home. Please can someone with experience of this let me know what you think of inpatient care and any advice on what I need to be saying or asking?

Thank you in advance for any help.

Thanks for thinking of me. My daughter spent 13 weeks on the ward. The ward staff were great especially the psychologist and the CAMHS school. She was obviously very distressed for most of the time as it is really not a great place to be, no matter how good the staff are.

She was so strong and managed to sit all her exams on the ward. She got ten 9s and an 8. We had prepared for her doing really badly so that was a nice surprise and really boosted her confidence. I think that the exams kept her going so I would definitely say to any one going through the same situation, don’t just assume that it is better not to take the exams. The focus meant that she didn’t get drawn into the competitive eating behaviours with the other girls.

The discharge from the ward was a bit of a nightmare as the ward told her she was being discharged but the community ED clinic then tried to fight her being discharged as they felt it was too soon. It all just ended up being messy, confusing and stressful and impacted her recovery. I wish they had discussed it and come to a decision before telling my daughter!

She has started sixth form now and the transition has been hard. She is still very much in the grip of the eating disorder but she is also determined to never go back to the ward so trying her best to fight it. It’s just so hard. I wonder if it would be better for her to have a year off school but I don’t really know.

It is very hard and it seems like this will never end. Sorry for the long reply. It feels like in real life I can’t talk too much about it as it has been going on so long that people don’t want to hear any more.

How lovely to hear from you @FedUpToTheBackTooth you must be so proud of your daughter.

Please feel free to post anytime. I know what you mean about real life. I told people different elements of it in real life, so sometimes typing it all really helps.

Sixth form is a hard transition, so I understand how this must be for your daughter.

I really hope she is still receiving the support she needs.

This is a hard time for you as things get more back to normal. I found when things calmed down I felt sort of worse if that makes sense. Like it all hit me.

What an incredible achievement to get those grades in such tough conditions. She must really be a fighter. It's so hard to know what's best for them when it comes to schooling, I think all we can ever do is make a best guess and see how it plays out. I really hope she manages to keep fighting.

Keep talking to us here when you need to, I don't think there are words to really describe what it's like to people who haven't been through it.

Hi, my DD is 19 and has had anorexia since she was 13. Had multiple general hospital admissions and inpatient. Last hospital admission for Ng feeding was June through to July and was discharged with Ng tube for care at home.
Sorry you’re in this position, I know what you mean when you say people get sick of hearing about it when it’s completely taken over your life and there’s no respite. Whereabouts in the country are you?

Well she'll be sectioned if she doesn't go willingly. May as well just go.
She obviously has a dangerously low BMI as beds at these units are very very rare and difficult to get into.
It won't be fun but it could well save her life.

Thanks for the understanding. It is exhausting, isn’t it? I am constantly feeling guilty for letting her down, questioning every decision I make, feeling judged by the clinic for not being able to do what they expected us to do.

@TootUnCarMoon we are in the South East. I’m sorry your daughter is going through this too.

I found CAMHS really tough going, Adult services is a million times better.
I’m in the South East too, just outside Greater London 😊

My 14 years old daughter BMI 15 started Olazapin 5mg with CAMHS didn’t work now we gone back to lower dose 2.5mg.anorexia is so strong she cutting her calories day by day
CAMHS referral inpatient unit we just waiting for bad, she didn’t start school since September.
so much nervous about send her to inpatient unit.

@Patear so sorry to hear this. It sounds like she needs the intensity of the inpatient setting. It’s hard, very hard but it will save her from this acute decline and hopefully give her the tools to stay strong afterwards. My daughter is very recently discharged, please message me if needed. Maybe now focus on getting things ready for the transition, comfy clothes, pictures printed, some nice toiletries, books etc. hopefully you will get a list of helpful things to take and banned items. There is likely to be a hospital school also for her to attend. Sending strength your way.