Teen Eating Disorders Thread 7

[Lottsbiffandsmudge]

We have managed to fill the previous Thread here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/eating_disorders/4471980-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-6?page=40

So I thought I would start a new one.

Everyone supporting a young person with and ED is welcome here for advice (non professional but lived experience) and support.

Hoping everyone can find us...

@Whyisthishappeningtous Thank you for your encouragement very much needed x and thank your for sharing your experience it has reassured me a little

@Girliefriendlikespuppies oh gosh I am going to need to up my game with hiding cream and butter ! Although bless her she really was trying harder than I have ever seen she voluntary asked for fear foods such as pizza, cake and brownies so I think she was having about 3,000 a day but now she is refusing again saying there is no point.

I don’t know if I am just too emotional right now but I got annoyed at the nurse as she had a 5 min lecture to my D about what a waste of food it is not to eat her dinner and how many people don’t have enough money for food right now in this country and would be jumping over backwards to have a free meal

@LittlePickleHead could u add anything to the shop bought ones and decant them saying the lid seal broke or something ? Not sure how feasible that is sorry ! Also sorry if you have already tried this but sometimes my D was is more open to ‘healthy foods’ so although it costs a fortune M&S do an apple and peanut butter dip product in their food to go and D would eat that rather than a chocolate bar yet it was 330 calories equally you could try almond butter or avocado ? Sadly now my D focuses on calories so it doesn’t matter what it is as it’s just a number to her so but butters are out of the picture

Sorry *nut butters !

I should add when my D was more centred on health foods not calories dates were really good you can make ‘healthy sugar free, gluten etc etc !’ Energy balls which are tiny but calorific

I would def suggest getting meal replacement drinks from GP..I never did this but I think others have used them. So if meal not finished after 30 mins (say) then a drink has to be taken or its straight to hospital, same for snacks. Others will have amounts and timings.
It sounds like the ED is really digging in. It needs to be challenged.
What would happen if you 'ran out' of branded smoothies? Could you use that as a way to get home made ones in.
I also think you need to kepep serving up your plan. And go through the pain of trying ro get her to eat it. You need to show resolve in the face of the ED

@lovewinter that's so tough. It does take a while even at those sorts of cal levels to stop the decline, stabilise and then increase weight. Its a wierd thing. I guess the body is just desperate to replace stuff which prob doesn't weigh that much! I am not a biology expert but I remember that the weight gains were v slow to get going and then in no way linear even if the exact same food had been eaten!
I guess you just need to keep getting her to try. Is she not blind weighed? It might help as when my DD asked how the week had gone I'd just say that everything was going the right way even if she hadn't gained. A 200g loss is neither here nor there it's really a maintain allowing for clothing, water etc.
I always weighed at home, blind, first thing in the morning after a wee, in PJs on the same day of the week. And at home.
I never allowed anyone else to weigh her (except the really annoying nurse at her ECG who would not not do it and proceeded to tell her her weight which resulted in 2 days of food refusals).

@Lottsbiffandsmudge Thank you for your advice, she is blind weighed as similar to you she has had refusal after knowing she has weighed so she doesn’t know her weight but it is obvious she has lost as she was admitted to hospital after her obs were done. She has ‘weighing’ clothes ! So it is the same each time but obviously I can’t account for general every day weight fluctuations so I am treating it as a maintain but as it is 72% wfh coupled with low heart rate the nurse said she ‘can’t afford not to gain’

So sorry... my heart goes out to you. Doing everything 'right' and still ending up in hospital must be v hard to take...

I know you're all right. I made dinner and it was uneaten, she did have some huel instead.

I'll keep trying - GP appt tomorrow so I'll ask for meal replacement and follow the plan.

Not sure how to get her back to school

Hello, have just discovered this thread and am working my way down the posts. So sorry to read so many young people struggling.

I am wondering whether anyone would be kind enough to share with me what a typical 2200 kcal daily intake looks like for your teens? Meals, snacks, what are they eating.

Also, any suggestions for high cal meals please? I have a child who won’t eat anything in a white sauce, amongst many other won’t eats, but it rules out rich meals such as mac cheese, fish pies etc etc and I’m really struggling with meal planning.

Thanks.

My money would be on hyper metabolism as well as the fact that your dds body will be using a lot of energy on repairing internal organs etc. I really feel for you as you are doing all the right things. Are you on the fb group? There might be some other parents that can give you more information on it although I think the only way through is huge amounts of calories. There are some that made 1000 calorie porridge for breakfast plus 800 calorie milkshakes for snacks etc.

@Wintersaroundthecorner my DH won't eat white sauce either so my meal plans never included it!
Best ones here were homemade mince beef pie with mash (hide butter and cream in that) and veg.
Stews with suet dumplings. Pork meat balls again with mash and baked beans. Adding half a can of baked beans to a meal as the 'veg' (eg either sausage and mash) really bumps up calories.
Basically red meat based meals pack most punch if you can't use dairy.
Snack wise nuts are calorie dense along with a good flapjack or granola bar (not diet versions I made my own....) and can be perceived as more healthy. Dried fruit also good.
Essentially turn every healthy eating message you have ever had on its head and prepare to put loads of weight on yourself!!!

Oh and cottage pie ot shepherd's pie. With baked beans.

Hi Wintersaroundthecorner

Unsalted butter blends well into baked beans, tinned spaghetti/pasta, tomato based pasta sauces, curry sauces, soups and gravy. Just use enough so it doesn't change the colour too much.

2000 calories per day is what I aim for but some days are more depending what I can sneak in.

My dd generally has granola with yogurt and a banana for breakfast everyday, with a sachet latte that I get 60ml of cream into. This rarely varies. Occasionally she'll have scrambled egg and sausages on the weekend.

Lunches are generally a ham and cheese toastie, half a tin of soup with a roll, beans on toast, peanut butter on toast. With a petit filous, and apple and a soreen bar or a small bowl of Graze nuts.

Dinners are chicken pasta bake, chicken curry with rice, pork stir fry with noodles, baked potatoes with fish fingers and beans, spaghetti and beef meatballs, roast chicken dinner on a Sunday. Dinners are where she gets a good punch of extra calories from added butter, olive oil, and cream. Puddings are hit and miss. Generally something like a petit filous or a ski mousse with some fruit.

2 or 3 cups of tea a day I make with half a cup milk.

Snacks are where we fall down a bit. It's usually just a alpen bar or a couple of digestives or crackers with a dairylea triangle. Sometimes she only manages only one or two snacks a day. Sometimes she'll have a frappe or smoothie if we're out. I know it's not enough but she does well with meals now so I don't push it too much as I'm scared of her slipping back to eating nothing.

Oh and I don't do much veg with main meals as don't want her portions to look too big. Dinners are mainly about carbs protein and fat with just a small portion of veg to look good. She gets her 5 a day easily from breakfast lunch & snacks.

@Wintersaroundthecorner I just PMed you a 2400 calorie meal plan we got from a nutritionist as a guide. Sorry I ended up sending multiple messages because of the way that when you put in a paragraph break, it sends the message. And then I had to delete the plan as it had DD's name in.

But hopefully it makes sense and gives you and idea of how to bump it. DD would only eat 'healthy' foods.

I would say that nut butters and cubed roast sweet potatoes were our saviours. I'd put in loads of olive oil and cube the sweet potato up small and it was about the only high calorie thing she'd eat because she perceived it to be healthy.

If she likes nut butter there are so many different ones on the market so it keeps it interesting. Pip & Nut, Nutcessity, Manilife, Yumelo (they do ones with salted dates so it gets them back into sweet things).

Sorry me again!

GP this morning and we now have some fortisip. I asked about getting her into school and whether a fortisip in the morning would be enough, and the GP said as a short term thing she thought it would be ok. I meet her for lunch anyway and so my plan was if she doesn't eat normal lunch then I take her back home for the afternoon.

My hope is seeing friends and getting back to normality after half term might help break the not eating limbo.

What are thoughts on this? I don't want to normalise the fortisip but she's going to get a really bad stomach on smoothies bulked up with oil very soon!

LittlePickleHead

Will your dd maybe have some nuts or a cereal bar along with the fortisip so she's still having something 'normal' that you can build on?

Will she manage to take a snack for break time at school?

Your plan for lunch sounds good and a good way to show her you mean business if she doesn't eat.

School is so important in many ways, not just education. Routine, socialising and getting and about in normal daily life is what's really getting my dd through this.

Hi all I dipped in and out of the previous thread.
My dd15 has Anorexia along with Crohn's disease. Last time we were at the ED clinic she'd lost 400g before that she was so close to being weight restored.
Tonight the anorexia is in full force, only ate a few mouthfuls of her tea, I'll get more fish her later though. We're back at the ED clinic on Friday, I'm hoping she's gained. I add cream to absolutely everything but this bloody illness fights me at every turn.
Sorry just needed to rant x

High calorie lunches I made for dd included;

scrambled eggs on toast - I used duck eggs and added double cream and butter (dd never noticed.)

Soups, any kind of soup you can add double cream and butter to, serve with crusty bread and more butter.

Jacket potatoes with beans (add butter to beans) and cheese.

Toasties with any fillings pack a good calorie punch.

Breakfast for my dd was always porridge made with half a tub of double cream 😬 I worked it out to be around 700 calories.

I did a lot of white sauce dinners for dd but other dinners included pesto pasta (I served with garlic bread and avocado.)

Curry (you can a lot of calories to pretty much any curry) serve with naan bread and rice.

Anything with mash potatoes, potato soaks up cream and butter really well.

What a day. I've had tears at every meal and snack today, and then complete refusal at dinner. It was a battle of wills and I think we won. She ate 3/4 of the meal we gave her, after a 2 hour stand off. I'm taking that. I just knew I couldn't let her win this one. God I need a glass of wine now....

Thanks to everyone who has replied to my question posted last night, so much appreciated. I’m fast becoming obsessed with calories and would never have thought of the sneaky additions of butter, oil etc.

We really struggle with fussiness. She won’t eat potatoes baked, boiled or mashed so many missed opportunities there, doesn’t like red meat and will eat around the mince in chilli, bolognese etc, doesn’t like rice, loves McDonalds fries or M&S Frites but not regular oven chips. The list is endless!

@Lottsbiffandsmudge I laughed at your warning to prepare to gain weight myself .. and thought of it as I cut a batch of Rocky Roads into sizes much bigger than I would usually cut them!

@Valleyofthedollymix, thank you so much. Have replied to your pm.

Thank you all again for taking the time to reply.

Winter has she always been fussy or is it more related to the ED? You can cook fries in butter... 😉

I added in a pudding to dds meal plan as she would eat that and I count it as one of her snacks (although ideally she'd have a snack as well!) So if your dd will eat puddings you can cram lots of extra calories in there. Also things like smoothies and milkshakes made with ice cream and double cream.

Yeah weight gain for the parents is almost inevitable, I weigh the most I've ever weighed now including more than when I was 9 months pregnant!!

Sorry, I'm aware all my posts are really self obsessed - I think I only come on here when I desperately need to share. I also feel like I have no advice for anyone as I know nothing and constantly feel like I'm failing. I do send sincere best wishes and strength to everyone here though. I'm also mind blown about how people get 3000 calories into their children - I am struggling massively on 1500 at the moment, which I know won't weight gain, but she doesn't know that yet.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies, she hasn’t been dx’d with an ed but if I were to say that on the child bmi calc she sits in the amber zone, you will understand. She started off a great eater has been increasingly fussy for the last 4-5 years but weight was fine until she shot up in height about 18 months ago and we thought she was tall and slim (both sides of family are that way) albeit needing more calories … so it was a shock to find her BMI so terribly low. She has been referred to a dietician but want to try and get moving whilst we wait - certainly don’t want her losing weight (she genuinely isn’t trying to - I do believe that). Puddings are high on my list, whilst trying to sneak calories into mains and making sure she snacks. Smoothies and milkshakes another good idea. One issue is that she eats very little during the school day because doesn’t like the canteen food and won’t take a packed lunch.