Teen Eating Disorders - Thread 5

[myrtleWilson]

Welcome everyone,
Our last thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4279530-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-4?watched=1&msgid=111172926#111172926

That we're on thread 5 in about a year is a reflection of the incredible increase in mental health issues, including eating disorders amongst young people over the last couple of years.

With that in mind, we thought we'd try to include some resources that have helped us along the way to date. No one resource will be a panacea but hopefully this list will be a useful starting off point for any newcomers and a reflection for others. It is our first go at sharing a list of resources on a thread so it won't be perfect!

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

anorexiafamily.com/?v=79cba1185463

www.youtube.com/evamusby

www.youtube.com/channel/UCa7G1P5WQopVMc9qTSP_lgA

www.orri-uk.com

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/

www.stgeorges.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Junior-MARSIPAN-Risk-Assessment-Framework.pdf

People to look up on social media
Hope Virgo
Ro-Recovering
James Downs
Cara Lisette
Adam Fare
BarefootRebel
Ilona Burton

Girlie hope Covid is not too bad for your DD

Betty - great news on a gain!

dark how are you doing?

@myrtleWilson thank you yes I am in a totally different place. I think I had a nervous breakdown actually. 😢 between the sertraline, having someone else take over while she was in hospital and the ED team taking me seriously I've got my feisty pants back on and I'm loading everything up as much as I can as per the Facebook group.

What is the challenge jar? I'm curious!

What's everyone doing for dinner? We've got spaghetti and meatballs with added bacon fat, lard, butter and cream then a fondant pudding with cream. Then probably a hot chocolate loaded with scandishake and cream.

Weigh in on Tuesday.

Can I ask how you all handle if if your DC gets upset if told they're doing well? DD loathes it and it makes her want to stop eating. I keep reminding clinical staff and I get how hard it is. I can't even say she's trying hard now. What the heck can I say?

the challenge jar was an exercise we did as DD began recovery - we'd each write down things to do/eat on pieces of paper (have a milkshake, have breakfast out, go for a picnic) tailored to her fears (and some non fear ones too). She'd pull a challenge from the jar and it would be done usually in the next 24 hours..

We're planning to do another one but based on confidence/independence/anxiety so the challenge may be "go for a coffee by myself" or 'go charity shopping and buy something for mom and dad"

DD1 didn't want lunch and I can't blame her because the girls and I didn't either. She was counted as vulnerable so given the first dose of the vaccine in August.

I feel so bad - this week we've been to her school, met the LD nurse from CAMHS, visited a potential future college, been to a neurology appointment (me) and the MRI department (her) at the hospital... Probably merrily spreading Covid!

It's not your fault Lougle we were the same before dds positive LFT, I felt really bad as dd had hugged my mum (in her 70s) for the first time in ages just before she started to feel ill. Luckily my mum and I managed to escape it, I wonder if the vaccine worked or that I've had it before at some point. Dd was off her food for a few days but her sense of taste changed which was annoying as things she had previously liked she doesn't now!! She still has no sense of smell!!

Interestingly got a text from track and trace today saying her negative pcr was wrong - no shit Sherlock 🙄 luckily I didn't send her back to school!!

Dark I almost feel a bit teary reading your posts, you are absolutely amazing!! Well done to you and dd (don't tell her I said that 😉.) I think it helps to tell people dos and donts in regards to what is/is not good to say to someone with an ED. That said I've told my dmum a million times not to talk about ingredients or food in good or bad terms but she just can't help herself!!

We're having veggie burgers, fries and avocado for tea! I've bought these veggie burgers from Aldi, I fry them in butter and serve in a brioche bun which also has butter in and put cheese on top for good measure!

Yes she does Myrtle I will take it back tonight and try again with breakfast tomorrow!!

Dark it is so lovely to hear the positive and gung-ho approach from you. I was really worried about you and your mental state over the last few months.
The impact it has on us as parents is indescribable. I'm really feeling it atm.
Lougle these things can't be helped. I hope you all start feeling better soon.

@Lougle please don't guilt trip yourself. You went to know and did nothing wrong.
@NCTDN thank you. tbh I was worried about myself. Never in my life had I felt so hopeless. I did think about ending it all. But I am totally on it now and will not give up until she's completely well. Mind you we should be in thr canaries now soaking up the sun and I'm more than a little peeved.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies thank you too 💗💗. Looking back I don't recognise myself. Not sure how long I'll be on meds but for now they are working miracles.

There was so much fat in dinner tonight even DH commented. I may have overdone it a little.

@DarkBlueEyes you should be flipping proud of yourself.

DD1 had a melt in the middle pudding for dinner tonight. We knew she was only going to eat a bit of food, so skipped the main and went straight for the pudding. She's down to 52.4kg now, so I've got to do something.

@Lougle what do you think is happening? That sounds like a good weight to me, however if she's losing fast then yes it's worrying. What is her weight for height?

@DarkBlueEyes she's lost 3.2kg in 6 weeks, after having no losses since mid-March, so 6 months. She's now 94% down from 99% 6 weeks ago.

I think it's a combination of having had a nasty 'Covid-like but not Covid' virus, stopping olanzapine, getting constipated and vomiting, and now 'Covid-like and possibly Covid' illness.

She's been crafty in avoiding snacks - not going to her teacher, or going then putting it in her bag, or coming home and saying 'but I've only just had snack in last lesson....', or being tired and needing a sleep mid-morning or mid-afternoon, then not eating much of dinner because she's still 'full from lunch and besides, I was sick....'

@Lougle that is indeed very worrying. I hope you can nip it right in the bud.

Ugh so had another show down over breakfast, she still left too much and has stormed off to school in a foul mood because I've kept her phone.

Ffs.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies that sucks. The phone isn't enough leverage, then. What else is there? Could you say 'no school'?

I think I probably need to hold firm for a few days lougle she's been taking the piss with breakfast for a while. She breaks up for half term tomorrow so will be at home again for ages (it's a longer than usual half term because of covid) Hopefully might give us a chance to get back on track.

I'm really upset with how she left the house though, she was so rude and unpleasant, there's no need for it.

I also found a receipt for her lunch Ystd which showed she'd eaten a lot less that she should have.

Need to chase a weight check for her as I'm sure she's lost 😕

Hope you're feeling a bit better Lougle.

Myrtle my dd loves crystals as well, I've also ordered her a crystal advent calendar!! I got hers via Amazon though, it didn't occur to me that there would be crystal for weight loss!! I'll have to check the box when it arrives.

Still feeling quite grim, tbh, but my temperature is down for now. Just going to tackle breakfast.

@myrtleWilson thank you so much for the links - I just worked out how to read a private message .

I'm going to London to see DD on Wednesday so going to ask her to weigh in on Tuesday morning. All fingers crossed she's stayed the same or put a bit on as she says she's been concentrating on trying to eat more the past week and I don't want her to get downhearted.

CAMHS have said they'll do a video appointment with us today. She's completely refused lunch, threw our GoPro in the bin, and threatened to smash my head in. She did eat breakfast though. She's 52.1kg now. She's just not eating anywhere enough. She says she's poorly, but her Covid swab has come back negative twice.

Best of luck @whethertheweather, it must be challenging to deal with when they're no longer living with you. When you try to get help I'd emphasise the weight loss - her WFH is better than my DD's but it's evidently drastically lower than she was. Sometimes the health professionals seem to judge on absolute weight rather than relative weight which is unhelpful given that everybody has different levels of normal for them.

We've had a bit of a s**t time with a hunger strike from DD, leading to A&E, who were a bit useless and clearly thought we were the crazy ones. Then with bad parenting bribery she's back on track but she has this obsession with not wanting to be a gram over the minimum 'healthy' weight according to the NHS calculator. She says I want her to be heavier than a healthy weight with a healthy weight being this 3rd centile. We oscillate between 40 and 43/44kg continually and I feel like we're treading water.

Today we were assessed for a more intensive programme at a different hospital, still outpatients. I don't know whether it'll be more of the same and if we're just delaying some sort of inevitable outpatient situation.

@Lougle gosh you must be worried. When I had covid my sense of taste and smell meant my appetite disappeared. Sorry I must have missed whether you said your daughter had had it too.

@Valleyofthedollymix our daughters sound very similar. She’s also insisting she’s now healthy. She had gained yesterday and is now 45.4 kg - I think that’s 83% wfh. She’s very upset and has been very reluctant to eat today.
I managed to book her a covid jab though ahead of the others having them in school. One less thing to worry about.

Oh @Valleyofthedollymix - can you avoid using the healthy weight site? It specifically says that it shouldn't be used for people with eating disorders.

DD1 eventually ate the sandwich without crusts. DH has tested positive on lateral flow now.

Ha, I forgot to mention that DD tested positive for Covid yesterday! She said her hummus tasted of nothing and lo the LFT came up with a double line. I thought she was immune because her siblings have both had it at different times. She was even vaccinated last week!

I'm annoyed because I've been asking our various professionals whether I should be pushing for an early jab for DD for months now. Fortunately she's not using it as an excuse not to eat, weirdly, given that she can't taste anything. I guess she's so used to food being a chore it doesn't make much difference. Such a shame because she used to be a real gourmet.

I can't really get DD not to use the NHS site without disabling the internet which I can't do because it's the only way she do her school work or keep up with friends. And in a way, the internet will always be there. Indeed it does specifically say not to be used by people with eating disorders and all the professionals say it makes them tear their hair out as there are vanishingly few people who could be healthy at the lowest weight (I think you'd have to be a tiny frame of a different race to dd).

@Bettybarkalot123 45kg seems a distant dream to me! I honestly think another couple of kg would make a massive difference to DD as she already looks so much better at 43 than 40. But it's all kind of arbitrary - I keep muttering about French Revolution and the metric system and how there used to be lots of different kilograms.

Are they similar heights? My dd is 165cm.

We had to measure her for the assessment and she's grown a cm. Which is good in that she's not stunting her growth. Bad in that she drops down a few %.

167cm, almost 15, always been very bony framed, absolutely no boobs or bum, though they might arrive when she eats a bit more.

Just seen that her 100% WFH has gone up almost a full kg! Argggh it's the bottom of the rainbow that we're never going to reach.

Oh @Valleyofthedollymix that's hard. Both the Covid and the height. We've measured DD and she has shrunk by a whole centimetre! Today at camhs they said it's unusual but can happen due to the degradation of the spinal muscles. Which is horrendous but otoh she's gained 1.5kg in a week and is now 83% wfh so on target to be back to school after half term. She's pushing bank now but I will not give up. Also given her wfh is now calculated at a shorter height!

@Valleyofthedollymix DD1 is 165 cm and had barely any boobs or bum at that weight. Her boobs have exploded since gaining the weight. Nothing alarming, but just the proper body she should have.

We had the video call with the psychiatrist. We're restarting the olanzapine at 0.5mg twice per day, but if it doesn't work within 2 days, we're putting it up to 1mg twice per day.