Teen Eating Disorders support thread 3

[Girliefriendlikespuppies]

Thought I better get a new thread going!

Please come and join us if your teen is struggling with an Eating Disorder. We are a kind, supportive bunch of parents looking to support each other through the dark days of caring for a teen with an ED.

@Lougle I can't work out how to pm you?

[quote NCTDN]@Lougle I can't work out how to pm you?[/quote]
You should be able to click the ... next to any of my posts, then click 'PM'.

DD1 had porridge today. A small win.

Lougle it just seems never ending doesn’t it? And we are still right at the start!

sm701 sounds like you’re making progress! Well done to you and your DD. Where are your August hols? Are they abroad?

NCTDN DD was 100% compliant when she was in hospital because she literally had no choice. It was either eat or be tube-fed. At home it’s a different story because the ED voice has really kicked in and she’s pushing back against everything. That being said she has eventually eaten everything but it can sometimes take a while!

DD is desperately hoping that she will be able to go back to school on Tuesday after our clinic session tomorrow. Last week she didn’t manage to gain any weight and they said if she has this week then she can. But I think if she has it will be small, like maybe be 300g. I don’t know if that will be enough for them as obviously she will expend a lot more energy at school then she is doing at the moment at home.

She says she is desperate to get back to school but not quite desperate enough it seems as she is still flat out refusing to eat certain things to try and boost the weight gain.

@NCTDN Dd wasn't 100% compliant in hospital- we thought she was but turned out she was getting rid of food and secretly exercising - how exactly when one of us was with her all the time and nursing staff were in and out will remain one of life's mysteries.

@Scr1bblyGum am sorry you're having such a tough time but your autocorrect did make me smile - what had the dolphin done I wondered 😉

Dolphin was in reference to FBT dolphin analogy of gently nudging our dc along. I replaced it with a rhino as fed up of tip toeing around.Feels like enabling at times and my patience is shot to pieces.

Think I got a speed ticket yesterday. Was so exhausted with lack of sleep and worrying about dd, didn’t see the police van. Could cry. Probably karma. Maybe if I’d been in dolphin mode I’d have been driving properly.😬

Ahhh I see! No dolphins in our therapy although Dd got wound up by references to anorexia being like a mushroom and welcoming dark hidden spots 😀

@myrtleWilson that really is a mystery- dd can barely breathe without being watched.

I love the idea of us as dolphins. Think I stray into lioness too much! Sunday been quite rubbish after a morning meltdown. It's such a long road isn't it. Full of potholes and dead ends. I'm trying to keep calm and forget the lost snack this morning and focus on dinner. Nothing more important than the next mouthful.
Not surprised about the potential ticket @NCTDN , I'm not sure I should be driving most days.

Sorry that was @Scr1bblyGum and the potential ticket!!

Ha to the dolphin. I was thinking about how changeable DD is and then I realised that I manage to cycle through all the animals on a daily basis. Today it was the animal that gives up as has no fight left.

We had the most full-on manifestation of an AN voice yesterday with DD saying she was ill, stomach ache, too weak to brush her teeth etc and as a consequence had 'vowed' to herself that she wouldn't eat breakfast. 'And what sort of a greedy person eats when they're ill? And breaks their own promise?' Took a lot of dolphinning to get out of that one.

We had my Dads 70th bday party today, the first big family get together in a long time. Dd didn't cope well 😕 ate the bare minimum and was very antisocial.

We had fallen out before we even got there about walking the dog.

It would be bliss to have one day off from this shit wouldn't it.

Oh god Myrtle, how infuriating. You know it’s the illness not the girl, but damn you can’t avoid feeling annoyed at them.

Sorry @Girliefriendlikespuppies not Myrtle! On phone...

Oh sorry about your party @Girliefriendlikespuppies. It's so draining, isn't it?

We're still on the 'one different thing a day' challenge. Today, I brought out the 'snacker' biscuits and cheese. A lot of shaking, a lot of 'I'm sure I'll puke.' But after giving her 7 biscuits (only 80 calories) and 40g cheese, she came back down and asked for more!! So another 5 biscuits and 32g cheese, which have a total of 494 calories.

It means I don't have to worry if she fails the 'Salmon, potatoes and broccoli' challenge tonight.

You're doing great Lougle 🌟

Weirdly dd has done quite well since coming home and had a decent amount of scrambled eggs on toast, a cereal bar, orange juice and then asked for chocolate 😳

She must have been hungry after eating sod all at the party 🙄

I know I shouldn't care but I'm feeling a bit depressed by some of the photos of me taken today 😕 I honestly look pregnant (probably not helped by my outfit choice) I've always maintained a size 12 and am easily a 14 or 16 now.

I'm going to have to work out how to reduce my intake a bit whilst still getting loads of calories into dd.

I'm a little rotund as well . I haven't changed dress size, but I just look flabby. Ho hum.

Another one not has any mention of dolphins just yet. I’ll keep my ears peeled for it! 👂

Girlfriend such a shame about your Dad’s party. This illness sucks all the pleasure from everything doesn’t it? Does everyone in your family know what you’re currently dealing with?

Valley yes I’m finding the ED logic very frustrating! DD’s latest argument is that it was far less restrictive when we didn’t know what she was doing as then at least she would have been able to eat at the restaurant for DS’s birthday on Friday or she could go out with her friends to Westfield shopping for the day. But now she can’t do anything because she has to eat 6 times a day instead. I said that her being able to do those things previously came at a cost of her deciding she’s not allowed to eat anything else for the days beforehand and she says that she preferred it that way.

Lougle I am in awe of how much you are able to get your DD to eat! How do you do it? DD cried today because I gave her a tuna Mayo wrap for lunch today. I can’t comprehend her eating cheese & crackers any time soon!

@Girliefriendlikespuppies we have cut all'diet' food out of the house including skimmed milk which is what is always have in cups of tea. I don't think it's fair to have it in the house and tell dd she can't have it. I've piled on weight. If dd could just have some of mine it would be job sorted for both of us!

@Rollergirl11 I think DD1 has a far more simple definition of 'good' and 'bad' food. Good is 'tastes nice/feels good' and bad is 'tastes boring/doesn't feel good'. She doesn't understand calories in terms of being able to look at a food and judge if it's high/low calorie. She just knows that calories are energy. She doesn't realise that more calories=more weight.

Having said that, she does have extensive lists of food that she won't eat because she's convinced herself that it makes her gag or she's intolerant to it. With the cheese & biscuits thing, I knew that I had to jump in and build on the success of eating a Dairylea Lunchables by replicating it. But in all honesty, she could put them on the no list in 3 days time.

Tonight she did well. 5 miniature potatoes, 2 stems of tenderstem broccoli, a small pile of samphire, 100g salmon and a small amount of a sauce that was onions, pepper, double cream and stock. She rejected ⅔ of the sauce and said she'd vomit if we made her eat the rest. That's what I find the hardest, because DD2 gets very distressed if she thinks DD1 will vomit, so I tend to give in.

Morning everyone
I'm sorry some have had such a rubbish weekend
Sending virtual strength for the week ahead
Lil zoo has been dropping snacks as "too full".she was weighed on Thursday and gained 1kg.i suspect part of this is her lack of pooing....it's always been a problem but increase volume of food is making her very uncomfortable and her IBS pains been really bad all weekend having both painkillers and buscopan.the dietician we spoke to suggested oats and flaxseed to help with any bloating and increases regularity.she refused flax based on uncertainty how fast will workand wild horses won't make her eat oats
Anyone any experience/advise of gut adjusting to meal plans?

Is she drinking @Stilllivinginazoo? Fluid is so hard here, but it's the answer to bowel movements.

lougle she isn't a big drinker,but as part of the plan is ment have 200mls fluid at each meal/snack and 2extra..
She's managing about 5-6 which is a massive ramp up for her(used to be 200-400 MLS if lucky!)

Zoo will she take a decent probiotic? I think I'd want her on a high dose to try and sort her stomach out a bit.

I tried changing dds porridge to the extra protein one and she noticed straight away 🙄 it does have a slightly gloopier texture.