Teen Eating Disorders support thread 3

[Girliefriendlikespuppies]

Thought I better get a new thread going!

Please come and join us if your teen is struggling with an Eating Disorder. We are a kind, supportive bunch of parents looking to support each other through the dark days of caring for a teen with an ED.

PS really sorry @sm701 that you had to go to hospital but it sounds like a good call

Glad the hospital trip has helped @sm701.

DD1 sees the Psychiatrist today.

@sm701 glad the trip to A&E has helped focus your DD! Having said that I am actually looking back on our little stint in hospital a few weeks ago rather fondly. I was cocooned from DD’s vitriol whilst we were in there! 😂

Lougle good luck for DD with the psychiatrist today.

DD has just said that she will come along to the restaurant tomorrow as long as we are clear that she’s not going to eat and none of us are to attempt to cajole her while we are there. I’m fine with that. I can just make sure she has eaten her meal before we go. She actually seems in much better spirits today and is engaging in conversation with me which is more than I’ve had for the last week. She has decided that she wants to come with me to a party shop to get some balloons for her brothers birthday which I’m pleasantly surprised about. I also noticed that she’s made an effort to dress up slightly today, wearing a top she bought for her birthday last month with some jeans rather than the usual super baggy joggers and hoodie that she’s been living in since we returned from hospital.

Hi can I join this?

Yes, of course, @NCTDN. I hope you find the thread useful.

Apologies as not rtft but @Zzzexhaustedzzz and @Lottsbiffandsmudge my dd sounds so similar. COVID undoubtably started this for her, GCSEs were cancelled etc. She dances a lot and has always been tiny anyway so tricky to spot and change.
We were referred as her periods stopped and eventually got to dietetics who referred her to Ceds. Total shock to go to the appointment and end up being hospitalised It was so traumatic but at least we're now getting the support we need.

@NCTDN sorry to hear that your DD was hospitalised. How is she now?

She's doing ok. She admitted ages ago that she needed help so isn't fighting any of it. I just want to see instant results though.
I'd never heard of weight for height until this week.

There are definitely some of you here I can relate to. My dh doesn't have a clue how to handle all of this.
Obviously this is a long going thread so I assume many of you have been on this journey a long time (and hopefully some positive stories to relay).

Glad you found us, @NCTDN.

DD1 had a Psychiatrist appointment today. She's 90% wfh now (49.6kg). Her period was 5 days late, so the psychiatrist thinks she's not quite where she needs to be yet, but wants to slow down the weight gain.

We had a chat in a separate room while DD1 drew us a picture. The psychiatrist was going to further reduce the olanzapine, but I pointed out that DD1 is still on 3000 calories. So we've agreed that we'll cut her intake to 2300 (very easy because I can just cut one of the croissants out of breakfast and reduce snack quantities slightly) but keep her medication the same for now.

Interestingly, since going from 1.25mg BD to 1mg BD, she's started to say she's fat and chubby, etc.

School tomorrow, just for one lesson.

Welcome @NCTDN if that’s the right word. Is your Dd still in hospital? I think lockdown has very badly impacted many of our kids, it was certainly the trigger for my DD.
Well done on getting to 90% @lougle
Fingers crossed for your DS’s birthday meal @Rollergirl11 I remember well the week my DS1 turned 17 and DD decided that was the best week to break my oven....so his birthday roast and cake was touch and go.... siblings get such a raw deal in all this.

90% sounds amazing - and a long way off.
What's olanzapine?

Olanzapine is an anti psychotic medication given in low doses to ED sufferers to quieten the ED ‘voice’. My DD is on 5mg a day and it really helped her at the worst of her illness.

Olanzapine is an antipsychotic drug that is used to reduce the distress some patients feel when they are being encouraged to eat.

Just as an encouragement, DD1 was 68% wfh 15 weeks ago, when she was admitted to hospital.

@Lougle that's so encouraging to think that she could potentially be at 90% in 15 weeks.
From what I've been reading, she's never been anywhere near 100% wfh- always on the second percentile growth and weight charts.

Yes, DD1 slipped down over a period of years from 25th to

Lougle you have done so well to get your dd to 90% wfh, honestly you should be so proud of yourself.

There should definitely be medals for hitting wfh milestones 😁

Roller I think that sounds like a good compromise for the meal out. I agree that it might be a bit soon to go away for a few days though 😕 I like the others seemed to time the most intense refeeding when there was a lockdown on (and I got signed off work twice) it definitely was easier being stuck at home as the routine was very similar every day. I remember the early days of refeeding and the hatred in dds eyes when I put a snack in front of her was scary 😟 it does get better I promise!!

We are going away for half term though 😬 my dd is now nearly 97% wfh so it should be fine and even if she loses a bit of weight I should be able to get it back on her once home... I'm so ready for a holiday so praying it's not stressful.

Dh went back to work today in London which I have been really nervous about. We live in a hotspot so the thought of him getting on a train and commuting from here was not a great thought.
I took DD to her last trial tonight and when I got back he wasnt home so I cleared up, made sure my sons were ok and got DD to bed etc.
He has just rolled in. He went for a drink after work. No message nothing.
I am beyond livid. DS2 has another week of GCSE exams next week. DD is in a precarious position mh wise and I am just terrified of then having to self isolate and what that might do to her recovery. And my sons too.
I feel like I am living in a constant state of heightened anxiety about DD and her recovery falling away and just feel totally unsupported.
Anyway now I cant sleep whist he snores drunkenly upstairs

Am I just over reacting? This whole lockdown release and our areas high rates has got me in a right tail spin.
I keep imaging going back to Jan and I am not sure I could do it.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies perhaps we need AA style coins

@Lottsbiffandsmudge no, that's really inconsiderate. I'd be cross too. How did your DD's trials go?

@NCTDN I don’t think DD would have ever been at 100% either. I think we are aiming for between 95 and 98% but people on here say that they don’t start to see improvement mentally until they are 100% or more. Is your DD still in hospital? We are just a few weeks ahead of you. DD was admitted to hospital on the bank holiday weekend and was discharged 2 weeks ago today. My DD dances too.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies well I hope you have a fab week away during half term. Fingers crossed it will be a relaxing break.

@Lottsbiffandsmudge wow, you are not overreacting! I’d be seriously raging if DH went out all night without even a text home. That’s just basic manners! I hope he has the hangover from hell and don’t you lift a finger for him! My DH is going back to his London office on Monday. A few weeks ago I would have welcomed it as he has been getting on all of our nerves lately (purely because he’s bored at home) but now it’s stressing me out knowing I’ve fit the deal with it all on my own without him here. That being said I just got back from dropping DS at school and DD was sat at the kitchen table on her own saying that she’d finished her breakfast. DH was upstairs in bed. I said to him that the whole point is she needs to be supervised to make sure she hasn’t just thrown it all in the bin and he says that she’s fine and DD wouldn’t do that. It’s like hitting my head against a brick wall sometimes! DD absolutely would throw it away if she thought she could get away with it. It’s like he has forgotten what she’s been like the last 2 weeks at home! 🤦‍♀️

Ref the Olanzapine, how do you go about getting that prescribed? Does that have to be done through the doctors or psychiatrists? DD so far has just seen her care coordinator at the Eating disorder clinic. She seemed a bit calmer yesterday but the ED voice has been very strong up until then. She was telling me about all of the irrational compulsions she is getting at mealtimes when the voice is very loud and very mean. She said she has dozens of thoughts to do this or that and then telling her that she’s worthless or a failure if she doesn’t do them. It’s frightening to hear that this is what she is dealing with, this inner battle with the ED constantly telling her that she’s shit and isn’t deserving. 😱😨

Yes she went in on Monday. Is there somewhere you can calculate their weight to get 120% wfh?

Do you have any indication as to when she will be discharged NCTDN? What wfh has she been given at the moment? I haven’t used any calculators myself but Lougle was able to give me a wfh for my DD before we went to A&E.

They said it could just be a week depending on bloods extra, but she's 70% atm.

Oops other post I meant 100% wfh not 120%

@NCTDN how is her heart rate? DD’s was very low and that was their main concern besides the refeeding. Is your DD on the paediatric ward?