When I reread my post I realised it sounded so cold ! I just gave a potted history so I could reach out to other parents going through a similar situation. This illness is horrid and cruel robbing my daughter of her life, school, friends and the vital ingredient for life - food. I hate it so much every day is a worry and a struggle and even in good days you worry about his long will this last and will she be forever on a meal plan - will I be for st weighing and measuring and compromising ? Tbh she would have been the last person I would expect to get this awful and cruel illness.
Looking back there were signs but in isolation and without the blessing of hindsight they weren’t enough to make me worried enough to seek help.
It all started with her deciding she wanted a healthier lunchbox. She’s not a pick in her and us very tall for her age. But we adapted her lunchbox (their canteen being refurbdd do no hot food). We chose cereal bars, dried fruit, yoghurt and muesli. She wanted to switch to almond milk. She was still eating breakfast and a full dinner. She also decided to give up chocolate and cake. She loved baking but wouldn’t eat a cake!
This started in mid October. I had no cause for concern she embraced this health kick and all seemed fine.
However, things started to go down hill at the beginning of December as she wanted to have no carbs - didn’t want sandwiches and would eat potatoes of any form at dinner.
She refused to have an advent calendar and i thought that’s taking healthy eating a bit too far when you can’t allow yourself a small big if chocolate every day. Something wasn’t right I know it sounds stupid but she she always loved an advent calendar.
We had a routine appointment and before she went in I went ahead of her to say to the doctor about my concerns - her hands were a strange purply/blue colour. When she saw the GP they talked generally and in conversation they talked about lockdown and was she eating and sleeping ok. And she said she wasn’t eating as much as she wasn’t doing much physical work. They agreed she would have a little often.
After the appointment, we walked home and she told me she lied to the doctor that she simply couldn’t eat a little often. She wasn’t making herself sick and never has but she was hiding food and she had a little devil on her shoulder telling her not to eat.
From that day everything went downhill, it’s like once she had ‘confessed’ she didn’t have to pretend any more and she ate almost nothing and her weight plummeted - this was Christmas week. We got her into the paediatrician and he diagnosed anorexia nervosa and on Xmas day she was admitted to the children’s ward with her weight at below 6 1/2 stone she lost almost a stone in a week she just wouldn’t eat.
She was discharged 10 days ago and whilst she’s not cured she is eating her meal plan and gaining weight slowly.
When I look back all the sign were there I just didn’t put them together. If only I knew then what I know now.
I’ve been blamed by my ex-husband for it and I was just starting a new job - I feel like I’ve been hit by a train! Thankfully the new job has been really supportive and was a 5 minute walk from the hospital - and now she’s home I work from home.
She is able to return to school as I’m In Jersey and schools have been open here since January.
I worry about her returning to school, all the questions and intrigue and I don’t want her to be defined by this illness. Or god forbid bullied or trolled 😔
We cut off tik tok as she said that made things worse with girls posting under the hashtag what little they had eaten that day, dd says that definitely was a catalyst 😔 who knew ?
We have been told because she us young and we caught it early she has a really good chance of beating it x