Teen Eating Issues/Disorders Support Thread 2

[myrtleWilson]

Our first thread is almost full. Here is our second - a place to seek and share advice, to lament and scream with rage and sadness, to celebrate each other's successes as we navigate the choppy waters of supporting our children with eating disorders.

All are very welcome, whether you're at the start of this journey or a more seasoned traveller.

I'll link this thread to the first one and then I thought it may be helpful if on joining this one we did a quick precis of our current situation.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4016379-teen-eating-issues-support-thread?msgid=104736115

@Scr1bblyGum really pleased your DD is responding positively to being there- are the meds helping do you think? Let's hope this is a step closer for you to getting her back on track. I'm certain that once they get admitted the ED quietens down and it's a huge relief for them....

@SoTiredNeedHoliday I would take her in tomorrow to get her checked over if Camhs aren't being proactive enough. At that wfh and with declining amts being taken I can't imagine they won't want to keep her in..nothing to be gained by delaying.

@Lougle what a lovely class your DD has. Did that help to cheer her up a bit? School actually rang me on Fri to check whether we felt DD would cope with being given Easter choc along with rest of her class. We said yes but know full well she won't touch it sadly - but for her the awkwardness of being the odd one out wld have been more stressful. Was quite impressed they bothered to phone us thouhj..

@Girliefriendlikespuppies hope DD's waterworks have cleared up now and she's feeling better?

@NelleBee so sorry to hear about your brother's anniversary. That must still be really tough for you to deal with. Sorry too about the fraud stuff but glad you spotted it so quickly. Like you need that on yop of everything else.
Hope CAMHS are responsive about doing the physical ob's - they really should be!

Bit if a long dsy here. Had first face to dace CAMHS appt with DDs KW who is now leaving on 7 wks. Hoping it doesn't cause probs with continuity of care....DD has had her for nearly 2 years.
Weigh - in not great either. DD insisted on seeing weight this time after 4 mths of doing it blind ( apart from the psych blunder where it got blurted out). Sged only pit on 0.1kg compared to almost 1kg last wk so bit puzzled about that. Not a huge deal as we do need to move to mpre of a maintenance plan now she's in range but wondering whether the packed lunches & snack she's just started having back at school have been too tempting an opportunity for her to lose bits...really hope not or that's going to be a tricky sit to deal with.

Roo I'd be very wary of moving towards a maintenance plan as everything I've seen and read suggests you have to go quite a bit over 100% wfh to see an improvement mentally and your dd still sounds pretty poorly mentally from what you've said.

Nelle that's so sad about your brother and yes 3 years is no time at all.

Lougle we've been sorting PoA for my mum and it's such a faff.

Scribbly glad your dd is responding well so far.

We've had a rubbish couple of days really, dd has been in a foul mood and is back to trying to scrimp off calories where ever possible 🙄 I'm wondering if this is the extinction rebellion that's talked about on the fb page? I'm fed up with the bad attitude and everything I say is obviously completely wrong 😒

We also had a run in with a huge dog bouncing all over my (little) dog earlier which did nothing for my blood pressure, the stupid bloody owner had absolutely no control over this massive dog and was having a go at me for shouting at the dog to get off 🤬

Not looking forward to Easter at all 😔

@Girliefriendlikespuppies I've managed to get all the forms signed except for my brother's signature. He's going to visit them on Tuesday, so I'll get him to sign then.

DD1 isn't doing well. She's had loads of calories (3168) but the distribution is all skewed. She had 1800 calories this morning (5 pancakes with butter/golden syrup/Nutella). Then she didn't have morning snack, which was expected. She also didn't have lunch, but at afternoon snack had 2 millionaire shortbread (500 cals). At dinner time we went to Burger King. She wouldn't order food and just asked for a coke. Then she changed her mind and asked for a whopper when everyone else got theirs. Then she said that she only ordered it because she didn't want to let the ED win, but she had no idea how she'd eat it. She took 2 small bites. When we got home, she said she may as well let the eating disorder win. She had her evening olanzapine and went to bed because she was exhausted. 30 minutes later, she got back out of bed and ate the Whopper. Now she's gone back to bed.

She asked for a top up of her 'angry medicine' this evening because she could feel herself getting angry (I don't have any PRN meds). She wouldn't come down to see her uncle and aunty and cousins when they visited this afternoon

I think I've suddenly realised that she's so much more unwell than just the eating disorder. Even when we get the weight up, she isn't going to be 'better'

Lougle I obviously can't say for certain and am just some random person on the internet but I reckon with weight gain your dd will improve mentally. She's still very much in the grips of this hideous illness so it's hard to see what life post ED will look like.

My dd couldn't cope with a sleepover at my mums tonight so we ended up coming home, she used to sleep over there all the time pre ED.

Thanks Girlie I need to hear that.

Hi. I am new to this thread. I have a 15 year old son who is currently the same weight he was at age 12. He has a metabolic disorder diagnosed at birth and since he was a baby we have had to calculate the nutritional content of every item of food he eats. In hindsight its not surprising we have ended up at the point of an eating disorder. Its easier for him to just not to eat anything than deal with all the hassle his medical condition brings. He can't eat meat, dairy, wheat products, soya, lentils pulses etc the list is endless so right now this is unbelievably hard.

Welcome chick that does sound tough, are you under the care of a dietician?

Anyone else find they miss their pre ED child? I've really missed my dd today, even though I've been with her all day 😢

Yes Girlie I do. I’m finding it’s one of the worst things about all this. Starting to see her since she’s on the Olanzapine and we’re finding that hard as know how this disease can gets your hopes up only to dash them later.

The nurses gave her an Easter egg yesterday. She was over the moon and ate the mini eggs in it which was lovely to hear.She used to love Easter. I know it’s the Olanzapine, feel as if I’m in no mans land and just want her back as the glimpses are really hard.

It's really hard. Welcome @Chicksy.

Got to go shopping today as no food in the house. Will need to stick up for a hopeful return on Wednesday. Wtaf should I buy?Its going to be hell in there.

DS has had a dietician since he was a baby. Recently he has been assigned to a new one but I have to say she has been superb, extremely supportive and he is having fortnightly face to face reviews with her at the hospital as well as contact in between.

@Scr1bblyGum that is hard, seeing glimpses of our pre-ED DDs. I often find we see a bit and the AN senses it and comes whooshing back in to reassert itself. But each glimpse is hopefully a step in the right direction, it has to be. Now your DD is on olanzapine, she'll hopefully be able to regain some weight and with that, more of herself. 🤞 Hope she doesn't need to be in for too long? Are you staying in with her?

@Chicksy welcome to the thread, hope you find the support here helpful. Wow, that must feel like a long old road for you guys. Good you have a helpful dietician though... our experience with them has been mixed!

@Girliefriendlikespuppies I agree Girlie, I don't want DD to plateau just yet though do have to be uindful of the fact that at discharge, IP told her she's about to move to more of a maintenance regime so I don't want her to react too negatively to gaining a few more %'s wfh. Ideally I'd like her to be around 98% min (ie another coupel of kg - just worked out we're 94% at mo). CAMHS and IP felt she naturally sits just at around 95%; she is quite a slight build so has probaly never quite been 100%. Anyway, I'll keep on with the current meal plan and aim for at least 0.3kg each wk for the next few.. can then see how restarting footie and riding is impacting on things.

Hope everyone else here is surviving?

Scribbly essentials for us are double cream, butter etc, that's great your dd is responding to the meds.

Chick that's good the dietician is helpful, sounds like it must be a nightmare to get enough calories/high fat foods in.

Roo I def think state not weight is the way to go, my dd is about 95% wfh now and still really not well.

We're okay, just back from our daily walk, not really looking forward to tomorrow tbh 😕 dd is not in the best of moods.

I can’t supplement foods. Our camhs team tells us not to. She did tell me some things she fancied so I bought her some snacks and cereal she wanted. Sort of things she hasn’t wanted in ages. Do you think that’s ok? Well obviously be in charge.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies yes, agree state not weight must be a guiding factor. Just difficult to imagine state being anything like it was pre-ED currently, even with a bit more weight gain. She does just seem to sink into darker moods so easily and quickly, just when you think they're on an upward path again. DD also being v funny about holding my hand sometimes on walks (she always liked to) & kind of recoils when I go to do it and won't tell me why - hints there's a reason but can't tell me. Really do despise how AN does this.

I don't really think of it as supplementing anymore tbh Scribbly it's just normal cooking now to make white sauces for pasta with cream and cheese etc. Dds never asked what's in anything though so I've never had to lie 🤷‍♀️ If your dd is asking for certain foods then I'd definitely go with it.

I've felt a bit ropey today, had my 2nd vaccine Ystd so think that's why.

I think CAMHS can be overly sensitive about this idea of supplementing, it annoys me. I totally see the need to preserve trust with our DDs but I don't see how using more calorie rich ingredients betrays that. It simply helps us to achieve the most important goal we have here - ie weight gain!

@Girliefriendlikespuppies hope you feel less ropey tomorrow! I delayed having my first jab this week - maybe stupid - but couldn't face feeling rough with all 3 at home (DH rarely here).

I was hoping the second jab wouldn’t be noticeable. The first one made me very thankful I’ve managed not to catch the real thing.Haven’t felt so grim in ages.😬

I found the second jab much worse than the first! Sorry you are feeling rough @Scr1bblyGum

We had McDonald’s today and he did really well eating fries and a wrap. We are still having under 2000 calories a day though. We’ve had a few good chats about how he isn’t eating enough to sustain him and he needed to eat more and he acknowledged that and agreed but then later he cried and said he knows he needs to eat but he doesn’t like it.

Been lurking ladies
Sorry to hear of everyone's ongoing struggles
Just a heads up you have only two posts after this til threads full

Hi all, I hope you are all having a good (calm) Easter. We are starting to struggle again. Things DD hasn’t worried about for ages are coming back, and she is starting to obsess about training again. Lots of tears, bad moods and one word answers. I’m shutting down and can feel myself losing patience- I don’t know how you all do it. I’m not having half the shit that you wonderful women seem to be having but I can feel myself breaking. My own mood is dark. I’m snappy, sleepy and hollow.

I may step back from here a bit. Not because I want to as such, just because I want to stop thinking. Stop caring maybe. I don’t know. I’m kinda screwy right now. I really, really hope you all improve, really hope things get better or stay better. Thank you all. I’ll speak to you soon x

Sorry to hear you're struggling Eve keep lurking and pop on whenever you want.

I've started a new thread but am hopeless at links so hope you can all find me!!!